to think SAHMs should stop referring to this as "a full time job"?

[ConfusedintheNorth]

Ok I'm probably going to get pulled apart for this, but this really gets under my skin. Every time I go on facebook or twitter there are a barrage of statuses/comments from friends who are SAHM going on about how busy and hectic their lives are and how "being a mother is a full time job", and it's driving me insane! I'm sorry but it's just not, is it? I was a single mother who home schooled, and ran my own business full time, and managed to get through every day without any sort of time travel devise. I am aware everyone does things differently and I'm possibly over reacting, but seriously if you only have a couple of kids, a supportive partner and don't have to work, in the grand scheme of things you have it pretty good and should probably stop endlessly telling the world how hard your life is. (and breath!)

ggrrrr their not they're (lucky I'm not home -edding my kids!)

op of course YANBU, but mn may not be the best place to ask this question, being full of middle class mummies......

TwoOddSocks... I think it's a deference mechanism from the smug "being a mother is my job" replys you get at the school gates when you mention what you do for a living (not saying all sahm do it, but every working mum I know has had that reply at least a few times lol)

I had four under 8.
A dog.
A DH who was out of the house 13 hours a day.
I had a pt job (officially 5 hrs/week, often more, and no holidays ever taken either).
I was up at 6.30 with the baby and my 'working day' ended at 8.30 when I got back in from the evening dog walk.

I usually managed an hour or so to myself during the day, so I didn't go completely mental, but I was doing about 13 hours a day.

So, yeah, I felt I pretty much had a job. I thought people with a pt time job, a husbands who was only out for 10 or 11 hours a day, and one kid, had very cushy lives.

And my own life is much cushier now the DC are older. I won't deny it. It's why I have time for MN.

PS The pt job was from home, with the baby asleep.

ssd... yeah... live and learn lol.

I find the idea that parents who work out of the home get days off, in a way that SAHPs don't a little odd.

What do they think working parents do on their days off? Leave the child's with the cm on a Saturday and go on an all day bender?

ssd there are no prizes for being deliberately inflammatory.

OP don't read those posts on Facebook or Twitter. Some people use this kind of social media in a competitive way...even moaning about their difficult lives gets competitive .....along with the others showing off about their exciting lives, of course. Guaranteed to make you feel crap one way or another, if you take it to heart and judge your own life against their's. So stop.

ConfusedintheNorth well all I seem to hear as a SAHM is "when am I going to get a real job?". I always have to defend myself by mentioning the day or two work I do a week (which is actually my relaxation time). Those mothers are probably being defensive because they've had a hard time just like you, then you react by being defensive and it carries on indefinitely.

This seemed like a good idea, why?

ssd I've been working class and middle class. The only one to tick off my list is upper class now...so what is wrong with that?

I kind of agree with you, FB full of sahms constantly whining how tough it is, how they need a break blah blah blah - stop having more bloody kids then!!! And yes, I'm a sahm and you just get on with it, it's not a job, it's a choice - a choice you made when you had kids, suck it up

fourteen I guess because if you're sick during the week and your kid is well they can still go to nursery/CM? (Of course if you're all sick that's not going to happen).

You can't change class capsicum. You're stuck with the one you're born into (so they say)

Pre-school aged kids, fair enough. When kids are at school, there's no way it's a full time job.

I don't get a loo break alone 8-6 as DS is fascinated and it's easier than him tantrumming.

I don't get a cup of tea as both kids (2yr, 6mo) seem to be set to a schedule where if one is happy the other is kicking off.

I'm sure it's just a phase, and my judgement is so clouded by pills and illness right now, it's porbably not always this negative.

I think it was me that mentioned Facebook and the rounds of 'I am a sahm and do xyz' and I also think it didn't come across in the way I intended. What I meant was, as we are all parents we are ALL parents, whether we work as sahp or wohp part or full time. Why should we judge each other's choices or question who works harder? Surely we're all doing the best we can for our own families?

Slithy what you need is a thermal mug with a lid.

It will transform your life

Oh, I have none of those people on my Facebook by the way, nor am I one of them. Other than the lovely friend who did the nursery run for me thins morning, no one knows how much I'm struggling.

Roll on DH coming back tomorrow.

Sounds good fourteen, I'll Nick dh's

I need my own sippy cup too. One less thing to have eyes in the back of my head over,

Fourteen well you can according to the new definitions. I changed class in the space of a month or two from doing the bbc quiz......

Going to the loo on your own is overrated anyway I find.

OP do you consider nannying to be a full-time job? Genuinely interested.

TwoOddSocks that's a very good point, I must add I am nice to these friends and do the whole sharing parental advice thing, I know I am being a bit harsh and judgmental... but that's why I post on here to allow me to vent! It may just be that I got lucky, or it particularly suited me, but I've done SAHM, I've done part time work, I've done full time work, I've been both married to kids dad, single, and re-married. So I'm not purposefully being a "my way is the best way" ass-hat, I've genuinely tried all the different ways of working this, and I guess it just annoys me (rightly or wrongly) when people complain about things all the time.