to think SAHMs should stop referring to this as "a full time job"?

[ConfusedintheNorth]

Ok I'm probably going to get pulled apart for this, but this really gets under my skin. Every time I go on facebook or twitter there are a barrage of statuses/comments from friends who are SAHM going on about how busy and hectic their lives are and how "being a mother is a full time job", and it's driving me insane! I'm sorry but it's just not, is it? I was a single mother who home schooled, and ran my own business full time, and managed to get through every day without any sort of time travel devise. I am aware everyone does things differently and I'm possibly over reacting, but seriously if you only have a couple of kids, a supportive partner and don't have to work, in the grand scheme of things you have it pretty good and should probably stop endlessly telling the world how hard your life is. (and breath!)

Instituteofstudies - It's a fair point and I agree that there is always someone worse off than you. But I feel the difference is in acknowledging that fact and not act like you're the worst off person in the world.

Maybe I feel isolated or just don't get it as I was and am neither a WOHM or SAHM... I'm a Work at Home Mother... do we get our own little club?

Pfft.

I was the skint single mother, with no back up, no support, no time off, trying to scratch a living for several years (and subsisting on Carer's allowance for a couple of years when nothing else was viable).

Now I am more fortunate and my career has taken a couple of really good turns, I DO have a supportive DP etc.

People are more fortunate than other people. It is human nature not to fully appreciate one's good fortune.

My DC have disabilities, other people's DC don't. My EXH was an indescribable arse who did awful things, some people are luckier. In other ways I am hugely lucky.

Take a break from FB, if it's getting to you

People can moan and complain about whatever they want.

I moan about all kinds of shit so does everyone I know.

I don't say ' oh don't complain about your partner because I don't have one'

Tis silly.

Just nod and smile or ignore fb post. It ain't hard

Maybe I feel isolated or just don't get it as I was and am neither a WOHM or SAHM... I'm a Work at Home Mother... do we get our own little club?

If you throw the HE, in too it's a very particular club

WAHHEM?

But PLEASE don't make it a WOHM/SAHM thing.

Have

In my experience working outside of the home with school aged kids is way harder than staying at home with toddlers.

I miss those days when my biggest worry was someone looking at me funny at sing and sign, possibly being offended by me breast feeding, or offering o.ne of my kids sqaush to drink

No not at all, I've done both, both has pro's and con's and at least we live in a time/culture where we get the option, which not all women do.

I was the skint single mother, with no back up, no support, no time off, trying to scratch a living for several years and subsisting on Carer's allowance for a couple of years when nothing else was viable

I take my hat off to you. I would crumble under the stress.

I actually think many aspects of modern life are unsustainable and in many ways with all the advancements in modern society women continue to have enormous social pressure heaped on them. Looking back at my mum's life somethings do not change or maybe the actual expectations change but the pressure does not.

Join some Home Ed FB groups?

what camp do I fall in?

Today I: got kids ready for school, dropped daughter at piano lesson, attended school Easter service, went to work (traditional, salaried job), collected kids, baked an Easter cake, made dinner. Took phone call from other job (private business), rang gardener about trimming hedges, spoke to Virgin holidays about booking holiday next year, made packed lunches for tomorrow.

Sahm or wohm?

I love the HE groups, largely because a lot of the HE guys are very chilled out and quite to the point about their views on things, which I can get on with.

I actually think many aspects of modern life are unsustainable and in many ways with all the advancements in modern society women continue to have enormous social pressure heaped on them.

It's why I can't stand mothers' griping at each other another. I really, really can't.

I have a lot of respect for SAHP's to under school age children. It is exhausting.

I work full time but compressed into three days and I find my 14 hour days are less draining than being at home with my DS at times (he's just turned one).

On my four days off I do the childcare and house stuff and I really do feel like I have no break.

Knowing that for three days a week I have some time out from being at home is what keeps me sane.

I don't know how full time SAHP's cope, I would be absolutely shattered.

Hats off to them all.

^mothers

If someone was continually posting on here or Facebook about how hard they were finding life and couldn't cope despite relatively "easy" circumstances, I'd probably assume they were struggling with depression or anxiety or both.

Mental health is not necessarily dependent on circumstances. If it was everyone in the first world would be as happy as pigs in shit while folks in developing countries would be as miserable as sin.

As previous posters have said OP, there are plenty of people who are not as fortunate as you (from what you have described) who would protest that you were not ever allowed to complain about life.

You talk about it being like a slap in the face when people talk about their perfect lives with a DH, nice house, sahp etc.

But what about the people who read your thread and it feels like a slap in the face to hear you talk about your home business, which earned enough to support you and the kids or you had other income, when they have to go out to work to put food on the table? Or those who can't HE because they had no education themselves and can't read or write, indeed aren't even aware that HE is an option? Or those who can't have children?

Sometimes life is hard. Sometimes people want a moan. And very few have it perfect.

You came on here to have a moan. Fine. Let others moan too. And for fuck's sake, if people's Facebook posts annoy you, delete them!

LOL @ Frazzel - It raises a good point though, more and more people are working freelance or from home, the typical SAHM and WOHM groups may have their days numbered.

t's why I can't stand mothers' griping at each other another. I really, really can't

I totally agree Arsenic and tbh I have never seen it in my group of friends a total mixumgatherum of both SAHM/wohm and wirk from home mums

And we're kidding ourselves if we think we know exactly what someone else's circs are. People don't always share the tough stuff in RL or on FB.

MrsFrumble, please don't think I led a charmed life, it wasn't, but as you quite rightly said in many ways I was very lucky. Which is why, apart from the very odd grumble, I rarely complain about my circumstances, this doesn't mean I couldn't find something to complain about if I wanted to, it means I appreciate what I have. Everyone needs to vent now and again (this thread is proof of that hahaha) but people also need to stop and realise when they are pushing others away with constant negativity.

Dividing SAHPs and WOHPs in to rival "groups" also ignores the fact that for plenty of people they are not permanent positions! I'm currently a SAHP to preschoolers. I've been a WOHP. I'll be one again when we return to the UK.

Lots of women move between the two during their DC's childhoods. I'd say that women who never work again after their first child is born, and those who return to work immediately and take no maternity leave are in the minority.

I work full time but compressed into three days and I find my 14 hour days are less draining than being at home with my DS at times (he's just turned one).

You see, that^ (14 hour days) makes me want a nap just reading it