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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Dp's customer is overly 'friendly'?

127 replies

Dogzilla · 31/03/2015 12:26

DP is a builder and has been working for a young couple. The husband is never there and DP told me recently the wife wanted to bake him a cake and was asking what his favourite one was, I was a tiny bit but also thought it was a nice gesture..

We had to take an unexpected trip to family in Ireland last week and yesterday he left his emails open. There was one from her saying she was worried about him as he'd had to rush off. She'd also said she was looking forward to him getting back so he could tell her all about what had happened and that she had someone else in to fix something and baked for him but 'it just wasn't the same'..

He said she was just being friendly and that I'm being a jealous nutcase..

aibu?

OP posts:
Theycallmemellowjello · 31/03/2015 12:36

That sounds over friendly to me. Doesn't sound like they've done anything but definitely flirty IMO. His reaction is unreasonable. Can you have a serious chat about how obviously opportunities to cheat come up and you just have to not put yourself on the path of temptation etc.

MyCatIsAGit · 31/03/2015 12:37

I have a friend who is the nicest person in the world, this is exactly the kind of thing she would do, bake cakes for builders and send them slightly over familiar emails - rather than 'please fix x'.

She's just friendly.

UghReally · 31/03/2015 12:39

would you be concerned if this was an old woman?

SaucyJack · 31/03/2015 12:39

She's probably a MNetter Wink

Go and read one of the offering tea to tradespeople threads as you'll see baking cakes seems to be a perfectly usual thing to do for some.

PurpleSwift · 31/03/2015 12:41

That seems strange. YANBU.

Aeroflotgirl · 31/03/2015 12:45

Yes she does seem very overfamiliar and flirty, despite what anybody else thinks on here, it is pushing the boundaries.

maras2 · 31/03/2015 12:47

She so wants to jump his bones.Nip this in the bud.

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 31/03/2015 12:47

Hmm. That's a tricky one! On one hand it does sound over familiar, but I the other I'm "young" and I often give my driving instructor a fresh cake when he picks me up as my lessons happen fall on my baking day. It definitely definitely means nothing, I'm just being nice! But I don't email him for a chat either though, strictly driving lesson stuff only. So it could be her attempt at flirting.

TaliZorahVasNormandy · 31/03/2015 12:48

Your DH's response would annoy me more. He's made it seem worse by doing that.

Why not just say, "Oh, shes just friendly."

Gruntfuttock · 31/03/2015 12:48

It wouldn't cross my mind to bake a cake for a builder. Tea/coffee and biscuits is the norm surely. As for emailing him, that's very strange to me.

GlitzAndGigglesx · 31/03/2015 12:49

I think you feel more threatened because of her age. My dp used to regularly have women buy him gifts as a way of saying thanks for helping. In my last job I used to get tipped £20 by a man every time he visited and he bought me a bottle of champagne when it was my birthday. Dp didn't bat an eyelid I really don't see the problem

Original poster
Dogzilla · 31/03/2015 12:57

She's the same age as me, but no I wouldn't feel so threatened if she was elderly.

She has never been friendly to me, I have met her through different circumstances in the past.

I don't really know what to do, it's pissed me off though.

OP posts:
Original poster
Dogzilla · 31/03/2015 12:58

He has to go back there to do some more work, maybe I should turn up with a cake of my own Wink

OP posts:
SueChef · 31/03/2015 12:59

"It just wasn't the same" is a bit weird.

toffeeboffin · 31/03/2015 13:10

She sounds a bit over familiar, baking especially for him? If she'd happened to have baked and offered him a piece fine, but especially?

And she's baking for another builder too? Is that the rule nowadays? Confused

JamesAndTheGiantBanana · 31/03/2015 13:11

"It just wasn't the same" and not being friendly to you? Hmm, now that sounds dodgy. Sounds like she's trying it on.

toffeeboffin · 31/03/2015 13:12

Maybe next time your hubby goes round send some flapjack or something over for her hubby.. See how she likes it.. Grin

haggardoldwitch · 31/03/2015 13:13

Blimey, I've had builders in forever. I've been making them a cake once a week and have been happy to take orders for favourites.
I hope they don't think I'm over familiar.

sourdrawers · 31/03/2015 13:13

She's wants to get her mitts on his tool if you ask me OP. Have a word with him.

UsedToBeAPaxmanFan · 31/03/2015 13:15

When we had an extension done, I baked every week for the builders and checked which their favourite cakes were. I just thought I was being nice and I'm sure they didn't take it as me being over familiar.

I just thought that they were in.my house all day every day, I was out at work so didn't really get to make them cups of tea etc, so leaving a cake out once a week was a friendly gesture.

You sound a bit paranoid, tbh.

Tubbytimmy · 31/03/2015 13:15

turn up with a packed lunch one day for him. Baking the cake is a nice gesture but she did not need to email him what she did.

diddl · 31/03/2015 13:21

The cake maybe OK (especially if in a tin for him to take home & share with familyGrin)

But emailing to say that she is concerned & looking forward to seeing him again??

And he then called you a jealous nutcase??!!

Surely he should have said that yes she is OTT, but he doesn't reply to the non business emails?

CountingThePennies · 31/03/2015 13:22

Tradesmen get flirted with ALOT

One of my subcontractors has had a very drunk customer keep trying to sit on his knee once.

Colleges and high school can be a problem especially from the last year group in high school.

Imo its only usually a problem when people dont know how to behave around people in an appropriate way which unfortunately is a high percentage of people

Psipsina · 31/03/2015 13:22

I've got a joiner in this week and now I'm worried I haven't baked anything for him.

Heck.

Snozberry · 31/03/2015 13:23

She is being a bit over familiar but some people do just try too hard to be nice and end up all clumsy about boundaries.

If he literally called you a jealous nutcase then there is something to worry about.

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