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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think Dp's customer is overly 'friendly'?

127 replies

Dogzilla · 31/03/2015 12:26

DP is a builder and has been working for a young couple. The husband is never there and DP told me recently the wife wanted to bake him a cake and was asking what his favourite one was, I was a tiny bit but also thought it was a nice gesture..

We had to take an unexpected trip to family in Ireland last week and yesterday he left his emails open. There was one from her saying she was worried about him as he'd had to rush off. She'd also said she was looking forward to him getting back so he could tell her all about what had happened and that she had someone else in to fix something and baked for him but 'it just wasn't the same'..

He said she was just being friendly and that I'm being a jealous nutcase..

aibu?

OP posts:
CarrotVan · 31/03/2015 16:07

I also bake for our builders. I don't send them weird flirty emails.

Original poster
Dogzilla · 01/04/2015 08:16

I talked to DP last night. I explained that I felt it was inappropriate and asked if it was me, emailing a tradesman who worked for us in the same way whether he would be Hmm... He says he would.

He's also said that you do get some flirty customers, not often but it does happen. He says he doesn't bat an eyelid or encourage it, which is fine.

OP posts:
JohnFarleysRuskin · 01/04/2015 08:22

I wouldn't like it.

Dh loves a home made cake and doesn't get any at home Shock

When is the job finished?

FeijoaSundae · 01/04/2015 08:35

I bake. Quite a lot. But what's the point in baking, if you don't also get to eat it?

Our oven is too small, and I can only bake 1 cake at a time. I guess if there was room to whip a double batch of whatever, then I might unlikely be prepared to share the love with total strangers. But I doubt it...

IUseAnyName · 01/04/2015 09:05

Do you trust your dh? If so then you have nothing to worry about x

chrome100 · 01/04/2015 11:18

People bake for builders? Shit, I never knew I was supposed to do that!

Feminine · 01/04/2015 13:58
sheeplikessleep · 01/04/2015 14:03

Baking a cake fine.
That email worded in that way not fine (IMHO)

sheeplikessleep · 01/04/2015 14:05

Just to qualify, I haven't baked a cake for a builder. BUT they have had some cake that I had baked which no one in our house liked
I also made bacon butties for them on one day. Really hope they didn't think I was being forward Blush. Oh gawd

sheeplikessleep · 01/04/2015 14:07

Also, if her husband is never there, she may have been waiting years for the building work to be done and genuinely chuffed for it to be happening. It could just be a thank you.

I do think the 'baking for someone else wasn't the same' is over-familiar though.

MNpostingbot · 01/04/2015 14:16

Jealous nutcase for me OP Smile

Sort of thing my wife and MIL do a lot of, neither of whom are jumping anyone's bones other than their husbands.

Guadalupe · 01/04/2015 14:16

Cake is fine. Not so different to tea and biscuits if you bake a lot anyway. Surely they would just 'have a cake' and then the rest of your family also has cake.

Email is weird and flirty.

guilianna · 01/04/2015 14:22

I've baked for builders asked me to stop as it was playing havoc with his partial

RyanAirVeteran · 01/04/2015 14:22

They get a Sports Direct bucket of tea on arrival, one at lunch time and a third one if they ask for it.

They get a bacon sandwich on a Saturday morning and that is it.

Moot point re fancying the last lot, I don't think they had a full set of teeth between them. Grin

guilianna · 01/04/2015 14:23

they'd been to me first, Ryan Blush

Damnautocorrect · 01/04/2015 17:21

Cakes fine
Her email AND his reaction, not fine. Really not fine.

Unfortunately I do know a few women who have had affairs with builders. I'm sure others will advise much better than me, but I'd say nothing more to him and snoop his arse off.

stormtreader · 01/04/2015 17:39

Reply "We are currently catching up on work schedules after our family trip, he should be with you to continue work from / available to take on more work on x date".

You don't need to emphasize the "we" but she'll read it in huge letters :D And it'll also tip her off that this is not his personal private email address to send flirty emails to, his wife also reads them and he's not hiding their interactions from you.

maliaki · 01/04/2015 20:33

I wouldn't do an email from you OP, I like the first part of the one above but not the latter, the professionalism and friendly rejection (or rather brush aside) should come form him solely not by way of an email that reads from a partner. The first part says 'happily married' the second should say 'I'm interested in only professionalism'

BobblesAndBells · 01/04/2015 21:41

I agree storms email wording is perfect, but it should come from him, not you. If you email her, it will make you look like an over possessive paranoid person.

He can quash her flirtiness in an instant with a professional brush off like this. Ask him to reassure you he's done that, and then you have to trust him.

BuildYourOwnSnowman · 01/04/2015 21:53

We had builders in. They brought their own tea making equipment and biscuits

DH made them a cake. They were freaked out. They Confused and Hmm

DH went Blush

Charley50 · 01/04/2015 21:57

Grin buildyour

Bifald · 01/04/2015 22:03

If it's any consolation to you, I regret being as friendly as I was to the builder I had in the house recently. I was making dinner and he said "you might like to make me some" with a wink, as though he were saying you might like to go out with me one night. I put the left overs in an old indian takeaway plastic container, meaning that he should take it home with him when he left. He kept arriving late and leaving late. I was so glad to see the back of him. Not sure if his wife worried I'd made him pasta and leeks.

Bifald · 01/04/2015 22:06

yes lol at fancying builders ryanairveteran. I had one once many years ago, converting the attic and he was gorgeous. LIke the guy that played eddie cahill on csi. I believe he is Ireland's one and only handsome fit builder. And as this was 12 years ago, and his dad was like steptoe, probably, now, zero.

Fromparistoberlin73 · 01/04/2015 23:39

Build

V amused at your DH giving the builder his homely cake SmileGrin

Original poster
Dogzilla · 21/04/2015 13:25

Just a little update...

Haven't checked his email since, until today. Some more from her, asking him to go and do some more work. Telling him a funny story about her attempt at fixing radiator, general chit chat and joking with him, with saying she has cake to tempt him back with then another email which simply says he should go round for tea (cuppa I'm assuming?)..

He was very professional throughout the messages.

I'm really pissed off with her.

OP posts:
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