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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I BU to use the disabled toilet?

551 replies

Unplastered · 29/03/2015 14:36

At a local national trust place today, just me with Dd age 6 and baby in his pram.
The baby change unit in the loos is just in the main area, there's a long row of (tiny) cubicles and a large disabled loo with a sink in.
Dd and I both needed the loo, there was nobody around, so I took both kids in the disabled loo.
As we came out there was a woman approaching the loos on a crutch. She hadn't been waiting - she was just approaching as we exited. She told me, sharply, that I shouldn't have used that loo, the baby changing wasn't in there. I said I knew that, we hadn't needed to use it, just wanted a bigger cubicle so as not to leave the baby outside. She replied it didn't make any difference as none of us was disabled.
Was I BU to use the disabled loo?

OP posts:
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5
SauvignonBlanche · 29/03/2015 16:52

In answer to , Why is patience a factor in not wanting to leave her baby outside?, well the OP could have waited whilst her 6 year old (who has not been mentioned as having any SN) went then left the baby with her whilst she went or vice versa.

SauvignonBlanche · 29/03/2015 16:53

Sadly, I think it will be a cold day in hell before people will comprehend that accessible toilet means accessible for those with disabilities, not accessible for all Sad

PilchardPrincess · 29/03/2015 16:55

Just to clarify, a lot of the time there is one toilet with a disabled sign on it with the other sign.

This happened at the hosp for instance, the toilets near the bit where I waited for my appts had a disabled sign on.

MN at the time said not to use them and so that's what I did but I'm never sure that's quite right?

CalmingMiranda · 29/03/2015 16:55

They are accessible toilets. In some places the only toilets available are accessible toilets: can no one else use them?

I think it fair, right and considerate to give disabled users instant priority access, but apart from that I think YANBU.

Not all disabled people need an accessible toilet (e.g deaf, learning disabled) , some non disabled people needan accessible toilet, and often the baby changing unit is in the accessible toilet.

Families should take care not to monopolise these cubicles for ages and recognise they are not the only people with needs, rinsimg sand off the feet of 4 kids and the dog and all getting changed in the accessible toilet while we wait outside is unreasonable, IMO.

(I have a wheelchair user n the family )

Dawndonnaagain · 29/03/2015 16:59

Just like to say dd is a wheelchair user, I'm not. I do have colitis though.

IcaMorgan · 29/03/2015 17:00

If it just has the wheelchair sign on then it's disabled only, if it has the wheelchair and a man and woman sign then it's usable by all as generally that only happens when it is the only toilet in the building

PilchardPrincess · 29/03/2015 17:01

Ica at the hospital there were mainly ones with disabled signs that I could find apart from the ones down near the main entrance.

TheFairyCaravan · 29/03/2015 17:01

They are accessible toilets. In some places the only toilets available are accessible toilets: can no one else use them?

Accessible doesn't mean what you think it means!

Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities

If they are the only toilet available then, yes it's okay to use them, but it's not when there are others available.

Chunkymonkey79 · 29/03/2015 17:05

Yanbu

I don't know where people expect parents to leave babies in prams while they use the loo! I certainly wouldn't leave a baby unattended in a public place while going for a wee!

If nobody disabled is waiting, what is the problem!

hazeyjane · 29/03/2015 17:06

If it has a disabled sign on it and a picture of a man and a woman, and it is the only toilet, then yes it is ok to use it

If the baby changing unit is in there then yes, use it to change a baby. It is crappy design, but there you go.

In hospitals, many of the toilets are multi use, so will be for men, women and disabled users.

Many people with learning disabilities will need to use the disabled toilet.

spidey66 · 29/03/2015 17:06

She was an ignorant cow, they're accessible, not justfordisabled people. And perfectly reasonable given thescenario you described.

I have IBS and frequently use them as I often need to use a loo in a hurry. I'm not disabled, but it would be highly unpleasant for all if I had to wait during a flare up.

Zadkiel · 29/03/2015 17:08

An accessible loo that also doubles as a baby change is a shit idea. They shouldn't even exist.

I am shocked that radar keys are so readily available to anyone. Or that anyone without a disability would even consider getting one.

hazeyjane · 29/03/2015 17:09

Spidey, everybody on this and other similar threads have said that people with IBS and bowel conditions have every right to use the disabled toilet.

Akire · 29/03/2015 17:13

I dont have a problem with families using larger loo if neeed,but the biggest problem I ms parents who breast feed in them and take ages. If your bursting tim im and this is the only toilet it's hell on earth to wait 30m+

Chips1999 · 29/03/2015 17:13

Personally I don't think you were being unreasonable, I would take DS and DD into a disabled toilet if I didn't have another adult with me to watch them. If the lady didn't have to wait to use the toilet I can't really understand why she was telling you off!

trufflesnout · 29/03/2015 17:14

spidey66, rtft:

Accessible doesn't mean what you think it means! Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities

CalmingMiranda · 29/03/2015 17:15

The best design is accessible for disabled people, people with children, people in general. That doesn't mean that a new building designed to top disability access standards is only for disabled people.

By law establishments must provide accessible facilities . But those facilities are not just for Blue Badge holders , like parking. People call them Disabled Spaces, but actually they are Blue Badge holder spaces. There are many disabilities that do not entitle you to a Blue Badge whilst many disabled people with full mobility are entitled to a Blue Badge (childen with ASD), I think the ubiquitous use of the wheelchair symbol for all these eventualities is confusing.

TheCatsFlaps · 29/03/2015 17:16

YANBU. I am disabled myself and am pragmatic enough to see that, in the circumstances, I wasn't being forced to wait and I would have done the same thing.

SauvignonBlanche · 29/03/2015 17:16

Spidey, IBS would be considered a disability under the Equality Act. It's not just about mobility problems.

Zadkiel · 29/03/2015 17:17

Accessible fitting rooms are completely different. If it's in use you can wait to go in to try a top on. That is so very different to having to wait to use a loo and having the distress of shitting yourself while out shopping because someone ahead of you was "only having a quick pee and it was easier".

Adarajames · 29/03/2015 17:23

They're accessible toilets, not disabled toilets!

trufflesnout · 29/03/2015 17:24

Adarajames rtft please.

They're accessible toilets, not disabled toilets!

Accessible doesn't mean what you think it means! Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities

TheFairyCaravan · 29/03/2015 17:25

Blue badge parking spaces are starting to have "accessible parking" signs on them. I wonder if people will think they are a free for all, too?

Dawndonnaagain · 29/03/2015 17:25

The best design is accessible for disabled people, people with children, people in general. That doesn't mean that a new building designed to top disability access standards is only for disabled people.
In an ideal world, obviously this is the case, however, we're not in an ideal world and in almost every workplace and public space there are ten cubicles available for those able to access them and two cubicles available for people with disabilities. Why would anyone, other than someone with a disability want to disable those folk further. I would also suggest that in said ideal world, there are still more likely to be more cubicles than 'accessible' shared space toilets. Certainly that is the case in newer buildings I have been in, but I may be wrong.
I don't have a problem with shared space toilets by the way, as long as they're clearly marked and people are considerate. However, it is rare that there are more than a couple.

SauvignonBlanche · 29/03/2015 17:25

RTFT
Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities

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