Was I BU to use the disabled toilet?

[Unplastered]

At a local national trust place today, just me with Dd age 6 and baby in his pram.
The baby change unit in the loos is just in the main area, there's a long row of (tiny) cubicles and a large disabled loo with a sink in.
Dd and I both needed the loo, there was nobody around, so I took both kids in the disabled loo.
As we came out there was a woman approaching the loos on a crutch. She hadn't been waiting - she was just approaching as we exited. She told me, sharply, that I shouldn't have used that loo, the baby changing wasn't in there. I said I knew that, we hadn't needed to use it, just wanted a bigger cubicle so as not to leave the baby outside. She replied it didn't make any difference as none of us was disabled.
Was I BU to use the disabled loo?

I might make "accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities" my new username unless people start READING THE FULL FUCKING THREAD.

icimoi I am not registered disabled. I just have a very weak bladder and will get a sudden urge to go to the loo. No way would I wait for a regular cubicle if the disabled loo was available. I am not going to wet myself just in case a disabled person comes along.
There are times when anyone needs a loo urgently. Being disabled doesn't always mean bladder or bowel problems either.
I don't think the OP was wrong either. She had a need to use that loo because of her situation. It's not illegal to use a disabled loo.

Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities

As clearly people are struggling to read and remember.

It's not illegal to use a disabled loo.
No, just inconsiderate.

You do not have to prove your disability to use the disabled loo Gottaget. If you have a very weak bladder and get sudden urges to use the toilet, then obviously you have the right to use the disabled toilet because you are DIS-ABLED in queuing for a regular toilet by your bladder.

So far my prediction at the start of the thread is turning out fairly accurate...

I sometimes get the impression that able-bodied people would like disabled people clearly signposted as disabled for convenience. Less star of David, more "no I'm not putting it on" stamped across us.

Truffles: stop repeating the statement. The statement itself is smniguous, and certainly not of legal or other prohibitive status. We have RTFT.

I agree that ideally people who do not require the specific access afforded by an accessible toilet should leave it free for those who do. But calling people names who also had need of a bigger space, and when there were no disabled or indeed any other people around, is uneccessary. There is still common sense and consideration at large in the world beyond MN.

The definition of accessible when it comes to toilets means for people with disabilities. This includes people in wheelchairs, on crutches, people with IBS, people with ASD, people with heart and lung diseases, people with all kinds of things which are defined as disabilities under the equality act.

Having a buggy does not make you disabled. When mine were little and I was still reasonably well I would just leave my buggy wedged outside the cubicle door. Sometimes I'd put the baby on my lap. But never thought of using the disabled toilet, unless it was one of the badly designed ones with changing tables.

I often need to use disabled access toilets now, and sadly often find them being used as normal toilets, especially if there is a queue for the loo. I was at a conference recently where this was the case and it made the day so much more difficult for me. I cannot stand for long and have a lot of pain so waiting is not actually 'easy' for me.

OP YABU, and the woman was also BU because she didn't know if you were disabled or not, but you do, and you were wrong to do this.

I despair at some of the stuff on this thread. Dawndonna , TheFairyCaravan etc we've been on these threads for years trying to enable people to empathise with what it is like for people with disabilities, but sadly it seems to me lately that there is less and less empathy and more and more selfishness. It's the same with the buggies on the buses threads. :( :( i give up, I really do.

Truffles: stop repeating the statement.

Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities.

Unless you NEED to you shouldn't use a disabled toilet, but you can't tell by looking at someone if they need it.

In some places the only toilets which are downstairs are the disabled ones, in that case then on a bad day DS will use the disabled toilets, or if the disabled is closer on a bad day we might use them. On a good day we wouldn't. But he doesn't look disabled but he is.

Can someone please explain to me what I do with my baby in his pram while i wee if I can't take him into the disabled loo with me?

Leave him outside - not an option
Take him but leave the pram - um no on what planet would you leave something worth hundreds of pounds unattended in public?
Leave the loo door open? - why the hell should I?

It's not as if I jump over a person in a wheelchair to get to the toilet before them I only use it if it is free.

It is a non issue and the people saying op was being unreasonable are just looking for something to be pissed off about when it is unlikely to ever negatively impact on them whatsoever.

Why is it okay to use the disabled toilet just because you didn't see anyone disabled after you exited?

I'm struggling to come with an analogy for this - maybe someone else can help

Can someone please explain to me what I do with my baby in his pram while i wee if I can't take him into the disabled loo with me?

You're a grown woman - a mother - what would you do if there were no disabled toilets to use?

Ok, enminimy, you are right you are in an impossible situation, but it is one of your own making, as you aren't willing to do what a lot of other people do. So carry on using a disabled toilet, because you obviously don't see any problem with it.

And no, it isn't a hypothetical situation for many of us, it is a day to day for the rest of life situation

Just out of interest, If there was no disabled toilet available what would you do?

Eminy, how can you say it's a non issue? Did you read Dawndonna's post from further back? Have you a clue how it is to be in this situation? It's the 'just popping in, it's free and there's no one around' mentality that makes it so much more difficult for disabled people, because it means that the toilets are increasingly not free, but instead clogged up with entitled people and their buggies worth hundreds of pounds

dawndonnaagain

It's only inconsiderate if there are regular cubicles available and you choose to use the disabled toilet. If you NEED the loo it's daft to wait when there is a disabled one available. Peeing on the floor is inconsiderate.
Not all disabilities mean the persons need for the loo is any more urgent than anyone else's.

3yrs ago i would of said YANBU but now i would say YABU after reading many threads on the subject and being educated by MN why its not acceptable

also i would not use the large mother and baby cubicles at swimming as my kids are older and they are named that for a reason,changing tables etc

op im sure you would be pretty pissed of if you were waiting for a baby changing cubicle as you needed the changing table and out strolled a mum with a 8yr old child that no way needed the facilities they allow

I would probably hold it until I get home or find somewhere else with an accessible toilet.

But if there is a perfectly functional, fit for purpose, and most importantly, vacant accessible toilet available then I would use it.

Our doctors, local primary school, local preschool, 2 cafes, several museums we have visited, NT properties, theatres etc all ask for buggies to be left outside - don't you ever come across anywhere where you can't take your buggy worth hundreds of pounds.

Oh yes, and swimming pool!

Ok, ok I must be unreasonable.

I guess I'll just have to live with the prospect of having my baby abducted, my pram stolen or loss of dignity (and surely basic human right to privacy)

If you had a buggy that wasn't worth hundreds of pounds, would you still want to use the disabled toilet?

I noticed something a few weeks back when in weatherspoons. The disabled toilet was downstairs, the others upstairs (accessible via steps or lift) The disabled toilet was locked - a few people tried the door, realised it was locked and went upstairs. Someone had a radar key, let themselves in but didn't shut the door properly afterwards, then people just started using that as a normal toilet as it wasn't locked. until I walked past and shut it

For too many people they see it as an easy option when they don't have any need for it just can't be bothered walking a little further!

I guess I'll just have to live with the prospect of loss of dignity (and surely basic human right to privacy)

Please, the irony.