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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Was I BU to use the disabled toilet?

551 replies

Unplastered · 29/03/2015 14:36

At a local national trust place today, just me with Dd age 6 and baby in his pram.
The baby change unit in the loos is just in the main area, there's a long row of (tiny) cubicles and a large disabled loo with a sink in.
Dd and I both needed the loo, there was nobody around, so I took both kids in the disabled loo.
As we came out there was a woman approaching the loos on a crutch. She hadn't been waiting - she was just approaching as we exited. She told me, sharply, that I shouldn't have used that loo, the baby changing wasn't in there. I said I knew that, we hadn't needed to use it, just wanted a bigger cubicle so as not to leave the baby outside. She replied it didn't make any difference as none of us was disabled.
Was I BU to use the disabled loo?

OP posts:
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5
Babymamamama · 29/03/2015 15:24

I used to prop the door slightly open to use regular loo when my dd was in pushchair. I could keep an eye her if loo was too small to wheel her in. I figured its a ladies so nobody would be offended. And they weren't. Didnt want to offend any disabled person by using their loo. They don't have the option to use any other loo whereas I do.

redcaryellowcar · 29/03/2015 15:25

Yanbu, I use disabled toilets if with ds1&2 alone as I'm fairly certain it would be someone else getting irate that I'd left the baby outside in the pushchair! I agree that these are accessible toilets and if the alternatives are not pushchair accessible then I can't use them. I would however always allow someone else to go ahead of me should they need to? In many smaller cafes etc there is just one accessible toilet for everyone to use.

Hobby2014 · 29/03/2015 15:25

I don't think you were being unreasonable OP.

To those who think she was unreasonable - where should she have gone? Genuine question. I know I can't fit myself and pram into a normal toilet cubicle. And I wouldn't leave pram by the sinks whilst I went into a closed cubicle. Most changing areas I go to are just a row of changing tables or just a room with a changing table and sink in.
I have been in a few lovely ones though which is a giant cubicle, change table, loo and sink which is lovely.

Samcro · 29/03/2015 15:29

yabu
your not disabled
your child isn't

hazeyjane · 29/03/2015 15:31

Hobby, sorry to repeat my earlier post....

You can take all the children in with you (yes baby too!)

You can leave the baby outside in the ram with door ajar

You can ask someone to keep an eye on the baby

You could ask your dd to keep an eye on the baby

What would people do if there was no disabled toilet there? Do this!

LikeIcan · 29/03/2015 15:32

Yanbu.

I'd have done the same.
Don't worry about it.

TheReluctantCountess · 29/03/2015 15:35

You were not being unreasonable.

Dawndonnaagain · 29/03/2015 15:37

One day people will comprehend that accessible toilet means accessible for those with disabilities, not accessible for all.

RachelWatts · 29/03/2015 15:40

The last time I tried to ask someone to watch DS2 while I went in a cubicle which the pram wouldn't fit into, she refused and told me I should be using the disabled toilet...

MythicalKings · 29/03/2015 15:40

It's unfortunate that so often the accessible toilet is the only one with a changing table so people have no choice about using them.

In this case I think the OP WBU because there were other toilets available. The 6 year old could have watched the pram and would have been fine going to the toilet by herself.

TheFairyCaravan · 29/03/2015 15:43

One day people will comprehend that accessible toilet means accessible for those with disabilities, not accessible for all.

I think that day is a long way off Dawn. Sad

hazeyjane · 29/03/2015 15:45

I used to take the dds out of the buggy, if we couldn't fit, or leave the door ajar depending on the design.

BigRedBall · 29/03/2015 15:46

Yanbu! I'd do it and I have done it in the past.

No way would I leave my baby in a pushchair with a stranger whilst I used the toilet. I also wouldn't leave my 7 year old and 3 year old to keep an eye on the pushchair...who the hell is supposed to keep an eye on them then?!

Just forget about it OP and if it's free, be free to use the disabled toilets whenever you wish.

ginmakesitallok · 29/03/2015 15:47

Ywnbu.

Zadkiel · 29/03/2015 15:48

Its pretty straightforward to me.

None of you are disabled therefore a disabled loo isnt a facility available to you. Not here or anywhere.

You should have used the baby change to change the baby.

The rest of you should have used the toilets for non - disabled.

TheFairyCaravan · 29/03/2015 15:49

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Littlemisssunshine75 · 29/03/2015 15:52

We do this. I am not prepared to leave either my son or my baby daughter outside a toilet cubicle on their own. I don't understand what the problem is if it wasn't being used.
I'm in Belgium, and quite often the baby changing table is in the disabled loo. YWNBU Smile

Dawndonnaagain · 29/03/2015 15:53

I'd have done the same.
Don't worry about it.

Were you the woman who smugly came out of the disabled loos the other day stating (without having been spoken to) 'It's accessible, we can all use it', because if you were, my friend was downstairs in that M&S branch, grabbing clean knickers and trousers for me, I'd shit myself waiting. Cost me £25 quid. Unfortunately it was the third time that day, I usually have enough spare clothes because now and then a disabled person is using the loo, but that's actually quite rare.

OhMjh · 29/03/2015 15:58

Mottisfont abbey by any chance?

I don't think you were BU. If there was nobody waiting, and it would have been a genuine struggle to use the baby changing facilities in the main area along with taking DC1 to the loo, it's fine in my mind. but then I am that awful mother to a 4 month old who will use a disabled loo if her nappy needs changing as a matter of urgency and there isn't a baby changing facility near by

Pat1ence · 29/03/2015 15:58

Yabu. I suppose you park in disabled parking bays because they're empty and you'll "only be a minute" too.

Biscetti · 29/03/2015 16:02

I wouldn't dream of parking in a disabled space. However, with a small child + baby in a pram, using an accessible loo is perfectly acceptable.

TheFairyCaravan · 29/03/2015 16:02

It doesn't matter that there wasn't anybody waiting. It was an accessible toilet, it was not for the OP's use. She could have made someone have an accident because of her selfishness.

flashfalshflash · 29/03/2015 16:03

What the hell is the point of this?

Don't post on internet sites, contact your MP or campaign with a charity or other pressure group if you feel strongly about this issue. You know, something that might actually bring about a change.

Swearing on a website achieves absolutely nothing.

Zadkiel · 29/03/2015 16:04

That's your choice little miss sunshine. You need to think about how you are going to go to the loo when you are out with them, because an accessible loo isnt a facility available to you.

Read Dawndonna's post and put yourself in her shoes, and maybe you'll see it differently.

TheFairyCaravan · 29/03/2015 16:04

Biscetti Accessible doesn't mean what you think it means.

Accessibility refers to the design of products, devices, services, or environments for people with disabilities

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