To be tiring of DPs daughter acting spoilt EVERY time we go out?

[secondchanceathappiness]

DP & I try to do nice stuff with his 2 dc & my 2 dc. Every time we go out his dd (8) acts spoilt e.g won't join in, won't eat same as everyone else, sits with sulky face on for hours. It's really irritating me & one of my children (older - so realises what's going on) is beginning to say they don't want to come along because they know what dd is like. He does really well & doesn't give in, but this usually leads to massive stand off which spoils it for everyone. Aibu? Any tips on how to manage this? I can't bear to see him being manipulated like this!

You need to find out why she's acting like this before you can do anything about it. Has anybody tried talking to her?

DP needs to handle it.

Expect a roasting OP.

Have you asked her what the issue is? Does she ever have a say in the activities you do as a family?

What are the ages of all the kids?

How long has she known you and yours?

Do you think she spends enough one on one time with her Dad?

He needs to handle it why dont you suggest he takes his children out on his own so he spends time on his own with them i know you want to be a blended happy family but sounds like the little girl is craving attention any attention from her dad is better than nothing

Get DP to take his dds out on his own and ask them wtf the problem is..

Ok phrased better, but you know what I mean... :)

Maybe she is struggling with the fact her father has a new family now?

Do you and DP and your children live together? In adoption here taking on children older than any preexisting ones is ruled out as it can be very distuptive.
How long have you been together?
Why do you think it is deliberate manipulation rather than being 8 and not feeling she has any input to her relationship to her dad?

*disruptive

How long have you been together and are you living together, with him and your dc? Does he ever see the children alone?

Btw she isn't manipulating her dad she is 8yr old her dad is allowing her to behave like this for whatever reason

She's 8! She's not manipulating anyone. She probably wants time with her dad without her stepmum and stepsiblings in the way.

Surely your problem should be with your DP and not the child?

I agree with others - she probably wants her Dad to herself.

Does his DD live with him full time? Do you and your DC?

Does she get time alone with him or do you all go out?

Any tips on how to manage this?
Try and see things from the perspective of an 8 year old girl whose parents aren't together any more I'd suggest, then take it from there, rather than simply being 'irritated.' You're an adult and can rationalise, she's just a little girl and doesn't have that ability.

Eating out is boring for children. Do you also take her shopping? (also boring). Do some child activities- she isn't a 30 year old woman.

To most children eating food is well.. food. It isnt a past time.

Do your DC live with you?

My parents divorced when I was 8. We visited my Dad every weekend and always did something fun and amazing and of our choosing.

If I had to share that time with 2 DC who got to see my Dad all the time anyway, you can pretty much guarantee I would have acted exactly the same as your DSD.

does he have any idea what's making her unhappy and act this way?
It's lovely that you all do stuff together. How much 1:1 time does she also get with her dad?

any tips on how to manage this?
Yep
Stop seeng her as a manipulative little madam.
She is an 8 yo child whose parents are not together. That is not a enviable position.

try to do nice stuff
What does that mean exactly?
Never underestimate the impact of separation and blended families on children.

How sad.

He the adult is being manipulated?

Why do you think an 8 year old, child is doing this?

Because she is not happy.

You sound awful. If you had said - " his poor DD we try but she doesnt seem happy, I want her to enjoy her time with us, what can we do...." I would have had more sympathy with you.

I had an allergic reaction to a relative I had to see when I was that age, she made me feel bad about myself, I didnt like the way she spoke to me, and even when I thoght, this time, I am going to try and be OK, she would say something or give me a horrid look that made me un happy.
I was 8. I couldnt help it.
You and your DH are adults, grow up. FFS.

She is an 8 yo child whose parents are not together. That is not a enviable position

Your damn right there.

Op you seem to have no sympathy for her at all, and as she irritates you I think you should back out and leave her and her Father alone, and let them do things together.