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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was an overreaction by new neighbours.

288 replies

DancingDays · 28/03/2015 16:55

House next to us has been empty for months. This afternoon I went to collect DDs from a party. When I went out the front door and I saw a removals van, couldnt see alot due to low sun in my eyes and didnt really want to look as they've all their belongings out. While loading DS into car, a man and woman appeared, I stuck my head over the car, said "Hi" they responded with a "Hi" and I drove off.

I return home and huddle DCS into the house as they are very nosey and ask 101 questions, I thought I would ease the new neighbours in gently once they have settled.

After a few minutes back home I hear a knock at the door, its the new neighbour. They have decided I am very rude to not welcome them and I have upset his wife. She's decided it's now a bad neighbourhood and wants to leave. Based on one 5 second interaction and 1/2 hour of me knowing they are there.

I explain I was busy collecting DCs and didnt want to disturb them while they are actually moving in.

He goes on and explains the only option is for me to go and apologise for my rudeness and go and get to know her. He said something along the lines of 'I expected more but that's the minimum acceptable'

He went to leave after my Hmm face and telling him I was busy with DCs but maybe I'll see them soon once things aren't so hectic for both of us. She then appeared at the door step, gave me a look of 'I'm waiting for an apology' then muttered "what's the point, she's left you on the doorstep" and stropped off back to their house.

I know moving is stressful but surely you don't confront your neighbours 'rudeness' within 1/2 hour of arrival.

OP posts:
CoffeeBeanie · 28/03/2015 17:53

My next door neighbour followed the estate agent and me through the house, when I was viewing it for the first time.
We bought the house and really get on now. She is actually very private, I don't know what happened on that day Grin

Your new ndn sound crazy, I'd stay away tbh, to befriend them might mean they'll forever invade your space.

Schoolaroundthecorner · 28/03/2015 17:53

Oh my god, what a nightmare they are going to be!

CaptainSubtext · 28/03/2015 17:53

Erm.

Speechless

BohemianRaptor · 28/03/2015 17:53

Love your DD's idea. 3 DC and 5 dogs you say? This one's gonna run and run. Sorry OP I think you're in for a bumpy ride.

frankie001 · 28/03/2015 17:54

Please send the children round!

JoffreyBaratheon · 28/03/2015 17:55

Our nightmare neighbours moved in 18 months ago and were... problematic litrally from Day 2. And we thought that was quick off the mark! Looks like OP's new neighbours want to control their environment, and boss around everyone round them within an hour or two of landing. Doesn't bode well. Our's also wanted to dictate rules and set the tone to people who have lived 50 odd in one neighbour's case. We weren't having it. They have made our lives hell ever since. Let's just hope Hyacinth Bouquet hates it so much she buggers off quickly in your case. (Mine are council tenants given a dream home they underoccupied from Day 1 so no chance of them ever moving - they'd never get another house as good).

I totally would not apologise. I don't think I'd even engage with it at all, TBH.

VivaLeBeaver · 28/03/2015 17:55

Yes, how old are they?

How long before they're round complaining about noise levels, dogs, etc. poor you.

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 28/03/2015 17:56

Oh, I'm afraid I would have turned into Father Jack - 'Feck off, arse'. That's a proper welcome!

Seriously, I hope they don't turn out too nutty. At least you have a heads up though, my previous neighbours took a couple of years to reveal their true loopyness. Now all my neighbours get is a polite head nod. Did accidentally give one the two fingers whilst waving a few months back, I had the dog lead in hand to be fair. Your neighbours would love me Smile.

Enidblytonrules · 28/03/2015 17:57

how about the mumsnet special? take some crème eggs round as a sweetener!!

BikeRunSki · 28/03/2015 17:59

Did you ask them if they meant to be so rude?

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/03/2015 17:59

Oh wow, they're total weirdos!

Koalafications · 28/03/2015 18:00

Grin if this was posted a few months ago I would have been convinced it was my DB and SIL this is exactly the sort of shit they would pull.

Wolfcub · 28/03/2015 18:00

Oh dear, die start keeping a bonkers neighbour diary now in case you have more trouble later. I'd be polite in a morning wave kind of way but that start would put me right off them time afraid. They are going to love your dog's!

FenellaFellorick · 28/03/2015 18:01

For the love of god do NOT comply. Do not go round there and try to do the required welcome .
The second you do that you identify yourself to them as someone that can push around and make unreasonable demands of.
And i promise you the demands will come and come and come.

When or if your kids can play out
when you cut your grass
how you hang your wadhing out
when you watch tv
Where you park
on and on and on.
The second you obey their batcrap crazy command you are screwed.

MoominKoalaAndMiniMoom · 28/03/2015 18:01

You were a little rude. Take a basket of creme eggs to them and apologise.

ibbydibby · 28/03/2015 18:02

I would call their bluff - call round with something (cake?), tell them what day rubbish/recycling is collected, let them know you can help with any other queries. No mention of previous call. Don't linger, comment that they must have lots to do, and cheerily leave.

Hurr1cane · 28/03/2015 18:03

Wow!!! Well.... Urrm... I don't think I've said more than 4 words to my neighbours and we like it that way, they even invited us to their wedding!

NorahDentressangle · 28/03/2015 18:03

Awww, I feel sorry for the lonely Italian neighbor.

At least wave through the window as you close the blinds.

VodkaJelly · 28/03/2015 18:04

Oh dear, I moved to my new house in September, I have never clapped eyes on my neighbours - the ones that my house is attached to. There is a massive fuck off hedge (theirs) dividing their house and mine and goes round the front so it is impossible to see them if they are leaving the front door.

KingJoffreyFanciesDarylDixon · 28/03/2015 18:05

Ah, just go round now with a lopsided cake, 5 dogs, 3 children and a clipboard.

Ask them questions until late into the night.

FannyFifer · 28/03/2015 18:07

They are clearly quite bonkers.

timeaftertimeagain · 28/03/2015 18:07

Please, please, please do the cake punching thing!

NorahDentressangle · 28/03/2015 18:07

Posters are so proud they have nothing to do with their neighbours.

Are we sposed to congratulate you?

OddFodd · 28/03/2015 18:08

Naked yoga and your DD turning up for a sleepover (with dogs) is definitely the way forward.

Who wouldn't love a neighbour that's so ... sharing?

oneowlgirl · 28/03/2015 18:08

Oh no - doesn't bode well! However for the sake of neighbourly relations, I'd put a new home card through their door & hopefully that'll ease relations. [and then definitely keep them at arms length!]

Good luck Grin