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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this was an overreaction by new neighbours.

288 replies

DancingDays · 28/03/2015 16:55

House next to us has been empty for months. This afternoon I went to collect DDs from a party. When I went out the front door and I saw a removals van, couldnt see alot due to low sun in my eyes and didnt really want to look as they've all their belongings out. While loading DS into car, a man and woman appeared, I stuck my head over the car, said "Hi" they responded with a "Hi" and I drove off.

I return home and huddle DCS into the house as they are very nosey and ask 101 questions, I thought I would ease the new neighbours in gently once they have settled.

After a few minutes back home I hear a knock at the door, its the new neighbour. They have decided I am very rude to not welcome them and I have upset his wife. She's decided it's now a bad neighbourhood and wants to leave. Based on one 5 second interaction and 1/2 hour of me knowing they are there.

I explain I was busy collecting DCs and didnt want to disturb them while they are actually moving in.

He goes on and explains the only option is for me to go and apologise for my rudeness and go and get to know her. He said something along the lines of 'I expected more but that's the minimum acceptable'

He went to leave after my Hmm face and telling him I was busy with DCs but maybe I'll see them soon once things aren't so hectic for both of us. She then appeared at the door step, gave me a look of 'I'm waiting for an apology' then muttered "what's the point, she's left you on the doorstep" and stropped off back to their house.

I know moving is stressful but surely you don't confront your neighbours 'rudeness' within 1/2 hour of arrival.

OP posts:
pictish · 29/03/2015 11:56

I hope it does get you all chatting...and if they turn out to be a horror (probable) then make sure they know you're not a doormat for their pish.
Leave your dd out of it.

Charlie97 · 29/03/2015 11:58

I am actually lol!

The snail thing is just genius, they will be hunting round the garden later looking for a snail to return to DD.

When they do, maybe she could try and call the snail by the name she has given him (Brian?) and when he doesn't respond claim it's not her snail?

AlternativeTentacles · 29/03/2015 12:00

I already love your daughter. What a hoot!

itsnotmeitsyou1 · 29/03/2015 12:08

I don't usually advocate kids telling 'tall tales', however these neighbours fully deserve to be wound up in such a way. The utter rudeness of their first impression deserves no less. Hopefully they will learn a lesson about how they behave around other people, as it always cones back to you. Even if its in the form of Brian the invisible snail.

TalcAndTurnips · 29/03/2015 12:10

I suggest that you should arrange to take place in the street, as a modest neighbourly welcome.

Including the commentary.

passthewineplz · 29/03/2015 13:24

Love the snail story, your DD is fab!

Spermysextowel · 29/03/2015 13:44

I think I'd tell my children to steer clear, rather than involving them with neighbours who seem slightly odd

Chesntoots · 29/03/2015 15:08

I've never, ever wanted children - but I have a feeling I would make an exception for your DD...

It may well break the ice. After all if they were willing to spend time crawling round looking for a snail for a small child, they can't be that bad. It was hopefully moving stress (fingers crossed!!).

honeyroar · 29/03/2015 15:11

The snail bit is OTT, love the card though.

I think if someone had come over ranting about me not coming over I would have said that I was going to come over and say hello once they'd had chance to unpack and settle in, but after this outburst I didn't feel like going anywhere near them full stop. Then shut the door!

I speak to my neighbours, by the way.

HopSkipCrash · 29/03/2015 15:19

Marking place Wink.

Don't appease them in any way at all - this is how it all started with my SIL - wanting apologies for non-wrong-doings and it ended in almost two decades of torture.

I would say keep it light or completely ignore - they are crackers. Though, maybe if you could pm us all your address we could arrange for most of mumsnet to post them a really naff 'welcome to the street' card or drop in with nasty house warming presents!

HopSkipCrash · 29/03/2015 15:35

^^ her address, rather!

reni1 · 29/03/2015 15:46

Op, commiserations. You will become a MN legend, they will provide you with material for several MN classics threads.

Shockers · 29/03/2015 16:21

On the day we moved here, I was suddenly taken ill with violent stomach cramps as I walked across the courtyard in front of ours and our neighbour's house. As she cheerily waved to me, I broke into a run and gave a loud moan.

She looked really nervous the next time I saw her.

Perhaps your DD and her snail will have explained your distraction softened them up.

HopSkipCrash · 29/03/2015 18:07

^^ Nooooo, don't try to soften them up. TABU - don't go there. Ignore, ignore, happy smiles and vacant 'hello's is the way to go.

HopSkipCrash · 29/03/2015 18:33

I meant YANBU Blush

SoleSource · 29/03/2015 19:47

I wouldn't be looking on my heads and knees lookng for a snail. I'd probably look in my garden for a dead, crushed snail, hand it back. Grin

Groovee · 29/03/2015 19:49

Loving your dd asking about the snail.

BMW6 · 29/03/2015 20:10

Well, they are a can short of a six-pack to believe for a second that your DD's pet snail can move that fast......Grin

Your DD will go far in life, OP. I take my hat off to her!

Your new neighbours are utter wankers BTW. Good luck with that, tho I suspect they'll be keeping their distance henceforth in the face of your DD's machinations.

She's made an old middle aged lady vair vair happy.

SunbathingCat · 29/03/2015 20:11

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NotYouNaanBread · 29/03/2015 20:18

I clicked on this thread expecting a mildly dreary unreasonable neighbours thread - no idea I would get the glorious snail! I do think you should print off that picture of the giant snail on the hand to help them identify it (among all the other snails in their house).

FixItUpChappie · 29/03/2015 20:30

How you managed to not kick them off your step I don't know

Wine
JustJanice · 29/03/2015 21:24

I think it's dreadful to encourage your daughter in such nonsense.

Don't be surprised in a few years when her teachers and other adults start remarking on what a tiresome smart arse she's becoming.

UncertainSmile · 29/03/2015 21:31

^ God, there's always fucking one, isn't there.Hmm

2down1togo · 29/03/2015 21:49

Love this - especially the snail!! Grin

misdee · 29/03/2015 22:32

Shame I have packed this beautiful snail away

To think this was an overreaction by new neighbours.