teen fucking dramas!!

[Mintyy]

I mean really and truly, aibu?

If you've never trod on eggshells before, you certainly will when you become owner of a teen.

That is all.

Never see her do GCSE course work or any homework to be honest but apparently she hands it in and is going well. Baffled.

Same here.

I've never seen any evidence of her doing homework. Whenever I ask she says she hasn't got any.

I've checked and checked and checked with school and they say she's up to date and all her teachers say she's doing well so I'm equally baffled.

DS1 (19) has invited his girlfriend for the weekend. So I have washed umpteen clothes, cleaned the loo/bathroom/kitchen/sitting room/ every-bloody-where else.

She is due to arrive in 20 minutes. So DS1 decides that now is the optimum time to have a bath (well, you would, wouldn't you, if you only got up an hour and a half ago). I asked him not to flood the bathroom floor and not to make tea stains on the side of the bath.

Him: "Why are you telling me off? I'm not going to do that. When have I ever done that? I cleaned the conservatory for you! I didn't wash the towels like I promised because I was asleep! The whole house was dirty when I got home! Honestly! I can't do anything without you telling me off! You can't tell me off from way down there!"

Me: "Erm..."

Now he's treating me and ds2 to a lovely disco from his room.

Gotta love the buggers

The eye rolling!! The lying, pointless, pointless lying. Eye rolling gives me the rage. Then followed by "I never". Aaargh. Mine are 12, 13 and 14 and I am peri menopausal
Eldest is writing about his relationship with me for English. He told me he had a good argument for our tablet stand off. He doesn't agree that he needs to study a little before getting on his tablet....... because.....no other 14 years olds have to study....... He has actually written this. Teacher asked 'what does this tell you about your mother?' "She's not fair!!!!!!!"

ffs

Oh god yes Shodan, the blaring music . Why can't they use bloody headphones?

We are regularly assaulted with some "top tune" from the top of the stairs. I like music but I also like my eardrums intact.

I remember a headmaster talking about neurological development in teenagers. He said the expression "not all there" is inappropriate in the contemporary MH lexicon but that, in the case of teenagers, it is literally true.

Dear heaven, I had the argument about the coat with ds last night. We picked him up from the school disco and it was utterly, cuttingly cold. I couldn't even get him to put his hoodie on. He also does the mind bending recounting of who did what to who and you are sunk in a morass of generic pronouns.

He is eight and showing no physical signs of being a teenager.

I am going to suffer, aren't I?

Re Forgotten lunch, I get that at least once a week. DD is 13 and such a ditz at times that even the teachers now call her by the nickname her friends gave her relating to it!

I think I have solved it though, she rang me (again) to tell me she had forgotten her lunch and was starving because she forget to eat breakfast (read: lay in bed until the last second, got dressed at the speed of light and ran out of the house).

"Can you bring my lunch in please?"
"No, I am in Birmingham (an hour away)"
"But I'll starve"
"Yeah, good luck with that!"
"If you'd remembered to sort out parentpay then I could buy lunch!"
"I didnt forget, I chose not to do it, and if you had remembered your lunch we wouldnt be having this conversation"

Obviously it was completely my fault!

We've had a couple of weeks since with no problems, but I dont suppose it will last!

My oompa lumpa informed me the other day when she decides to rebel shes going to be a goth

:o

Not sure what is funnier, the Oompa Lumpa (I have one too) or the rebelling! I love that she has it planned out, I am not sure she quite gets how rebellion works :o

Netflix aye! To he honest it was a fucking depressing read.

Sorry, am on a roll here! Been through teens with one, got one coming to the end of it, one just started and 3 more to get through it with........I think I will be swilling special brew in the gutter by the time DC6 comes out of her teens!

Anyway....eye rolling....AARRGGHHH!!!!!!

DC3 doesnt do it but DC2 did and sometimes still does. Its so rude! Drives me up the wall and honestly I dont know how I havent slapped her eyes out of her fucking head sometimes! Add that with the "Oh here we go again" sighing, and I think I deserve a medal for the fact that she is still alive!

I have come to the conclusion that 18th birthday parties are not to celebrate them being legal adults, but to celebrate the fact that despite being utterly obnoxious for the previous 5 years, their parents have somehow managed to refrain from killing them!

Lucille - please, please tell us the name of your ds's band, so we can practice saying it sarcastically too!

Ds1 and ds2 were fairly OK as teenagers. We had a few fallings out, but nothing too terrible. Then ds3 hit the teenage years and I hit the bottle! We had the mega-tantrums over absolutely nothing, the walking on eggshells so as not to cause a tantrum, the bedroom that is a total tip, the drinking and the smoking.

He's nearly 18 now, and is becoming a lot more civilised. I get hugs, and sometimes I even get a bit of help round the house. He has a girlfriend, and it is really cute - he cooked her a meal on Valentine's day, and put flowers on the table - the whole works.

But there were several years, where I was convinced only one of us would survive to the end of his teens. I remember complaining to my mum - who very sympathetically pointed out that I had had it easy with the first two, so I deserved a bit of a hard time with No3. Thanks mum! >

I have shared this on MN before, but I have an idea that I think I should take on Dragons' Den - the Teenager Barrel™. It is a barrel large enough to contain your teenager - comes in a variety of colours and sizes (WIFI optional). Insert your teenager into the barrel and close the lid. Feed your teenager through the bung hole, and when they get to 18, decide if they are sufficiently civilised to be let out, and if they aren't - just drive in the bung!

Oh yes and the panicked text about a forgotten folder or PE kit that must be dropped in by you immediately or it's disaster.

Cue reorganising my day, locating said thing, driving to the school and parking to get a text saying 'doesn't matter now, sorted'

And no she has no homework, ever!

Eye rolling is not too bad here. She does it, but not to any great extent.

We have The Smirk

She also says "can you not" whenever I ask her to do anything/bollock her.

Fairly innocuous statement on its own, but coupled with The Smirk and I don't know how I haven't knocked her block off

' He has a girlfriend, and it is really cute - he cooked her a meal on Valentine's day, and put flowers on the table - the whole works.'

May I just throw in a little proud mama moment here?

Ds 1 and I were in the supermarket the other day. I told him I had to nip down the 'womens aisle' (aka sanitary items), expecting him to mumble and scarper.

But no. He accompanied me and casually said "I've gone and bought DGirlfriend's stuff for her before. And ice cream."

"I didn't know you liked ice cream now,"says I, in surprise.

"I don't. It was for her. Y'know. Girls. That time of the month. Ice cream."

Luv 'im.

Well I picked up dd and I was very worried about how today went re the bullying from yesterday.
She gets in the car
Me: how was your day?
Dd: K.
Me: Did you get your report?
Dd: No.
Me: Was there any problems today?
Dd: No. Cue lots of eye rolling and glances to her friend in the backseat.
Came into the house and she admitted she ended up in tears but its sorted now. Apparently.
Worse part of the day? Her mascara ran when she cried and she didn't have one to redo it .

These are all making me laugh.

DCs 1 and 2 were horrendous teenagers (but now nice adults) and I've got off lightly with DC3 - the hardest part with him is that fact we seem to be host to "band practice". Band practice is pretty grim. Only the token girl seems to have any musical talent.

DC4 isn't teenage yet but he's already mastered Sulky and Moody - so advanced, and I'm so proud .

My oranges ones once conned me into going to Selfridges to get mac makeup.

Never do this. While I was mentally taking the piss out of the staff who wear belts with various makeup brushes stuck in them and all black domitrix cat suits or whatever they call them. Anyway dds picked up 2 it's each! Just 2.

Got to checkout and it was £152. I actually said 'you are joking' out loud. Cue horrified looks from dds and proud moment here just refused to buy them.

I am such a general push the shock actually shut them up. We went to super drug instead.

Ffs £152 on small bottles. Fuck that.

DS rang me to collect him from school as he had too much stuff to carry. I told him to ring 13yr old DD to see if she wanted a lift. No reply. So I ring her. No reply. So I drive home. Tell DS to text her saying there's been an emergency, ring me. She rings me and goes nuts when I say no emergency but answer your fluffing phone!
She has since arrived home. I made some comment and she half smiled but managed to rescue it by turning it into duck face until I pointed out what she did and she snorted. She had to leave the room to laugh and compose her grumpy face.
She's now dancing the dog. Bloody loon!
She too is orange!
I do feel for her because she sadly has the same sense of humour as her dad and I (dry and self depreciating) and can't not laugh at herself but it's awful when you're trying to strop and your mum makes you laugh.
We have had some hum dingers of arguments though, the most recent being about cleaning the loo.
In answer to a PP, it in no way seems to be directed at the fathers, always mums. Oh well, hopefully we get the rewards when they're older :)

song the smirk is Definatly worse. Like her style though.

Yes how come they have their phones always in their fucking hands but never answer your calls or texts?

Can I have a life and I need a tenner!

bogey did you say dc6!! Here have and and my humble admiration. I thought 4 was hard but am in silent awe.

Lift not life.

Yeah, seemed like a good idea when they were little and cute!

:o

[Puts hand up]

Can I have a life too please? I seem to have misplaced mine!

and I'll take the tenner too if there's one going.....