To wonder why the whole family need a fun day out at outpatients?

[Welshmaenad]

I'm at fracture clinic, on my own (sob!) yet every other patient seems to be accompanied by at least three family members. Not only is the main waiting area packed but as patients are called through they ALL get up and trek into the very limited clinical waiting area. I'm currently standing up because a small boy in plaster has been followed I to clinical waiting by mum, dad, small sibling, baby sibling in pram and someone I presume is Aunt Maud or possibly a middle aged woman they found on the street and dragged along for the party.

Surely one companion is sufficient in all but the most exceptional of circumstances?? What's the appeal of an orthopaedic clinic waiting room when clinic is running an hour late? What is WRONG with these folk?

I was working at a Gynae clinic today. People usually come alone to that!
And to whoever asked about why couples attend GP appointments together; in my experience if you have a young, otherwise fit and healthy couple with no transport/communication issues, it is often regarding infertility

The clinic I was going to, we were all there for the same treatment, absolutely no chance of sudden serious medical new being given. I don't care if people bring lots of others with them, except it does make the clinic too crowded. Luckily when we are actually getting treatment, the nurses chuck out the extra relatives, if it is getting too packed.

But I also remember myself and 4 friends accompanying another friend to A&E for a minor injury. But we were all about 18 years old, and I think over worried about a minor cut that just needed a few stitches.

We did this once, and I actually have no excuse as I cannot remember why we did it!!! Dd age 1.5 had fell and split her head open, so DH, DD8 and DS4 all went to A&E. I wonder if I was maybe afraid of her being in the back of the car alone? We had intended on one of us taking the older kids to the canteen, but discovered a play room in A&E so stayed in there in the end. I don't like bringing well people to A&E if it can be helped, or any appt as waiting rooms are bound to be full of infections, so it really was a one of us for us. My two girls have lots of appts and I always bring them alone.

Hmm. DS1 has a huge number of medical appointments and forcefully resists any examination or treatment. It's very difficult for one person to hold him down, remonstrate, comfort and take in the detail of what the clinician is saying. Plus DS1 often calms down more quickly if the person who comforts him is not the same one who held him down. For this reason, DP and I both go if we can and that usually means bringing DS2. Our standard kit us books, snacks, drinks and iPad. We do what we have to do and sometimes that means visiting hospitals mob-handed.

On our big appointments with DS both my DH and DH attend not because I'm a needy mommy's girl either. DS had complex health needs so we have the first part with him and DH and then he is left out with DM. His LDS would make it impossible for him to ait ans be quiet while we discuss chemo and possible brain and spinal surgery with his Neuro surgeon. For me that's a decision for both parents not being a needy cow.

Taxi when the hospital is 1 hour or 2 hours away from where you live?

The question in the Op was regarding 'Outpatients' a fracture clinic in particular .... I've seen it myself when patients themselves can't get a seat because of hoards of family with one patient. Kids crawling over seats. Fair enough if someone has no childcare but if there's a few adults along on the 'outing' surely it would make sense for them to do that.

Our hospital is so difficult to park near, dh had to drive me and dd to A&E when she had an allergic reaction. He dropped us off so we could run in then went to find somewhere to park. We had to bring my other dd because it was evening and I didn't want to leave her home alone. He could have gone home and come back to get us I guess, but we didn't know how long we would be and I was in a bit of a panic, so he just stayed.

I think that's a reasonable reason for the whole family being there.

Or my personal favourite going for my GD while pregnant.Was stipulated no partners or children allowed as there was no space.A few women brought partners.Why.

Also when pregnant waiting in the clinic all the partners taking up all the chairs.All the pregnant women left standing.
Except we had one great nurse used to come in and move all non pregnant peoople off the chairs.She was great.

Was stipulated no partners or children allowed as there was no space.A few women brought partners.Why?

Off the top of my head

• language difficulties, translation needed
• mobility issues (sight-impaired etc.) and companion needed
• hearing problem, extra pair of ears and familiar voice needed
• nerves, depression, mental health issues, extra support needed

We are not all the same

All valid reasons Marvellous but why do those partners have to hog all the chairs?
I had exactly the same thing at every clinic I went to when pg. With DC3 I had SPD and also had to be monitored for growth as well as a possible pg related liver problem. I had to have weekly scans and go on the monitor three times a week for the last 10 weeks of pregnancy.
The clinic was always busy and there were so many times when I had to stand, on crutches because people's support partners and children were sitting down. Often they had their partner go in for the appointment while someone else sat and waited with the children. They could have sat and waited in the cafe, on a bench in the hospital grounds or in the town centre 10 mins away.
I would have preferred to have someone with me but had to prioritise my other DC being looked after over my own needs.

The same with people in the ultrasound department. Despite numerous leaflets, signs up in the scanning room about not everyone having good news and reminders from the sonographer. Still while I was waiting (on my own again because DH wasn't in the country and I didn't want to bring DC so my Mum stayed with them) to find out if I was miscarrying there were groups of people whooping, cheering, celebrating their boy/girl news. Great for them, it didn't do me any favours though.
No-one is saying people in genuine need should be denied support just that that person/people should be considerate to the needs of the people around them not just the person they are supporting.

Just had this experience on Monday evening. Dh took me into a and e with excruciating stomach pains. Waiting room packed with extended families, no seats left, kids running round and round the chairs. I ended up slumped on the floor being sick into one of those cardboard bowls. My dh said it was like I was the evenings entertainment, the majority were sitting eating crisps and staring at me. Absolutely horrendous, I'm sure not every patient needed 3+ adults with them.

Yanbu, i have thought this many times. It is beyond stupid when half the extended family turn up.

Fair enough, sometimes it is unavoidable to bring several children along as both parents need to attend or only one parent is available and cant leave siblings alone. Perhaps occasionally there is a language barrier too.

What pisses me off is when there are several adults within a group, why they aren't entertaining kids elsewhere is beyond me!

Some people will come along on here with all sorts of excuses and potential reasons why 652700000 people need to tag along, but i think in most cases there is no reason at all, some people are just bloody daft!

YANBU, I had an argument with MIL over this,DS had to go to hospital when DD was about a week old, the hospital is an hours drive away, near my parents and I don't drive so needed my Dad to drive us and didnt want to be away from DD that long so we took her with us, he dropped me off and took DD to sit in the coffee shop while I took DS to his appointment, then we went and found them once we were done, which all seemed very sensible to me but no, MIL was horrified that DH hadnt taken the day off work to come with us and we hadn't invited her and how could I let Dad and DD wander off and have fun whilst poor DS was in hospital!

DS was in hospital for a final check up, nothing serious, scary or painful.

When I was pregnant, one appointment day was so busy that all the seats were taken. Only a lot of them were being sat on by the Dad's and several pregnant women (the patients!) had to stand! I thought that was terrible, and yes of course the women should have asked for a seat but I do think the staff should have made the non pregnant people get up.

So there was me heavily pregnant, dp, ex plus baby and my five year old dd all milling about in x-Ray dept

That sort of thing is perfectly understandable. But the thing is, once you're all there together, you don't all need to be in the actual treatment room, or the waiting room for treatment. You can sort yourselves out so it's just the patient & one other person, if that person is needed for support.

A grown adult with no other needs than treatment really does not need anyone else there. People need to grow up a bit, clearly.

All valid reasons Marvellous but why do those partners have to hog all the chairs?

No, they don't, you're quite right about that, and it's rude if they do. There may of course be the occasional partner who has medical needs of their own that makes standing an issue.

Why does it matter if people's families come to the hospital?

The answer is in so many posts. I suggest you read them. When you're a patient, and waiting for treatment, sometimes you need to sit down. Sometimes you're exhausted, in pain, fearful of what's about to happen. Sometimes you'd like to sit down. Maybe even in peace & quiet.

So no, posters on this thread telling of experiences where they couldn't sit down, rest or recover in peace because of other people's selfishness are not mean. Not at all.

Sorry to sound like an old record. Signs up saying no more than one attendee per patient? Is it that difficult?

The clinic I attended weekly for 18 months had such a sign. Clearly, people took no notice. Selfish arses, mostly.

Unless their literacy skills were on a par with their manners.

I was sitting next to a family of 2 children, 2 parents and Granny the other day. The Dad was having a blood test while the kids ran riot.
The Dad then wanted the Receptionist to stamp their parking ticket for free parking as a Granny had a disabled badge. I wasn't listening deliberately (honest) but it emerged that they had only brought Granny due to her disabled badge getting them free parking. The Receptionist wasn't budging though and refused to do it as a Granny wasn't a patient or visitor.
Man was going nuts " we wouldn't have brought her if we had known!!!!"
Poor granny was pretty out of it and had no idea where she was.

The thing about signs is, they are aimed at the minority of the population who need them. Most people are decent and socially aware enough not to put their feet on the seats on a train, or bring 8 relatives into a hospital waiting room, or bellow into their mobile phones or whatever it is. The problem is that the people who need the signs are the least likely to notice or comply with them.

I work in healthcare and have had to ask people (politely) to not play music out loud on their phones, or let their children run wild, or use their phones to take photos in a waiting area. Signs up about all of the above, but they still needed telling. Some people behave as if they in their own front room at all times.

signs are there to be ignored, evidently. Unless and until a staff member comes along with sufficient real or projected authority to make them move. but staff are already overworked on the other side of the door from the waiting room, popping out like a nursery teacher to make sure everyone is minding their manners is not what we are paying them for. So all these comers along just sit their on their arses while actual patients are left standing, or left to sit on the floor. And poor Lucymill! That is horrendous! Fair enough, some few of them will have their own infirmities requiring a seat. But most do not.

Thanks mom
I nearly wept with relief when they admitted me, I had such a fear I'd be told to go back and wait in the picnic area!
Was kept in after surgery for two nights and have to say how lovely all the staff were. Absolute angels. It was a shame when I was on the ward the same situation happened with the extended family, partners, parents, cousins, best friends. This is for adults too, I see no need for an adult to have more than 2 visitors at a time. And no way should they be using the patient toilet!
I requested nobody came in to see me as all I wanted to do was sleep uninterrupted

My DH comes to quite a few GP apps with me. We are going through fertility treatment and he has to attend certain apps when they are related to him, I'd imagine that's the reason for a lot of young partners attending.
I've had a couple of hospital apps recently, the first one I had my DH with me as it involved a painful procedure I was awake for, and the hospital asked for me to bring someone with me as I wasn't allowed to leave on my own. The next app I took my mum and gran with me-it was a late evening US app in an empty department. They waited outside for me. I don't care if someone thinks I'm childish or haven't grown up because I needed some support, I received bad news and needed that support at that moment, and my DH wasn't able to go with me so they volunteered to be with me instead.

perhaps more signs are needed to ask non patients to be considerate of patients and to move or vacate W R if patients need to be seated.

I think if I was needing a seat as a patient I would ask the staff to help.