To wonder why the whole family need a fun day out at outpatients?

[Welshmaenad]

I'm at fracture clinic, on my own (sob!) yet every other patient seems to be accompanied by at least three family members. Not only is the main waiting area packed but as patients are called through they ALL get up and trek into the very limited clinical waiting area. I'm currently standing up because a small boy in plaster has been followed I to clinical waiting by mum, dad, small sibling, baby sibling in pram and someone I presume is Aunt Maud or possibly a middle aged woman they found on the street and dragged along for the party.

Surely one companion is sufficient in all but the most exceptional of circumstances?? What's the appeal of an orthopaedic clinic waiting room when clinic is running an hour late? What is WRONG with these folk?

Some on now coming on the thread giving reasons why they come in groups. Some like Caff have valid reason sothers less so

You wouldnt go to a cafe with a group of 5 people and order one coffee would you (and take up 5 seats)

And the Supermarket - I take children because it's educational and it's good for them to be involved in shopping, budgeting, working out the cost, writing the list and working out what's needed. Children have as much right to be in the shop as you have!!

Why do you get to decide whose reasons are valid, Hillingdon?

Hillingdon that is a ridiculous comparison-buying a coffee tends not to be as important or emotive as a hospital trip or appointment

Neighbour of mine has ds with asthma which when he was younger usually had him needing nebulising in hospital a couple of times per year. Whenever this happened it was always 2, 3, or 4 in the morning, they would telephone the inlaws to come over and sit with their other ds, whilst they both went to hospital, and the inevitable to and froing of the cars used to wake up most of the street! Both parents can drive so never understood why one of em didn't take him alone and the other parent stay at home with the other child and spare the inlaws the middle of the night calls and then both parents being exhausted next day

If it's any consolation, I really hope we're not going to see the inside of Northampton general hospital critical care any time soon!

I am sure you won't Caff - of course you could take all kids to the supermarket as it's educational (only joking!) I always see lots of kids with their list budgeting for the next meal....

For every group of people that are present in your medical waiting room/clinic/A&E/hospital cafe/car park apparently just to take up space and rub you up the wrong way, there will be the group of people that have received terrible news one way or another. Your experience in the waiting room could be worlds apart. Think about it.

I would always avoid going to hospital with dcs and fortunately it rarely happened.

Nobody's saying that mum and dad and siblings should'nt be there.
It's when gran and grandad tags along as well that's the problem.

There are some families I've noticed, where the woman is quite needy and will have always have her mother there as well as her husband.
Th
What's that all about?
Surely you should have flown the nest by the time you're married and shouldn't want mummy with you 24/7?

You see it on One Born Every minute.
I can understand if the woman is single - wanting her mother there, or if her husband is away at the time.
But don't get it otherwise. I always feel so sorry for the husbands. They are always stood there like lemons while their MIL bosses them around.

I am a hospital doctor. Most people, to be fair, turn up with only one family member, but one particular lady I once saw in clinic a long time ago stands out in my memory. She had brought with her her husband, all brothers and sisters with their spouses, all of her children with their spouses and her grandchildren. There must have been about twenty people crammed into the consulting room.

Not only that, but she had dressed up to the nines (think what you might wear to a wedding), including peacock blue eyeshadow drawn very carefully in a thick ring around each eye. I probably sound awful, but myself and the clinic nurse were trying so hard not to laugh, we couldn't look at each other. We couldn't stop laughing for about ten minutes after they all left the room.........the rest of the patients were not best impressed we were running so late. She was a lovely lady though, I felt really mean.

We had that tettible news and we were lucky with the outcome. Still don't feel guilty my family came to hospital. My youngest son was critically ill.

What -so if your God forbid are the family with bad news it's ok to have noisy families with tired kids and no where for you to sit. And I am thinking about it!

When ds2 had to go to a &he, there were a couple of kids who had extended families with them. Did they give up their seats to patients? Did they bollocks. Hours of waiting, and DS only got a sit down on my lap when a 15 year old lad with his lip hanging off gave up his seat.

Well you aren't thinking about it, this bad feeling is surely based on them having an inferior reason for being there than yours, how on earth can you call that ?

I understand there are inevitable times that both parents need to be there, so all the kids must go. Or all the kids must go with the obe available parent. I sympathise with people who must care for both their parents and their children and have to take one set along to the others appointments. Sometimes life is hard and complex. And translation is a very real need.

BUT: there are numbers that are just not justifiable to be cluttering up a non-a&E waiting room. Especially if it means actual patients cannot sit down in the seats meant for them.

OhWot - according to What that's ok. How do you know what is wrong with them....

Well, when you are stuck there for a couple of hours people talk - normally about what is wrong with the injured party. You also hear them talking about why they are there - it's a smallish waiting area.

That is how I know!

It clearly is a big issue for most people, some though will have their own reasons for not agreeing.

"So DH has to drive me, and the DC all have to come too .." Taxi?

Or drop off and phone when ready to be collected. It's not as though going to a and e is a 5 minute job.

The taxi idea is a good one but there will be some thinking, why should I fund a taxi, partner will have to take me and of course we cannot leave the children.

I wish I could live in your world Hillington everything so black and white, endless money for taxis, having enough self control and faith in your partner not to want to have an input into medical decisions of your children, driving being possible for everybody, your opinion being so perfect.
If only you had put so much effort into righting these wrongs when you were in a position for it to make a real difference to yourself sitting on the floor in a waiting room.
Maybe we should just ask for the extended family and friends who are offering no physical or emotional support to wait elsewhere, like at home?

takemeup I had my mum at one of the scans my OH couldn't make, and she was at the birth too. Sorry if that offends you so much, frankly I was 19, being induced for pre-eclampsia and terrified, OH was scared and I felt much better knowing that my mum was there. OH said he was so glad she was there as she kept making sure he was ok, understanding what the midwives were saying and wasn't about to faint.

Sorry we're not all birth superheroes.

Last time I went to fracture clinic (alone as I left DH and baby in the car park in true MN approved fashion!) there was a young man there in his early 20s. When his name was called, five blokes stood up and moved off with him to the treatment room. Just as I was thinking 'aww diddums' I realised he was actually handcuffed to the guy on his right and the other three were also wearing prison guard uniforms!

Depends I have had to take all the madthings to a&e when one has Hury themselves if dp is st work.

Ditto if I can't get childcare for my own dermatology appointments, would rather not but needs must.

Next week ds2 had a gastroentology app, we have arranged childcare for the other four. Dp and I are both going and mu mum.is also coming. She has never come before but ds2 has been ill for a while, we are very concerned and the hospital are thinking chrohns or other serious conditions having ruled out leukemia. He has dropped from the 90% to the 2% and is clearly not wrll. My mum is a nurse so her medical understanding may prove useful, plus we feel we need the support.

You have no idea why people may need extra support, ds2 has asc as well and will struggle with the app so we need help with that. Outwardly other than looking pale and skinny he looks fine and he presents as 'normal' but I know it may be hard so have got the extra support arranged.

DP had a day op a couple of years ago. It was like a conveyor belt everyone for morning surgery (same op) was in the same waiting room plus a driver as none of them could drive after. One group was most entertaining! The patient was a young man (about 25) who looked a complete wimp, plus his girlfriend - all cleavage, tattoos and dyed hair who was swooning all over him like he was a returning war hero, and his mother (Hyacinth Bouquet) who had brought him books, and magazines and a kindle, and a tablet (not the medicinal kind) and kept chasing the nurses for updates on times "we are private you know" and kept fussing him like he was 5. the hysterical part was these two women clearly could not abide each other, but were fighting over the patient like two dogs with a bone.

Entertained me for hours!