To wonder why the whole family need a fun day out at outpatients?

[Welshmaenad]

I'm at fracture clinic, on my own (sob!) yet every other patient seems to be accompanied by at least three family members. Not only is the main waiting area packed but as patients are called through they ALL get up and trek into the very limited clinical waiting area. I'm currently standing up because a small boy in plaster has been followed I to clinical waiting by mum, dad, small sibling, baby sibling in pram and someone I presume is Aunt Maud or possibly a middle aged woman they found on the street and dragged along for the party.

Surely one companion is sufficient in all but the most exceptional of circumstances?? What's the appeal of an orthopaedic clinic waiting room when clinic is running an hour late? What is WRONG with these folk?

For those who are saying they have to take partner and dc's as partner drives - tell your partner and DC to wait in the car or in the cafe - they do not need to be taking up seats which are meant for patients!

As someone who has regularly frequented orthopaedics and fracture clinics I cannot tell you how selfish I find people who do not need to be there taking up seats. I have had a full lumbar fusion, and standing whilst relatives sat was AGONY.

It should be one person per patient, no excuses.

I really, really don't get the scan thing. Imagine if you got bad news; would you really want to be coming out of the room looking at the expectant faces of your DM, DMIL, DSis, DCousin and DNeighbour-next-door-but-one before you even had a chance to even think about it yourself? Nope.

I have to take my 2 kids everywhere with me during the day for day appointments as DH obviously works. Dc1 is normally at school. So I've been to plenty of hospital appointments and doctors appointments with a toddler and baby for my aunt. I do always make a joke "sorry it's a family day out" to the doctors when the room is full with a pushchair and children . I hope joking about it makes them less judgemental!

Thank you for the well wishes, I've not only escaped but been discharged so there'll be a spare seat for Auntie Viola next week!

Worst I had was when dd was kept in overnight for observations on the assessment ward. I was trying to get some sleep on a very uncomfy chair. Around midnight in came a little girl (approx 6 yo) with her mother, mother's partner, maternal grandparents, dad, dad's partner and I think they were paternal grandparents. They all stayed until 4am/5am chatting loudly. No chance of sleep for me or their little girl (fortunately my dd slept). The mother also had some medical anxiety issues of her own so any time the little girl needed investigations (x-Rays, blood tests) she had to go on her own...

YANBU OP.

Obviously there are circumstances when both parents plus children have to be there. Several people on the thread have recounted perfectly reasonable, sensible examples of when it might be the only option available.

But I suspect many of these 'family day out at the hospital' types do not fall in the 'sensible and reasonable' categories. As someone else has said, it's quite possibly because there is nothing else really in their lives for them to do. From the various clinics I've had to attend with DC over the years, there is most definitely a certain 'type' of family that does this. (Sorry if that offends anyone, but there is!)

I took MIL to hospital a few weeks ago, on the way out after depositing her in the ward I noticed a sign on the wall of the clinic down the corridor, it said something like 'only the patient and one accompanying friend or family member will be permitted to wait in the waiting room. The room is small and too many people cannot be accommodated. Please do not attend this clinic with more than one accompanying person'
Wonder if it works?

Yanbu it's infuriating. However last night my dh had to go to a&e by ambulance and I was actively encouraged to NOT go with him because of how busy it is. Sounded sensible to me, and I had to look after DS anyway.

I reckon it's because they all want the attention! I bet if you could see their Facebook feed or Instagram it would be "up a & e with ........" #poorme, I love attention, blah blah blah

I was once working in a hospital and had to do a stress test on a footballer, so basically wire him up to a ECG machine and get him to run on a treadmill.

The physio came with him, OK fair enough, the team were paying (private hospital) but another 3 players came 'to watch' and were most miffed when I wouldn't let them in the room.

If you work in hospitals you understand that sometimes mum and dad want to both be in and if there is no one to look after their kids they need to come too, particularly if you are at a large centre a couple of (or 6) hours drive from home, or that single parents may bring another 4 kids with them in the summer holidays, but OP I'm with you on the family day out.

Yanbu this does my swede in.

If only one parent drives then send the kid to the drs with that parent! No need for all of you to be there. Hospitals and drs are full of very sick people who don't need you marauding children being brats around the place because theyre bored!

Oh and if you see someone in an aisle of seats who clearly has mobility issues (ie me with my crutches) don't park your buggy in the way then get huffy when I ask you to move it because I can't clamber over it and the hundreds of bags you've brought with you

And for the love of bejesus don't give your kids keys to play with

I used to work for CAMHS. We used to have a couple of families who all came together when there was no reason for more than one person to come and they would tell us when claiming their money back for travelling that it was a great way to get a free day out for the family.

We tried to put a stop to it but they'd say they were scared to travel alone and needed to all come together!

Ah, I did hear someone mention getting a 'slip' to claim travel expenses (adult accompanied by three other adults). It's never occurred to me that I could or should claim back my travel costs to an appointment I needed.

I don't get this either but wonder if part of it is a generational thing? dS2 had to go to A&E 20 miles away one night last week so I drove him and DH stayed at home to look after DS1. Both sets of grandparents were horrified that DH had stayed at home and that we had not contacted them so he could leave DS1. Our view was we knew it wasn't life-threatening so only one of us needed to go.

Same at my local large regional hospital. Oncology waiting room is like 7th Circle of Hell with all the relatives sat there for the duration whilst the patient and perhaps their DH/DW go in for the consultation. After being diagnosed with cancer I took one look at the waiting room and scarpered down to the local private hospital with my BUPA authorisation. At least there you have the chance of a seat (and a "free" coffee)

YANBU, going to A&E seems to be a family day out.

When I was a child my mum often had to take my grandparents to medical appointments. My nan and grandad wouldn't go without the other, my mum had to go as she was the driver/interpretor/medication dispenser so she had to understand what the doctor's were telling my grandparents and all three of us kids had to go because there was no-one else at home to look after us (During school holidays only obviously). Felt like part of a rabble going anywhere, although I do fondly remember the sweets from my nan's handbag.

UANBU at all! DH thinks a trip to the supermarket is akin to a family day out. Screw that shit. Anything that you do because you have to do it isn't a 'fun' activity.

With my first DH went to all the scans. With my second I think he went the one at 12 weeks. After that I went on my own. My MIL wanted to be at the hospital when both kids were born. I put my foot down. I was having a baby and not providing entertainment.

I forgot to add: Madame That is so very wrong. Its abuse like this that makes me so mad. These people just don't understand that they are sucking the system dry and if it continues much longer there won't be anything left.

YANBU
i was at outpatient clinic yesterday - eye clinic so i accept that maybe another adult is needed for visual/driving purposes.
there was 1 family with grandpa, grandma, mum, dad, toddler (who climbed over the seats while eating wotsits)
1 family with old lady, son - translating as different language and dil sat doing nothing....
1 family with old lady, middle aged lady - and baby cruising the chairs around with juice bottle hanging out of his mouth (and putting his sticky hands on my bag grr)
1 family with young man, wife, baby laying on a mat in the waiting room with buggy parked next to wife...
and a few random people like me sat alone.
only one of the above (the son translating) went into the eye test area or consultation room with the patient - they just sat about eating wotsits etc....
very bizarre.

(meanwhile my kids were at home with dh - and i said i'd get a taxi home if needed after eye drops!)

mmm... people recover better if they have good support (from friends & family). Also more people who hear the instructions about what to afterwards to recover it can be better, because the ill person having to take it all in isn't in a good position to take it all in. It's not so crazy to bring a friend. :)

ragged

Yes, 'A' friend, not the whole family!

The amount of times I've been to A&E to collect a patient and there's been the parents plus a group of 4 or 5 other relatives floating around. It's a family trip apparently. I've got fb friends who actually put their a&e trips on their status on their way in.