Before you post

[lunar1]

Are you aware of the unwritten rules?

Never talk about buying your child a pink toy, unless your child is a boy. Then he absolutely must have something pink and preferably a princess dress to go with it.

Do not make any spelling or grammatical errors. Your OP will be ignored, no matter how important the question until you have accepted your flogging for using to many exclamation marks.

You must have a full understanding of every allergy possible, anything that can contain these allergens and exactly how to treat them.

You must be up to date in all correct terminology and how people may identify themselves, anything less and you are an intolerant bigot.

You will need to LTB within 24 hrs of your op, otherwise you are ignoring advice people have spent time giving you, not to mention damaging your children by not immediately running for the hills without a plan.

You must have enough savings for any possible emergency, otherwise you are irresponsible and should have planned better.

You must have an in depth knowledge of every physical and mental health problem possible and be aware of exactly how to manage each one and how it might affect someone's life.

If you get a flaming you must return to your thread within ten minutes otherwise you have flounced and are ignoring well meaning advice.

Well you're out, OP, you have a number in your nickname, there's another unwritten rule. Off you go back to Netmums

Don't forget that anyone who is rude, aggressive or just plain nasty might have had a bad day and you should just give them a creme egg.

You will be aware that someone will deliberately misread a sentence, get the wrong end of the stick and then have 2 pages of people berating you for something that isn't even the case.

I missed my ending! AIBU to live in a bubble for fear of offending someone? (A bubble with Internet access so I can keep up to date with everything).

Mumsnet won't let you babe change without a number in it now.

Argh! Name change obviously!

Now that you've written them, does that disqualify them from being "unwritten rules"?

My friends say I'm deep.

I have a,number too but I'm banned from netmums for three months so you're stuck with me.

I know, it never occurred to me when I signed up that there may be another Lunar who I have deeply offended.

You must understand that your DH has to be very understanding of your mother, but if it is his mother he must put his foot down.

I love a good 'had to send ds to school in a pink raincoat today'

thread always met with a load of similar 'mine chose to go in a pink coat with his dolls in a pram picking flowers en route'

And yes I can never take anyone seriously with a number in their name

You must be able to make one chicken feed your family for 5 days.

there is an Off button, and a turn off the computer, walk away button.

I seem to have managed it okay!

You must never give your greedy friends money instead of a wedding present. Especially if they request it in poetry format. No matter that the wedding present will sit gathering dust in the attic; the fuckers should be grateful.

We're not all uppity fucks op. 3 of us are lovely

How come you're banned from netmums also banned apparently telling someone that living on the run with there children is a fucking moronic idea because they will be found very easily

I think it's more likely to be that all of the names you thought of had been taken. They used to do culls of old unused names every now and again but they don't do them any more :(

Do I need to leave then? I had no idea about the numbers thing

I called someone stupid. I think a three month ban was very unfair be cause the person I called stupid, was in fact very bloody stupid.

No butterfly, I reckon numbers are so uncool they'll be the cool thing very soon.. Worry you not.

I posted in the spirit of the OP.

Of course you should immediately name change

I dunno, though. Years may be a bit different, I'm not sure.

Op can you change title to 'B4 u post' just in the spirit of the thread....

You must call the police at nearly confrontational occasion.

People who park in blue badge spaces without a blue badge are unspeakable monsters. Although it is a really shitty thing to do imo.

Anyone wonder why all these Frightfully busy and Super Successful types have time to be on here all day lecturing us?