Before you post

[lunar1]

Are you aware of the unwritten rules?

Never talk about buying your child a pink toy, unless your child is a boy. Then he absolutely must have something pink and preferably a princess dress to go with it.

Do not make any spelling or grammatical errors. Your OP will be ignored, no matter how important the question until you have accepted your flogging for using to many exclamation marks.

You must have a full understanding of every allergy possible, anything that can contain these allergens and exactly how to treat them.

You must be up to date in all correct terminology and how people may identify themselves, anything less and you are an intolerant bigot.

You will need to LTB within 24 hrs of your op, otherwise you are ignoring advice people have spent time giving you, not to mention damaging your children by not immediately running for the hills without a plan.

You must have enough savings for any possible emergency, otherwise you are irresponsible and should have planned better.



You must have an in depth knowledge of every physical and mental health problem possible and be aware of exactly how to manage each one and how it might affect someone's life.

If you get a flaming you must return to your thread within ten minutes otherwise you have flounced and are ignoring well meaning advice.

[Christinayangstwistedsister]

You must be a sahm and also a working mother

[Christinayangstwistedsister]

You cannot be a goadyfucker

[taxi4ballet]

If you are asking an AIBU question, all you need to do is to completely ignore the first 178 replies telling you that yes YAB absolutely U, as post 179 will confirm that YANBU in the slightest...

[WayfaringStranger]

"Don't forget that anyone who is rude, aggressive or just plain nasty might have had a bad day and you should just give them a creme egg."

Whenever I feel blue, I think about that post and it cheers me up. Thank you, random poster, whoever you may be for you inadvertently making my day a little brighter.

[ZingNinjaRoll]

do not resurrect zombie threads. please. just don't

[whatsinanamearose]

If you are with a man who has kids from a previous relationship-

YOU are sticking your nose in, getting too involved, stealing the money he could be paying his children and should not be a part of anything to do with maintenance because it is none of your business, you are not entitled to make decisions regarding anything to do with the children and clearly the father should be having his own separate contact without you...

BUT You should be getting involved, getting to know them, you should support them with your income too (otherwise the father is getting a better quality of life) you should be acting as a step-mother and taking responsibility, while making sure that they understand that you are a part of their life and parternal family.

[ZingNinjaRoll]

Don't be a party pooper on a lovely fluffy thread. it's unnecessary and unsociable

[MrsItsNoworNotatAll]

If your friend visits you with her child and the child doesn't want to take their muddy wellies off you must be accepting of this and let said child walk over your new cream carpet with muddy wellies because friendship is much more important than your new carpet.

[whatsinanamearose]

I think you pretty much get flamed whatever stance you take.
This should go on the list too-
If you post in AIBU just for traffic, you are part of the problem.

[StormSwept]

Mumsnet really does have some quality gold posters, this thread is hilarious. I'm genuinely laughing at the taking the rude homeless man home advice.

[ZingNinjaRoll]

remember that family is more important than friends and friends are more important than family.
simultaneously

especially if you start a wedding or similar thread


baby names - some people will HATE the name/s you like. don't get offended, YOU actually asked for our honest opinions.

stop asking why people swear.
we don't fucking know

[ZingNinjaRoll]

if you are a troll be funny, creative and original
otherwise fuck off

[ZingNinjaRoll]

if you are a goady fucker or an uppity fucker - fuck off

(ahhh, that felt really good)

[rumbleinthrjungle]

No one should have dogs at all. Ever. Under any circumstances. You may be allowed to keep a very small stuffed one if it's licenced and securely locked in a double thickness glass case in a very dark basement.

If you MiL burns your house down, attacks the neighbours with sharp sticks and is planning to bbq the children on Saturday, you are obviously a mean witch for objecting or seeing her as anything but lovely. Remember, you will be a MiL too one day.

[MrsPeterQuill]

This thread is very funny

Don't forget also that you are not allowed to actually like people making fuss of you on your birthday or get upset because no one has bothered to get you a card. You will get a rush of posters saying that they haven't had any kind of celebration or acknowledgement since their second birthday and they don't care so therefore why should you and get a grip.

Ditto Mothers Day.

[Only1scoop]

And of course NEVER use 'silly' words for your dc genitals....and never let them either.

Make sure if you have a dd as soon as they can speak they know the difference between their Vulva and Vadge....whoops there I go....

[XLIX]

Don't ever admit to bathing frequently or infrequently, you will be either a dirty slag or a germaphobe.

Never ever start a thread about changing your knickers, bedding or towels. It is possible you will end up in a verbal throw down with hunnybunsxxoo.

Don't under any circumstances state you saw Aunt Maude's ghost last night. You will be told you are untelligent, possibly insane and probably vote UKIP.

[ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba]

Don't ever admit to peeing in the shower, picking your nose and using any devices while sitting on the loo

[Hexiegone]

You must never expect any more than a mumbled 'thanks' and you should be grateful for that for any gift or act of kindness.

[Only1scoop]

And if you ever send or encourage your children to send a thank you card for a gift....then you really....are....truly pathetic.

And obviously have countless hours you could spend at a local food bank and no green credentials to boot.

[haggardoldwitch]

Never admit to booking a holiday that costs more than £20.

[prawnballs]

Never complain about a friend - you are just extremely jealous of them/want to be them and you are not a good friend yourself

[Only1scoop]

Derek

Good to see you.

[prawnballs]

Yay Derek