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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset that the school careers advisor suggest my 14yo son join the army?

133 replies

SushhhhNow · 23/03/2015 17:51

Genuinely interested to know if I'm over reacting.

DS wants to join the police force. He had been considering going to university before applying, or possibly working after college for a couple of years. However, last week he had an appointment with a careers advisor who said he should think about joining the army first! She told him he'd be more likely to get in with an army background.

TIA

OP posts:
TheFairyCaravan · 24/03/2015 16:52

DeeWe we had a very similar experience with DS1. My MIL told me of he joined the army I would have failed as a mother, totally ignoring the fact her son (my DH) has served 28 years in the RAF! Some of his teachers tried their level best to turn him against the military. My sister was incredibly vocal about it. The only people who actually actively supported him were my parents, which was quite a shock.

Since he has joined up some of the officers in charge have said that we must "be horrified" because he has such good A levels and GCSES, but honestly we're not. He is having a great time, atm. He has learnt how to drive tracked vehicles and vehicles up to 16.5 tonnes, he has earned qualifications and has made plans for a long career. He is really enjoying his life.

LarrytheCucumber · 24/03/2015 16:54

If he's going to get Bs he could do it at level 3, but my experience of it is that it is really a time filler course. It doesn't really prepare them for any particular service and the staff all seemed to be ex forces or Police who were in a cushy billet after they left the services. Unfortunately conversations with others suggest that in our four nearest colleges the picture is the same.
DS (who is 20 and did the course) says he would be better off becoming a PCSO (or even a Special) as a route in.
My other DS wanted to join the Police when he left University in 1996 and even back then they were looking for people over 25 with life experience, so I doubt it is any easier to get in now.
I would be delighted if someone else came along and said their DC had done the course and gone into a public service, but on DS' course very few of them did.

Horsemad · 24/03/2015 17:01

My best friend's DS did the Uniform Service course at college and has now joined the RAF. I'm not sure how much use it was tbh, but he's enjoying himself in the RAF.

Floisme · 24/03/2015 17:13

Op I would urge you to follow it up. Any careers adviser worth their salt would want to know if you're not entirely happy.

bilbodog · 24/03/2015 17:47

check what is required now to join the police force where you are as Thames Valley Police decided 2 years ago that new recruits had to be graduates - it infuriated many 'specials' and PCSOs who had been working to get experience to join the Force and became inelligible overnight. Also not everyone who has been militarily trained is suitable to cross over into the local police.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 24/03/2015 17:51

Horsemad IME that course isn't much use.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 24/03/2015 17:59

Toads - I think it probably depends upon which college is running the particular course. Where we live, there are two colleges running this course - one of them has a higher success rate than the other (with regard to participating students accessing their chosen career, and OFSTED reports, etc or whatever the equivalent is for colleges ).

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 24/03/2015 18:10

SushhhhNow speaking as someone who actually did do the uniformed public services course at college, I would advise your son to avoid it tbh. As LarrytheCucumber said, it's more a time filler course than anything else. It also doesn't actually qualify you to do anything. You still have to go through the same recruitment process and training as everyone who didn't do it.

Also the course isn't really that good. We went on so many trips where we spent the day rock climbing, white water rafting and orientering. Little of the time was actually spent learning about the services themselves. This wasn't just my college either. I've looked online at other people's experiences of it as well as talked to other people who went to different colleges and their experience was pretty much the same.

IME it's not a very well respected course either. If you change your mind about joining the services or if you want to do something else in the mean time if you've failed to get in then employers don't seem to view it in a good light (if they even know what it is at all). I hate this phrase but it's viewed as a bit of a mickey mouse course.

There were quite a few people on my course who were dead set on joining the police however even now about six years later none of them have managed to join.

Unless your son really wants to do this and he can't find anything else he would like to study in the mean time, then I would discourage the public services course tbh and encourage him to do A Levels or even another BTEC. Then try and join the police afterwards.

Stearinlys · 24/03/2015 18:11

I wouldn't want my son in the army. I'd rather the debt. I only have one son. I can't spare him.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 24/03/2015 18:13

I would be delighted if someone else came along and said their DC had done the course and gone into a public service, but on DS' course very few of them did.

That was pretty much my experience too. Except nobody in my class has managed to go into a public service. And from what I can see, it's not through lack of trying either.

ToadsJustFellFromTheSky · 24/03/2015 18:16

Evans my point is is that the course doesn't actually qualify you to do anything. You don't need to do a public service BTEC to join the police or army or any other public service. You still have to go through the same recruitment process and training as everyone else.

LarrytheCucumber · 24/03/2015 19:21

it's viewed as a bit of a mickey mouse course Those are the words I would use to describe it too (and have done in real life). Interesting to hear from someone who has done the course, Toads.
my point is that the course doesn't actually qualify you to do anything. You don't need to do a public service BTEC to join the police or army or any other public service. You still have to go through the same recruitment process and training as everyone else. Totally agree with this.

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 24/03/2015 19:38

As I said earlier, my own daughter did the Uniformed Public Services Course (so am speaking from a modicum of personal experience) and she found it useful, as did several of her peers, who went on to join either the Military Forces, or the Fire Brigade.

As I said, maybe it just depends upon which course you do. Your personal experience was not good, ours was different. Just trying to making a fair comparison Smile

EvansOvalPiesYumYum · 24/03/2015 19:40

maybe it just depends upon which course you do Sorry - that should have read "maybe it depends upon which college you attend for the course"

LarrytheCucumber · 24/03/2015 19:41

Yes, and I am pleased to hear that someone else found it useful.

FryOneFatManic · 24/03/2015 20:39

Floisme
FryOneFatManic I remember that programme too - it sounds like maybe you didn't answer the health question!

Daft thing is, I did add in my deafness! I've been partly deaf since birth and have never shied away from answering health questions about it. Which just makes the whole thing worse.....

Yournotfeckingserious · 25/03/2015 14:59

Forces background here too...
It's funny how I would absolutely hate it if my dc joined up but I happily wave off my dh when he goes away on detachments (I do love him honestly) I feel a bit guilty now.

Horsemad · 25/03/2015 15:16

Smile Your not

annielouisa · 25/03/2015 15:27

OP do you have any paperwork that show's exacrly what was said. As you said before your DS has already shown interest in the army and you tried to dissuade him. Is he trying another route and using the CA as his ally?

TheCraicDealer · 25/03/2015 16:03

My suspicions were the same as annie’s. Sounds like he knows you’re not keen on the idea and wanted to use this conversation where it was mooted as a suggestion and turned it into, “Careers woman says I should do this”.

My DBoyfriend (of four years, but he’s still in barracks so not DP!) is in the RMP. He thinks it’s ok, it’s basically a desk job. He’s been in six years (I think) and has never been deployed overseas. He’s never fired a shot in anger, and when he did do ‘active’ police work it wasn’t particularly dangerous or testing. The vast majority of the crimes occur off-base and are dealt with by the civilian po-po iirc. I’m told if you spend time in Germany you do a lot more policing, but they’re gradually closing those bases down.

He could sign up and do the four years and leave to join the police at 21-22, there are worse plans out there. And if he gets into the RMP they go straight to Lance Corporal after training; he’d be on a starting salary of c.£22,000, as opposed to getting in shedloads of debt. He doesn’t sound like he particularly wants to go to uni, I wouldn’t push him towards that if it wasn’t what he wants. He won’t be enthused enough to work hard and will come out with an average degree (or worse) which he’s paid through the nose for.

financialwizard · 25/03/2015 17:17

Yournotfeckingserious admit it only for control of the remote and the star fishing in bed!!!

Floisme · 25/03/2015 17:18

FryOneFatManic Grin In that case all I can say is, Computers 0 Humans 1

Original poster
SushhhhNow · 25/03/2015 18:20

He's not normally backwards in coming forwards about what he wants, so I'd be surprised if he just used it as an excuse to bring up joining the forces. It is possible though I suppose.

annielouisa He didn't bring home any paper work but he says he had to sign something.

We're not a forces family, but my brother in law was in the army for a few years, and initially he loved it (and DS thinks he's the bee's knees!). It allowed him to do a degree with the OU and he loved the work, until he went to Afghanistan and saw his friend killed. He's out now, but suffers from PTSD.

It's a shame about the uniformed services course. He's so keen on doing it! I'm not sure he'd be interested in doing anything else. I'll broach the subject later and see what else interests him.

OP posts:
Original poster
SushhhhNow · 25/03/2015 18:21

BIL was in the RAF, not the army.

OP posts:
Floisme · 25/03/2015 18:28

Op the thing he signed was probably a record of the discussion. (I don't know what it's called any more as I'm a bit out of touch.) There always used to be a copy for parents too so I would just contact the school or the adviser herself and ask if you can see it - then take it from there.