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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to be upset that the school careers advisor suggest my 14yo son join the army?

133 replies

SushhhhNow · 23/03/2015 17:51

Genuinely interested to know if I'm over reacting.

DS wants to join the police force. He had been considering going to university before applying, or possibly working after college for a couple of years. However, last week he had an appointment with a careers advisor who said he should think about joining the army first! She told him he'd be more likely to get in with an army background.

TIA

OP posts:
Haffdonga · 23/03/2015 17:56

Not quibblling with you. But what exactly is your objection - the army per se as a career option or the fact that the CA was wrong to recommend it as a route to the police or that she apparently suggested your ds doesn't do uni?

FWIW, another good route into the police is volunteering for a year or five as a Special. This he could do either from another job or from uni.

Iseesheep · 23/03/2015 17:59

If your family has an Army background then you'll know she's talking arse. I don't suppose it's too much of a crime for her to point out other options though; no doubt if he's dead set on the Police it won't sway him from that.

Fatstacks · 23/03/2015 17:59

The army will train him in so many ways it will be an asset to any career.
When my ds floated the idea of joining my stomach dropped Smile

Katinkka · 23/03/2015 18:01

I don't blame you for feeling a bit upset but she was doing her job I suppose. It's his choice to make.

ghostyslovesheep · 23/03/2015 18:02

how old is your son?

as a qualified career adviser I can assure you we don't 'tell' people to 'do' anything - we may suggest exploring other career ideas to broaden horizons but we don't direct people into jobs

Was it a teacher acting as 'the careers person' in school?

I would have suggested he explore other uniformed services given the cuts to the Police at present - maybe to hedge his bets given it's not a career you can walk into at 18.

If he's young he has loads of time to consider his options

But the Army isn't a bad idea to explore

ScOffasDyke · 23/03/2015 18:03

My son was told he should become an undertaker! I'd have preferred the army

Greydog · 23/03/2015 18:05

Some 40 odd years ago a friend of mine was advised by a careers person the army would be a good idea - because he was tall, and would make a good guardsman. He didn't join up!

AuntieStella · 23/03/2015 18:05

I think YABU. It's part of the job of careers advisors to look at interests/aptitude so in the round, and make further suggestions. If an advisor just gave out leaflets on how to apply for what a pupil said that day, I'd think the service was distinctly lacking.

If he's really set on one thing, he'll do it regardless of other options being mentioned. If he's changeable (as many teens are) finding out about other careers with sone similar features is exactly right.

ajandjjmum · 23/03/2015 18:05

The army will sometimes sponsor people through uni - maybe she was thinking he could look at that route?

Floisme · 23/03/2015 18:08

It is part of her job to suggest other options.

weebarra · 23/03/2015 18:10

Like ghosty, I'm a qualified careers adviser (though not in England) and I understand that often careers advice is being given by teachers because of government cuts. A good CA should never "tell", our job is to help individuals work out their strengths and to supports their career planning. Maybe get your son to have a look at the My World of Work website.

FluffyMcnuffy · 23/03/2015 18:10

Well she's right, it's far easier to get in the army than the police and (in the current circumstances) there's a far higher prospect for promotion in the army.

The army is also a great way to get lots of (free) qualifications.

So YABU to be so scathing about it.

QuietTiger · 23/03/2015 18:12

Rather than him join the Army for a couple of years, encourage him to go to University and join the Officer Training Corps. (Basically the University equivalent of the TA). There is a certain level of commitment required, in that he'll need to do training nights and training weekends, but there is no call up commitment, and he can resign at any time.

The plus side of this, is that it will a) give him a real insight to what an army career is like before he commits fully and b) will give him something "solid" for his CV, which will benefit his application to the police. He'll also get paid whilst he's training with the OTC, which is always a bonus for students!

Just a thought.

Original poster
SushhhhNow · 23/03/2015 18:13

I think my objection is partly because I'd love him to go to uni (I know, it's not up to me).
But it's also partly because the thought of my DS joining the army when there is so much conflict going on horrifies me. I know there is danger in any job (especially the police force) but the army is another ball game. He can't possibly understand the reality of what he would be signing up for.

I think I'm annoyed too because DS was already attracted to the idea of joining the army, and I've always quite strongly discouraged it. And now he thinks it's the perfect answer to everything!

Hopefully he'll go off the idea before he reaches 18.

OP posts:
CundtBake · 23/03/2015 18:13

I don't think you're being unreasonable at all. I'd be fuming.

Original poster
SushhhhNow · 23/03/2015 18:14

Scathing? I didn't think I'd been scathing at all!

OP posts:
FluffyMcnuffy · 23/03/2015 18:15

Why do you want him to go to uni if he wants to join the police?

Police recruitment do not require a degree they often do require "life experience".

He could go to uni and join as an officer which is a highly respectable job.

Original poster
SushhhhNow · 23/03/2015 18:16

Much prefer that idea QuietTiger.
Will definitely suggest it.

OP posts:
meditrina · 23/03/2015 18:18

"He can't possibly understand the reality of what he would be signing up for."

I think you can set this worry aside. It's covered in detail during the recruitment process, and it really is done in ways that are unmistakeable.

850Pro · 23/03/2015 18:18

whats the problem with joining the army?

Charitybelle · 23/03/2015 18:19

Speaking as someone from a military background, I would be furious. He's still a child. Nobody should advocate a child joining the forces. He can decide for himself ....when he's an adult!

Iseesheep · 23/03/2015 18:19

YABU. Your son won't be signing up to anything at 14. Why not let him explore all the options open to him?

FluffyMcnuffy · 23/03/2015 18:20

I don't think anyone is advocating a child joining the forces Confused

Original poster
SushhhhNow · 23/03/2015 18:22

I just think uni would give him a chance to mature (and get in debt). I'm not dead set on him going to uni. If he'd rather work for a couple of years first that's fine too. He's been told he would be very unlikely to get into the police force at 18 so he's been thinking of doing something else first for a couple of years.

OP posts:
Iseesheep · 23/03/2015 18:23

Charity. The same goes for the Police doesn't it? It's not just reserved for the Forces. Anyway, they don't tend to sign kids up at 14. 'Tis not allowed.

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