AIBU to be upset that the school careers advisor suggest my 14yo son join the army?

[SushhhhNow]

Genuinely interested to know if I'm over reacting.

DS wants to join the police force. He had been considering going to university before applying, or possibly working after college for a couple of years. However, last week he had an appointment with a careers advisor who said he should think about joining the army first! She told him he'd be more likely to get in with an army background.

TIA

FryOneFatManic I remember that programme too - it sounds like maybe you didn't answer the health question! There was another one (I've forgotten the name) that always came up with fish farming....

But I think that's different from a young person asking you about a career idea. No matter how outlandish that idea might have seemed, I would have taken it seriously (even if I suspected they were taking the piss). It doesn't mean you don't make them aware of the barriers - you have to do that - but I don't think anyone has the right to piss on a young person's dreams and ambitions. I'll always remember Noel Gallagher talking about his careers advice.... as you can probably imagine it was very funny and very humbling.

You didn't offend me sunbeam, you are entitled to your opinion.

When DS2 told his careers adviser he wanted to be a nurse they advised him to do an apprenticeship! Fortunately we knew the path he needed to take and he has a place at uni in September.

You can become a nurse via an apprenticeship though TheFairy. DS should have been told ALL the routes into nursing.

When my husband was 16 years old his careers adviser told him that nobody from his school had ever been accepted into Sandhurst and he wouldn't be the first. That dismissive/dissuasive attitude has got him 28 years in the Army, lots of fantastic jobs, wonderful places to live, an under grad degree and 2 post grads. He's highly qualified in his field and thankfully hasn't managed to get himself killed yet.

In short, joining the Forces can be a career with incredible opportunities, albeit with some element of risk. And if you really don't want your son to join up don't push too hard or you could make him more determined. My husband was your son (a long time ago)!

As a Mum I would be privately gutted if my children wanted to join the armed forces, but that's because as their Mum I don't want ever want them to put themselves in danger.

However with my Careers Adviser hat on ( -who knew???! ) I would be impartial and would help them to explore all their options taking into account their interests and strengths. Often young people come with idea already in mind and I would never dismiss them or try to influence their choices.

I'd help them to find out more about themselves and the positive and negative aspects of careers that interest them. I may also suggest other career sectors they could research based on their strengths and interests.

A whole host of other factors influence career choice and a careers adviser should help to enable young people to consider all of these. Ultimately it's their career choice and not anyone else's. It's worth bearing in mind however that parents are proven to be the biggest influence of career choice in young people.

As said by the others qualified Careers Advisers we never tell anyone to do anything so perhaps your son was hearing what he wanted to hear. I'd second a phone call to the Careers Adviser to discuss if you feel this isn't the case.

IME much of the duff career advice out there is given by badly informed teachers and parents with out of date information/views.

Querio yes you can, but they are targeted at HCAs who don't have the qualifications to get on a nursing degree. DS2 has all As and As at GCSE and is predicted AAB at A2, so it wouldn't be the right path for him.

You have to know your stuff inside out and be very, very skilled. it's a bloody hard job - the hardest I've ever had. Why do you think I don't do it anymore?

And increasingly quite often in school situations (mainly England) the careers person isn't actually a qualified careers adviser at all. Often a teacher who has been handed a careers remit. Worth bearing in mind.

DD is 21 and joined the police end of last year. Initially we were told she needed to do a policing degree as this was the only way she would be accepted, so she did that. Then they re-opened the non-degree application process so she applied and was accepted. After completing 20 weeks training she is now out working and just about to take her driving course. If he really wants to join the police, then speak to your local force headquarters about the application process.

I'd be very surprised if a qualified careers adviser advised an A* GCSE student to follow a healthcare apprenticeship path unless the student said that's what they wanted.

I'm actually quite concerned that so many of your children are being given such poor advice. If only the Government would recognise this and put independent advisers back in schools.

I was in the army. Admittedly, possibly one of the best experiences of my life.

If your DS wants to go into policing, getting fully trained with military police and then transitioning into the civilian world might be one of the best ways to do it.

However, for those that are anti-military in principle alone... well, I have nothing to offer.

He didn't say he wanted it Querio' he wasn't even aware of them at the time, nor was I for that matter, we only found out through Google. He has known since he was about 13/14 which uni he has wanted to go to as his first choice and what he wants to do when he qualifies.

Given that the lad had already showed an interest in joining the army (and police - definitely a kid interested in uniformed service) it would have been pretty weird if the military hadn't come up, tbh.

I am lolling a bit at all these impressionable boys who mustn't be allowed to listen to army careers officers though, and the ban them from schools brigade.

I told my parents at 14 that I was joining the military. Bearing in mind that we had never even been on an overseas holiday, ever, and knew no one in the forces at all. This was something of a surprise to them. They came round when they were invited to my graduation ball and witnessed the bizarre spectacle of their wee girl being saluted in the street.

In terms of personal development and skill acquisition, there are worse things he could do.

Horses for courses, and your boy clearly know which direction he is heading in.

EastMidsMummy You are correct, I know plenty. What I am saying is that the British Military are not being sent to anywhere like Iraq/Afghanistan now. Plus we will have practically no armed forces at all after the next tranche of redundancies, add to that the perks and postings have disappeared. In all honesty we will not be able to defend our shores if the time comes.

TheFairyCaravan I'm glad your son has parents like you who can help him find his way. I work in schools where some children get very little parental support and if I made mistakes like that there would be no one to put them right. I'm sorry this was your experience. (Wouldn't have happened on my Watch! )

It's a real concern that there is so much very poor careers advice around. Especially when so many very, very good careers advisers have been made redundant.

I suspect half your objection is that he's already mentioned wanting to to you, and you've put him off.

My ds is 7yo. He's wanted to join the RAF since he was 3yo. Whenever he's said this to anyone I would say about 90% reaction is to turn to me and say some version of "of course you won't let him/will discourage him".

I find that quite depressing really. He's 7yo and has a dream. A dream that is far more possible than a lot of little boys' dream of being a pro footballer.
Yes, it wouldn't be my first choice. Yes, I will worry about him if he does. But no, I don't think it's my choice anyway.

I'd be gutted if the CA had advised my DS to join the Army and we're a military family. I wonder if your DS has mentioned an interest in joining up and they've latched onto that?

If he does continue with this idea, I'd encourage him to get a degree first and then apply.

I'm quite interested that a lot of parents would actively discourage or at the very least mildly put their children off of certain jobs (whatever they are). As far as I am concerned my children can make their own decisions about what job they want to do, and it may well scare the life out of me (fgs my son toyed with the idea of being an ATO) but I am their Mum and I will support their decision.

I'm with you, Financial Wizard. DD expressed an interest in joining the police force first of all, did a 2yr Public Services Course with that aim in mind, then thought about the Army. She ended up doing neither in the end, but we would have supported her in her decision. As you say, they have to make their own choices, that's part of successfully raising them, IMO.

Also, a military career can be a very good one. Not for everyone, admittedly, but my Dad absolutely loved his years in the Army, and learned an excellent trade.

Perhaps, your DS has been wanting to look at the Army, has sensed your disquiet so thought it might sound better if he said the careers advisor suggested it.

Speaking from experience, working in the Armed Forces is great. Loads of opportunities, lots of civilian recognised learning like apprenticeships, NVQs and degrees (and higher), loads of different entry routes with lots of different lengths of service to choose from and scores of different careers, some of which do not place you into direct danger (air cartographer anyone?)

I personally think the RN and RAF are more adult environments but certainly all of them are nothing to be horrified about. I think there is horror when people are not informed well enough (not their fault- the media has a lot to answer for).

I know someone in V. early 20s with a degree from Russell group uni (am I allowed to say that anymore ?) who has just got into the police.

LarryTheCucumber "At least she didn't suggest that he went to the local college and did the Uniformed Public Service course."

That is his current plan. Not a good idea?

Thanks for all the replies. Some very interesting responses. I will just clarify though that I haven't suggested I wouldn't support him if he chose to join the forces, of course I would, he's my son. I just don't want him to!

Just to add, he's predicted mostly B's in his GCSE if that makes a difference to your answer Larry.