Outrageous salad bar behaviour.

[AndyWarholsOrange]

There is a really good salad bar at my work canteen. I went there today and there was a nice looking Greek salad type thing consisting of feta cheese, cucumber chunks, tomatoes and green and black olives.
The woman in front of me stood there for literally ten minutes and meticulously removed all the feta cheese and olives leaving just tomatoes and cucumber chunks into her pot and walked over to the till.
Surely this isn't OK?

That would suit me Eve. I'd eat the pineapple and blueberries, raspberries..... But not the banana .....

You should have taken the tomato and cucumber and sat behind her throwing them at her head intermittently and looked innocent when she turned around.

Hey girl. After a full morning professing I craved some oily, cheesy, crumbly goodness. I didn't think you wanted any and took your staring side eyedness as your way of jealously yet silently imploring me. You did this. I'm not even sorry.

Having worked with academics (professors, doctors, etc) I can say that this is totally normally behaviour for many of these types of people. Totally self centred and believe the world revolves around them. Totally oblivious to the impact of their behaviour on others. Arrogant and rude.

Let it go and make sure you get there before her tomorrow.

Nothing can beat the Family Von Fat we had the misfortune to witness on holiday....immensely obese, all of them, they literally piled plate after plate and gorged themselves every mealtime. They would leave stuff on their plates then just squash it as they piled more plates on top.....it was horrific but mesmerising, you could nt believe what you were seeing.

Their piece de resistance was to lift the entire profiterole dish ( a huge, glass affair similar to what you may find at the Ambassador's dinner party!!) and waddle it over to their table....they then grabbed the profiteroles off by hand, and stuffed them into their mouths, then left, leaving a demolished mess of squashed cream and Choux pastry, a table resembling a zombie attack and a restaurant full of absolutely astounded diners!!!!! 16 years later and I'm still suffering from the effects of what we saw.....

I'd've take the whole profiterole pyramid too...

I was shamed at the last buffet I was at because I let my friend choose.

I'd had a really nice mild chicken curry with a side of mild vegetable curry and rice and had room for a little bit more.

I minded our bags at the table while she went back to get pudding for us.

I said I wanted profiteroles and specified three. She came back with six and had loaded her own plate with melon, a lavish trifle with fresh raspberries and strawberries and six profiteroles.

The profiteroles were horrible. They were stuffed with sickly chocolate buttercream instead of fresh cream and they were unchewable because there was no cream to drown them in.

I ended up leaving them like the person whose eyes are bigger than her belly, while she polished off her whole plate.

If I had my time over again I'd have the trifle.

Fucking hell, she's done it again!!!
Right, lady, the gloves are well and truly off

Get there before her.

Pick up nice big juicy olive
Lick it
Put it back in the bowl

Christ. That is bad.

You need to take with you a naicely laminated sign to pop on the salad cart just for her,

'Oi, yes you, greedy cah with all the feta and Olives! Leave some for the rest of us, this is NOT OK!'

Does the salad bar not stock cucumber and tomato separately? As they are both staple ingredients in a sald. If they do how odd her behaviour was.

Salad not sald oops.

Do you know her name? Anonymously e-Mail her a link to this thread, and then we can say all the stuff you'd get sacked for.

Here's a notice you could make:

"Salad ratio:

• 2 olives
• 3 cubes feta
• 4 quarter slices cucumber
• 2 whole cherry tomatoes

Salad ratios will be checked at till"

How would that rule work nochocolateforlentteacake?

Even if I stuck to most of it - I don't like cucumber but will eat it - I hate olives of any colour and would embrace death rather than allow them to pass my lips.

So should I be forced to take two of them? Would you allow me to leave them on the side of the plate or would you make me eat them? Or would you and your fellow guests let me leave them and then drum me out of the restaurant with rough music?

Also - 4 quarter slices of cucumber - is that one slice? I think I could manage it depending on how thick it was and then only if the rind was peeled off and the watery seeds removed.

The person on the till would tip the bowl out, sort the bits into oiles and count then. of course.

One slice of cucumber cutted into 4.

Them's the rules. I don't make 'em, I just enforce 'em.

You can't mess with the food ratio. Its like when someone decides that they want to try your ice cream on the side of your hot chocolate fudge cake (when they've already said 'oh I cant possibly have a desert), thereby messing your cake- to-ice-cream ratio, so that the cake is less moist than it should be.

nochocolate people who try and taste your dessert deserve bad things in life it's simply not on. A salad isn't a satisfying meal alone for me anyway. Tastes great in a burger though!

Its worse when the waiter brings two spoons for your desert - do I look like I want to share?

But you haven't said what you'd do if I took but left the olives nochocolateforlentteacake.

And with respect, you've ducked the question of the thickness of the cucumber slice and its status vis-a-vis rind and watery seeds.

I'd team up with two earlier PPs who don't like pineapple or bananas in fruit salad.

I love them but hate orange segments and Kiwi fruit. Oranges are revolting stringy, pippy things and Kiwi fruits, though high in Vit C, taste mouldy and feel gritty.

Maybe I should form a FB group to try to match us.

Am I the only person wishing I had her cheek? Salivating over the possibilities...

I ordered a lemon tart with cream to share yesterday lunchtime and very nice it was too.

It's because my friend, who is on a permanent diet, was dithering about ordering pudding (which she really wanted) or a black tea (her penance) - with milk on the side which she was sure to pour in. I knew she would dig into my pie with her teaspoon so just decided to be the adult and get two plates and two dessert spoons.

I ate a bit more than her - but it was MINE .

She didn't realise that the lemon tart was probably made with eggs and lots of sugar and had pastry made with butter and was probably nudging the chocolate fondant that she really wanted for calories.

Cumbers - for an average sized cucumber (diameter of between 3-5cm) a slice of 4mm will be adequate. Big fat ones (dia 5.1cm+) will be 3mm. Cut into quarters.

Are you saying that you'd take the olives but not eat them? Leave them on the plate? Are they black or green?

The cruise ship friend and the lunch friend are one and the same btw.

She got the melon as a penance or possibly a reverse weight gain technique, like how eating celery is supposed to expend more calories that you take in.

I like celery. But only when loaded with roquefort.