Outrageous salad bar behaviour.

[AndyWarholsOrange]

There is a really good salad bar at my work canteen. I went there today and there was a nice looking Greek salad type thing consisting of feta cheese, cucumber chunks, tomatoes and green and black olives.
The woman in front of me stood there for literally ten minutes and meticulously removed all the feta cheese and olives leaving just tomatoes and cucumber chunks into her pot and walked over to the till.
Surely this isn't OK?

You take the olives limited and leave them on your plate- or pass them along to your dining companion.

You Do Not leave them in the salad bar, thus diluting the feta/veg ratio for everyone else.

Simples.

Limited was asking what to do with olives taken but left behind. They cant be put back. The ratio would just be wrong then and everyone would suffer.

She was just going for the expensive stuff. I'd have had to say something, same as when people barricade themselves in with a shopping trolley in the reduced aisle @Tesco to prevent others having a look

nochocolateforlentteacake I would go to the barricades and martyrdom over your cucumber dimensions.

Cucumber slices for sandwiches have to be thin enough to be easily able to see through. In that circumstance I will allow rind and seeds and entire slices.

Get a mandolin or a very sharp knife.

For greek salad they may be 2.5mm thick but shaved nude of rind and de-seeded of watery cack. Tomato watery cacky seeds and chewy skin should also be removed.

I will allow the cucumbers to be cut into quarters but would prefer it if they were cut into sixths or eighths.

Cucumber for tzatziki must always be nude and emasculated and in eighths.

These are my terms. I feel an ideological war coming on between us and am already gathering allies. I suggest you do the same.

Perhaps you and my armies can meet on a neutral picnic field on a really nice Sunday afternoon in July?

PS I like rose wine in summer.

I can't wait to hear what the OP said to GreedyFetaCaaah!

There was a brief fashion for shaving cucumber and aubergine rinds into badger stripes for visual effect.

I went along with it but these days I'd go for the full Hollywood for the cucumber but go for au naturel for aubergines.

Nonononono.

Cucumber in salads - chunky quarters
Cucumbers on sandwiches - wafer thin slices
Tadziki/most o khiar - you grate it, woman!

Where do you stand on crudies?

Pink wine in summer - a must.

Where do you stand on crudies?

Clearly I'd write a stiff letter to the Daily Express about them and nudies.

But if you are talking about crudites, I prefer sticks of carrot and celery. But only if stiff.

I would categorically reject strips of cucumber and in fact, I don't think the structure of cucumber lends itself to vertical cutting at all. Far too floppy. Call me controversial, but I think a stand needs to be made.

I am flexible on the issue of dips but I will invoke my right to the nuclear option on the deployment of hummus. It's revolting and it is not a diet food no matter what people think. Have you seen the amount of olive oil that goes in there?

Halva, though not a dip but something that often presents at parties, will also involve an incident. It is disgusting. Especially the chocolate version. Yak.

I'm glad that we agree on wafer thin slices of cucumber in sandwiches and we might be able to reach detente on tzatiki.

I'm with you on rose wine in summer.

Halva is regurgitated straw or cork matting. It is not food for people. Maybe goats?

I prefer bread sticks to cutted up cucumber/carrots/celery.

Home made hummus is good though. Not too heavy on the garlic.

I was planning to get there dead on 12pm tomorrow and grab all the olives and feta, wait for greedy caah to arrive and wave my tub of goodies under her nose and smirk.
But I would feel guilty because I would be depriving everyone else of feta and olives.
I've no idea who this woman is. I'd say she's early fifties but dresses much older - had a twin set on today. But, somewhat incongruously, she was wearing lime green nail polish. I saw a couple of the Profs nodding at her so think she's some sort of academic.

That is bad salad bar behaviour.

My Parents went on a cruise over Christmas once. There was a Christmas Day seafood buffet.........

...... you can imagine.

What happens to people when they are at a buffet? I am agreedy cow, it has to be said, but even I have limits as to what I will do....

I once (horribly misguidedly) went to an all-inclusive affair. Dear god there is no time to do anything but eat. And people hanging about by the afternoon tea and cake bit when lunch had finished ten minutes before. Staggering.

You take the olives limited and leave them on your plate- or pass them along to your dining companion.

But what do you do if no one wants them SaucyJack?

I eat almost everything except olives, herrings, oysters, beetroot, halva, hummus and tripe.

It's unlikely that the dining companion to my right would also like them. Do you pass them to the left or do an auction?

And sorry, my handbags are too nice to shovel any of that stuff inside.

I used to do this when I worked in a cafe. But I never took ALL the feta and olives, I would leave enough for it not to look suspicious. And I knew I was BU. But feta and olives are divine and tomatoes are hellish

You never want to be at a breakfast buffet on mainland Europe. It is hellish.

Germans barge in and eat everything that is animal based.

Brits complain about the lack of a 'decent cup of tea', make sneaky sandwiches for later, pull our marmite, cereals and made demands for special food for their kids as 'they wont eat forrin food'.

Americans whinge about the small serving plates and lack of decent coffee (ie too strong), and put jam on fried bread.

French turn their noses up at the breads and croissants.

Italians sip their coffee, draw on their cigarettes and look cool.

Japanese politely pick at dry toast.

Really only the Russians have the right idea. Sweet buns and cheese.

So if you're left with the tomato and cucumber in your salad pot, is the till person charging you for Greek salad or just a 'garden salad'?
I think you should take this to the top.

The behaviour of this outrageous woman is likely to link in with the low carb thread!

You can tell her waitrose sells individual feta & olives salad, where she can avoid the glares! (I'm sure other shops too?!)

Failing that, I'm with Moln. Sit close by and lob tomato & cucumber at her!

Failing THAT, I'd raise it with the canteen mgr. I'm sure they're probably left with more tomato & cucumber salad (thinking WTF, we didn't put this on the menu!) than they were ever left with the perfectly proportioned feta salad!

Tomorrow go armed with a whole cucumber, wait for her and then as she goes to start picking, point the cucumber at her menacingly and give her your best, "take one more Olive/Feta, I fucking dare you..."

Watch her back away slowly in horror as you then help yourself to a proper Greek Salad before getting fired

Look its very easy. You just start a scurrilous rumour that the chef does something unspeakable to/into the salad.

I work in a similar setting (not yours as some of the details vary).

We have a new sign "the salad bar is no longer self service". - I bet your professor type person used to work here!!

Mind, ours is mainly iceberg lettuce with some dried out tuna, grated stale cheddar and grated carrot, all in separate bowls, we are not posh enough for feta.

Get the inter hospital bus to the other site - much better salad bar behaviour there I find :-)

Barding I didn't know the inter hospital bus still existed! I haven't been on it for about 10 years.

Tomorrow go armed with a whole cucumber

Whoa! You could get about 12 years for that titsalina

Someone near me was doing a series of one-man armed robberies in post offices and betting shops with what looked like a sawn-off shotgun in a carrier bag.

He was caught escaping by armed fucking bastards from the police and it turned out the bag contained a cucumber.

He was sentenced as if it was a gun because that's what people thought it was.

Tru fact.

Maybe she's in jail. Maybe there was an unfortunate confrontation at the salad bar...olives and feta cheese a flying, cucumbers brandished, cherry tomatoes wedged up nostrils (and other orifices)...