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Original poster

What do you consider is a realistic age for having a last baby?

478 replies

GlitteringJasper · 21/03/2015 23:47

Purely based on your own personal opinion?

What age is the 'cut off' in your mind for someone having their final baby?

Really interested to hear views on this!

Am dithering!

OP posts:
grannytomine · 22/03/2015 19:01

I don't think the baby is the problem, its the teenager when you are in your 50s. Had my last at 39 and didn't feel old at all, 16 years later it was telling, doing the university drop off, 300 miles awa, at 60 was the killer.

PurpleCrazyHorse · 22/03/2015 19:02

I was 30yo when I had DD, working f/t, and pregnancy was a breeze. Maybe it was 50/50 age and luck Grin

I'm 27wks pregnant now with DS and I'm 36yo, currently a SAHM and boy am I grateful for that!! This pregnancy has been quite a bit different but I am already feeling huge and uncomfortable. Baby seems way more active and is lying much lower down, I'm already finding stairs tricky and can't really get off the sofa without a load of effort. Again, I think it's partly my age and partly the luck of the pregnancy draw.

It has put me off a DC3 though, so my cut-off is 36.

fattybumbum33 · 22/03/2015 19:05

Also both my family and dh family have a history of large families and women into their 40's having children hence why we are ok with having children into our 40's too. Family genetics says fertility is on our side. Dh is one of 10! And I'm one of 5, altho dear old dad has another 6 with his new wife!

toptomatoes · 22/03/2015 19:15

My cut-off was 35 and I was fortunate enough to be finished at 33 with DC3 (first at 27). If I hadn't fallen pregnant quickly with DC3, we would have intended to stop trying at 35 but didn't have to confront that deadline so I don't know what would have happened if we had had problems conceiving. I'm 35 now and feel too old for more but that's probably due to the 3 DC and I wouldn't feel so old if I was just starting with DC1 at this age.

Oops1 · 22/03/2015 19:21

Glidingpig exactly. It's so wonderful to have our little dc. I'm so lucky it happened at 46 rather than not at all.

Oops1 · 22/03/2015 19:22

Even though I feel pretty much finished by 7pm every night.

workhouse · 22/03/2015 19:25

I had my first at 39 last at 45, I'm fine, a bit worn out but I don't care, I did lots of stuff when I was young, and now I am using all my remaining energy bringing up 2 DC. With my, admittedly younger, OH. Maybe the kids are missing out a bit on having a young lively Mum, but they benefit in other ways.

drspouse · 22/03/2015 20:30

Gosh, the way you are all talking about your 50s makes it sound like you'll be dead! In his 50s, DH did two degrees, was approved to adopt, lived overseas, and adopted two children. I hope I can cope with a teenager (the other one won't be a teenager till I'm 60, when I'm hoping I might be able to wind down a bit, giving the DCs a bit more time.

MadeInChorley · 22/03/2015 20:45

42 for me. I'm about to turn 40 and had DC1 at 35 and DC2 at 37 (after TTC since 30). I'd like a 3rd, but the odds are extremely long and against me ever conceiving. Its the biological cut off for most and I think I'd be ready to give up hoping by 42 - and it's the answer to the question "what is the meaning of life?" Wink

Dowser · 22/03/2015 20:46

I felt really youthful at 55. Zest for life. Bags of energy. Now 8 years later still have a zest for life just that get up and go has got up and gone.

If I'd had a baby at 46 ...it would have been 17 now. So glad that wasn't an option...although it would have been loved just the same.

glidingpig · 22/03/2015 20:47

Mm, was thinking that - half the 50-somethings I know are doing things like cycling across Europe and launching new businesses - they're not exactly decrepit! I had DD at 26 and found it totally exhausting too.

Phephenson · 22/03/2015 20:52

Gosh, I'm shocked so me one said 35! Many people have not even had their first at that age! Shock

43 I think is reasonable but it has to be on personal experience/your health/finances I guess

Keep going till you get the menopause if it's what you want to do!
blackbirdonthewire she must have been bloody knackered.

JemimaPuddlePop · 22/03/2015 20:59

35 ideally.

We have two so far, and I was 21 and 23 having them. I'm now 28 and we'd like to have another 1, possibly 2 but won't be TTC for a couples of years as we're saving to move first...so we'll be on a tight timescale when we do try!

wearenotinkansas · 22/03/2015 21:00

I'm interested that so many people think they will have a problem with a teenage at 60. My sister has just turned 60, still works full time in a high powered job, cycles everywhere, goes out 4 nights a week etc etc. She is actually legal guardian to my two as she has so much energy! My Dad was /is the same - and I would have been 15 when he was 60.

LarrytheCucumber · 22/03/2015 21:01

I was just short of 43. I am now 63, DS is 20. I agree with the person who said at 60 you want your time to yourself.
I have said this before. I was fine until I hit 50. Being 50 with a seven year old made me exhausted. 60 with a 17 year old, quite a strain. He is unlikely to go to University, so we could have him with us for quite some time to come.
No one can predict how quickly or slowly they will age. There isn't a 'one size fits all' but I think I am more tired than my friends who have no children at home and can please themselves.

ByeByeButterfly · 22/03/2015 21:03

35-40 would be the age I'd personally stop as would probably be too tired to chase after a toddler after that but for someone else would say no more than 45.

minionmadness · 22/03/2015 21:23

Larry I am 50 with two 7 year olds but don't find it exhausting at all. I worked very long hours for many years before they were born and honestly felt more tired back then than I do now. I don't work now though so maybe that makes a difference.

That said I haven't hit the teenage years yet so maybe I'll pay then Grin

SirChenjin · 22/03/2015 21:40

My sister has just turned 60, still works full time in a high powered job, cycles everywhere, goes out 4 nights a week etc etc.

Did she have her own children later in life though? I've found trying to do all that with 3 children very hard (8, 15 and 17) - good on her if she is able to!

LarrytheCucumber · 22/03/2015 21:46

I was teaching full time minion.

maplebaconchips · 22/03/2015 21:53

Oh I really appreciate the encouraging words. I honestly felt I was past my baby making days at 39, perhaps I do have a couple of years left in me!

hazeyjane · 22/03/2015 21:53

I had my first at 37, second at 38 and 3rd at 41, after a long struggle to get pregnant and cancer treatment meaning that i couldn't ttc.

Ds does have issues, a genetic condition, and will need long term care.

But you know, he we have a wonderful life, we are happy, our children are happy. Ill health and disability can happen to anyone at any time. We need to all consider how we will cope and how we feel about health conditions and disability because this stuff is just life.

sconequeen · 22/03/2015 22:25

I am very nearly 51 (how did that happen?) and have an 8 year old and a 4 year old. It's not the way I would have wanted it age-wise (we were ttc for almost 10 years before DC1 finally arrived, and DC2 was very much an unexpected bonus) but I am very taken aback by the number of posters saying that they feel too old/tired in their mid-30s. Perhaps it is something to do with how many children you already have and the age you were when the first arrived? My DSis, whose children have now both left school, reckons that you are well and truly knackered by the time your youngest is 18 regardless of what age you were when he/she was born...

I do get tired sometimes but I think that is due to having two young children, my own business and a DH who is away a lot. I definitely didn't feel too old to look after them when they were babies and I don't feel that way now either. Having said that, I do feel a bit older now that I did just a couple of years ago, and DC2 will not be 18 till I am 64 which is quite a thought. But given the choice of no children or having them at the age I did, having them wins hands down, and we are good parents to them, partly due to the life experience and confidence we have from being older.

silverglitterpisser · 22/03/2015 22:33

When ttc for 2nd child age 37, after having my 1st at 27, I gave myself a cut off of 39 & 3 months as I had a notion that I didn't want to be pregnant in my 40s? Still don't understand the reasons for feeling that way but I did & I would have stopped trying there if I hadn't got pregnant (with twins!) age 39 & 2 months. Phew Grin .
If u r fit & healthy it shouldn't matter, but it is undeniably harder physically the older u get & I have definitely found my joints to b most unforgiving this time around!

jauntynomates · 22/03/2015 23:03

In general, around 45 is what comes to my mind.

Personally, I'd say by the time I'm 30 I want to be done. That's because I've had children younger than I ever expected (2 DCs by mid-20s) and I just don't fancy returning to pregnancy, birth and baby 10 years after having my first. If we can afford to have more we will consider it, at a push I might go early 30s if I really want more, but as it stands I'm looking forward to moving on and growing up with my DCs.

LuluJakey1 · 22/03/2015 23:11

I had first Ds 12 weeks ago at 35 and a half! DH thinks wr shiuld strat trying for second baby now.

Ds is a very easy baby but the thought of two that quickly puts me off. However, if I wait until he is 2 to start trying and it takes a while I could easily be 39. My career will be buggered anyway so am contemplating maybe trying agin in 3 more months and just taking 5 years out.