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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to remove Dd from this nursery?

108 replies

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 12:32

Dd is 3 and has been attending nursery 2 mornings a week for 3 months.
Nursery opens at 8.30am and morning session finishes at 12pm.

Since starting, nursery has suggested that dd come in at 10am while she settles in. This seemed like a good idea but despite me questioning it after 3 months they still want to keep it the same. This would not be too bad but literally every single session that she has attended, they have called me between 45-75 minutes later to collect her saying that she is tired.

To clarify, she never cries when going in and when I collect her after an hour she seems totally fine and happy and not at all tired.

I have asked on the last 4 sessions if they feel that she is not settling in but they say 'no. She is doing fine' and yet they want to stay with this hour long arrangement.

I am effectively paying 7 hrs for 2 hrs childcare.

AIBU to remove her?

OP posts:

Lilicat1013 · 20/03/2015 12:35

I would give them the option to sort it or remove her, that is ridiculous. If she is tired is there not someone she can lie down? Even if they don't have an area for naps most nurseries have cushions and things in the reading corner.

I wouldn't paid for the session if they wont allow her to attend for the full session.

meglet · 20/03/2015 12:35

yanbu. what on earth are they playing at . is there a problem with staff ratios or something?

Quitelikely · 20/03/2015 12:36

I've never heard of something so ridiculous.

Is there more to the story.........

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 20/03/2015 12:36

This is bizarre

Do you need childcare for particular hours or could you just remove? How about suggesting a plan to bring forward the start time by 30 mins each time until you are at the normal session time? I'm not surprised she hasn't settled well if she is always turning up part way through activities

Jennifersrabbit · 20/03/2015 12:36

????

If they think she can only cope with one hour then tell you so, and only charge you for same (is she getting her free hours yet?)

But I would like to understand why they think she isn't coping. Some three year olds don't cope with / don't want to do a three hour nursery session, sure, but most do.

And if no satisfactory answers then yes I think I'd move her, if only because their communication with parents seems a bit rubbish.

Cliffdiver · 20/03/2015 12:37

That sounds very odd. Turn up with her at 8.30 and make it clear that they are not to call you to collect her early unless there is a valid reason.

MrsHathaway · 20/03/2015 12:37

Yanbu but you should give them a chance first. Say "pay 7h for 2h" and ask them to take her for longer or charge less.

Tbh though she would be there so little they might not think it worth their while. They aren't exactly helping her settle in.

Funkytown · 20/03/2015 12:37

why are you still paying them for 7 hours

Joolsy · 20/03/2015 12:38

If she has settled in fine as they say, tell them you'll be dropping her off at 8.30 (or whatever time it is you start paying). Tell them any later will not be convenient for you as you have a commitment on those days. And tell them that when you collect her she is fine, but if she does complain of being tired, there should be somewhere she can go to to lie down. I wouldn't take her out just yet if she seems to like it there. Ridiculous to be ringing you when she's tired

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 12:40

There is honestly no more to it! They literally just say that she is tired.

I don't need childcare as I am at home and she is only there to mix with other children.

I have asked if she is disruptive or similar but they jut say she is tired!

OP posts:

Aeroflotgirl · 20/03/2015 12:41

This is not on at all. You should not be paying for 7 hours childcare and only be getting 2. They can offer no valid explanation for this, when they call you up to tell you to collect her as she is tired, what did they tell you her behaviour was like?

I would arrange a meeting with the nursery manager, and address these issues. If you are still not happy, remove her.

Aeroflotgirl · 20/03/2015 12:42

She is tired, is not a valid explanation. They should be able to deal with that, I would not be accepting that reply. By doing this, they are not helping her settle in at all.

zipzap · 20/03/2015 12:43

Suggest you pay for an hour for her to be there from 10-11 and see how they react...

If it's genuine then they shouldn't mind, particularly as it's just for a short time while she settles in.

If not, why not say that it's not convenient to pick her up when they call or that you'll be there as soon as possible and make it later and later so that you're extending the time.

What would happen if they called you at 10.45, you got there, saw she was fine and said for her to stay as she seems absolutely fine to you?

bumbleymummy · 20/03/2015 12:43

Why are they charging you for 7 hours if you're only using them for 2? That has to stop.

I would probably take her out. There are other places you can take her to mix with children. Or do you want to have some time to yourself as well?

LittleBairn · 20/03/2015 12:44

YANBU. You pay for the hours between 8:30 - 12 I would be demanding they keep her for the full hours. I wouldn't be talking to the nursery nurses in the room I would be taking it up with management.

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 12:45

When I asked why she was only managing an hour when they said she was settled and happy etc, they said something like ' she is doing really well'. Cue huge grin on managers face whilst ushering me and dd out of door halfway through session.

OP posts:

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 12:47

It is a small Montessori nursery with an approx ratio of two staff to 5/6 children. So I speak to manager/owner every session.

OP posts:

Lindy2 · 20/03/2015 12:47

Usually a child will do a couple of settling in sessions which are a bit shorter then start with their normal hours. If she is tired they should still have her there but let her rest, ie do quiet play, look at books, have a lie down or nap. No way should they send her home but still charge you. Do they send every child home who gets tired?

Aeroflotgirl · 20/03/2015 12:47

Yes I would drop dd off at 8.30 tell the manager in no uncertain terms, that they are to keep her until the allocated time, unless she is unwell or distressed and they cannot calm her.

Eva50 · 20/03/2015 12:47

There is no way she is getting tired in an hour at nursery. Perhaps she's bored. I would make an appointment with the manager and sort it out or look for somewhere else for her.

NotNob · 20/03/2015 12:48

Utterly bizarre. Ds' s nursery often report his tiredness on collection but don't demand I collect him early. This is because he frequently wakes at 4:30. No reason to collect him though and I too am a SAHM.

Eva50 · 20/03/2015 12:49

X-post. Just find somewhere else for her. It sounds rubbish!

Ratbagcatbag · 20/03/2015 12:49

This is crazy.

I'm with the ones who'd just drop her off for the session at 8:30.

SylvaniansAtEase · 20/03/2015 12:49

You should have raised this a lot earlier! I'd be arranging a meeting where I presented them with an invoice for all the childcare I'd paid for and not received, and ask them brightly how they planned to make that up, and isn't it time DD started coming full time before they end up owing you a free month or more?

They're taking you for a fool - my guess is that your DD sends them over numbers for her age group and by having her for only a short time, they don't need to have another staff member in for the times she's there. Or something similar.

Perhaps speak to OFSTED too - you've been overcharged for an unreasonable time.

NotNob · 20/03/2015 12:50

Posted too soon. I would definitely consider changing nursery or the very least, a meeting to define expectations.

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