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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

AIBU to remove Dd from this nursery?

108 replies

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 12:32

Dd is 3 and has been attending nursery 2 mornings a week for 3 months.
Nursery opens at 8.30am and morning session finishes at 12pm.

Since starting, nursery has suggested that dd come in at 10am while she settles in. This seemed like a good idea but despite me questioning it after 3 months they still want to keep it the same. This would not be too bad but literally every single session that she has attended, they have called me between 45-75 minutes later to collect her saying that she is tired.

To clarify, she never cries when going in and when I collect her after an hour she seems totally fine and happy and not at all tired.

I have asked on the last 4 sessions if they feel that she is not settling in but they say 'no. She is doing fine' and yet they want to stay with this hour long arrangement.

I am effectively paying 7 hrs for 2 hrs childcare.

AIBU to remove her?

OP posts:

Whereisegg · 20/03/2015 12:52

Eh?!
Just tell them that as of next week she will be attending the hours that you pay for, and that if she is tired, that she can sit in the quiet corner.

They are taking the piss!

PumpkinPie2013 · 20/03/2015 12:56

YANBU - that's ridiculous!

I can understand shorter sessions /later starts at first or if a child is not settling but 3 months in with a child who is happy ? No , they should be taking her for the full session.

My ds is only 15 months but goes to nursery full time as me and DH work - if they rang every time he was tired, he'd never be there!

If your daughter does get tired while there then they should have facilities for her to have a nap or some quiet time.

I would speak to the manager and yell her it's either full sessions or nothing!

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 12:56

I think that I will just remove her. It's obviously not the right place for her.

OP posts:

MrsHathaway · 20/03/2015 12:59

I agree, OP. Bizarre set up!

Whereisegg · 20/03/2015 12:59

X-post.
I would start e-mailing with hours she has actually attended vs hours you have paid for, along with 'tiredness' being the only reason they have for not having her there longer so you have some proof.
I have no idea where you would stand on getting any money back but I would be furious and stopping any direct debit with vague excuses until I had clawed some time back

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 20/03/2015 12:59

You have been indulging this for 3 months!? What? Yes, id just give up on this lot as a bad job and move her to another one.

bumbleymummy · 20/03/2015 12:59

I would ask for a refund for the hours you've paid for when she hasn't been there!

Tanith · 20/03/2015 13:01

Wow! I should try this I can hear the parents' reactions, though!

Seriously, it sounds to me like they have a staffing problem. Maybe someone is going on a course, or on reduced hours or something like that.

I think that you do need to either talk to them or take her out of there. They certainly won't do anything while you're prepared to pay full fee for an hour a day. That arrangement suits them very well, I imagine

Aeroflotgirl · 20/03/2015 13:03

Yes I would remove her, this nursery sounds like its taking the micky. I would also have a meeting with the manager, and ask them to refund you the lost childcare that they owe you. This is totally unacceptable, and really you should have raised this within a month.

duckbilled · 20/03/2015 13:04

Wow they are really trying their luck! I would speak to them today and say you expect full hours to commence next week and you while like a refund on the unused hours.

I wouldn't contact Ofsted, they don't get involved in contractual issues like this.

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 13:08

The reason that I didn't do anything earlier is that I genuinely thought that they were taking it slowly for her sake and as she hadn't left me before, felt that she might take a while to settle in.

It was only after dropping her today at 9.55 and getting a call at 10.40 saying that she had done so much she was 'worn out' that I decided enough was enough.

I'm not usually this slow on the uptake but she seemed to like it there and dh said to wait another week to see if it stayed the same.

OP posts:

skinoncustard · 20/03/2015 13:09

I don't wish to be rude but I think they saw you coming!
I can't believe that you have paid for 7 hours and got 2 hours for 3 months
and still ask if you ABU !

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 13:09

*Dh said to wait another week as I was saying to him last week that this couldn't continue.

OP posts:

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 13:10

Yes I have been a fool

OP posts:

evertonmint · 20/03/2015 13:10

I thought Montessori was meant to child-led so if she's tired they let her rest and have a place for that, not send her home.

I'd take your DD out, cancel payments, write to them requesting a refund for services not provided, and report to Ofsted that you are concerned about staffing levels and poor management

PeachyParisian · 20/03/2015 13:11

They are taking the absolute piss. Most Montessori nurserys I've experienced have had a week long induction period and that's it! And that's for full time not half days.

Tanith · 20/03/2015 13:12

That's a perfectly reasonable assumption to make, Eliza. Don't feel bad - it's certainly not your fault they've tried this on with you.

I'm just so flabbergasted at their cheek

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 13:14

It doesn't seem like they had any particular induction period. Just a play it by ear approach.

So apart from feeling stupid.. At least I am NBU

OP posts:

granulatedhappiness · 20/03/2015 13:20

I agree with the posters who say you should try to get a refund for the hours you've paid for and also report them to OFSTED. I wonder if they've done this with other parents? It's not your fault for believing them. They're in a position of trust and you thought they were doing the right thing to help your child settle in.

LittleBairn · 20/03/2015 13:24

I've known a few montessori nurseries and CM I've never heard anyof them use it as an excuse. What does the contract say? I'm betting it doesn't mention anything about sending a child home on the whim of the owner.

They are taking the piss because they know you are at home, one less kid makes their morning easire. They are scamming you out of money.

Gileswithachainsaw · 20/03/2015 13:26

OMG what kind of nursery doesn't have somewhere a kid can go to rest if tired. is she running a half marathon in the 45 mins she's there because that's teh only way shed be that tired I such a short time when she didn't even start til ten

they are robbing you plain and simple.

Original poster

elizadofuckall · 20/03/2015 13:36

When I collected her today after 45 minutes I said to them that she clearly wasn't tired. I had to chase her to put her coat on!

But by then I was annoyed and I wouldn't get into a discussion like that in front of dd anyway.

OP posts:

LittleBairn · 20/03/2015 13:38

eliza have you ever said no? I would be interested in ow they reacted to bing told you will pick her up at 12.

LittleBairn · 20/03/2015 13:39

How not ow.

LittleBairn · 20/03/2015 13:40

Being not bing.
I have baby brain.

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