For several years dh and I have wanted to go to Florida (ie Disney) at Christmas, to see all the decorations etc. we both love Christmas. We decided a few months ago that we would go this year, for the first 2 weeks of December.
We have 2 dc, 3 and 6m, and also dsd9. We have taken dsd out of school before for a holiday, her mum was not thrilled about it. Dh thinks it's fine, I agree with dsd mum, that it's not really the right thing to do. But anyway, when talking about this trip, dh had acknowledged that we wouldn't be taking dsd. However, unbeknownst to me, he told dsd about it and then continued to try and persuade her mum to let her go. She eventually agreed, I think as dh had already told dsd and she didn't want to be the bad guy. I only found this out when dsd started talking about the holiday.
Now I should add that obviously dsd coming is no issue at all, we all get on fine, we've taken her before - no problem. But to go on the dates we want would mean we'd be away over her mums birthday, and neither mum or dsd want that.
We can't go a few days earlier as dh can't have holiday then and it would fall over thanksgiving weekend. We can't go later as then we'd be into the crazy busy time at Disney - first 2 weeks of dec are quiet, 2nd 2 are extremely busy. So dh solution is for us to go end October/beginning of November! Which completely (to me) defeats the object of the trip which is to enjoy a bit of the festive season there.
Is it unreasonable to insist that if dsd is coming she's just going to have to miss her mums birthday?
(For background, we go to Florida regularly, dsd has been to Disney 3 times with us, including last year when dh took her just the two of them, so it's not like she'd be being deprived of a once in a lifetime holiday if she didn't come)