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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To take his bedroom door off

112 replies

Shinyshoes2 · 18/03/2015 07:50

I've bloody had enough ! Ds2 just won't get out of bloody bed in the mornings . He's still in bed now and he should be leaving for school . Every morning we have this battle he manages to lock it from the inside when there is no lock !
He Goes to be at a reasonable time 9.00 ish
He has no laptop after 6pm so it's not that keeping him awake . He just mumbles " leave me alone I'm trying to sleep '
He
Constantly has detentions for lateness
I've had enough !!!
AIBU to take his bedroom door off that way I can fucking drag him out of the bed or tip him out of it at least. I'm sick of him dictating to me and the school when he arrives
He's 14

OP posts:
Littleturkish · 18/03/2015 07:51

How is he locking it from the inside??

What are the sanctions for not getting up in time?

TantrumsAndBalloons · 18/03/2015 07:53

Does he not get in trouble at school for being late?

Original poster
Shinyshoes2 · 18/03/2015 08:03

Yes he gets detentions almost weekly
I confiscate his laptop until he can prove he can get himself up and to school on time then he gets its back and it all starts again
He's still in bed now
I don't know how he manages to lick it from the inside , he can be very resourceful , I've tried the softly softly approach this morning and I've tried kicking the bloody door in ...he's still in bed unfazed by it all

OP posts:
popalot · 18/03/2015 08:06

If there is an old lock, you can put a biro or felt tip through the tube where the lock used to go. I'd talk to the school and see if they can up the anti as detentions aren't working as a deterrant. And make sure his phone is not in his room. Infact, you could take away laptop and phone indef until he learns to get up at a reasonable time.

spanky2 · 18/03/2015 08:09

There was a study done and it showed teenagers brains are wired differently which is why they can't get up in the morning. I would say no electronics as the light from them inhibits melatonin production and early nights until he can get up for school. He's obviously tired! Get your own way by 'kindness '!

Littleturkish · 18/03/2015 08:09

Do you give him pocket money?

I think you really have to up the sanction if the laptop one isn't working.

Are you able to talk about this when he is awake/in the afternoon? Is he ever sorry or remorseful?

I could make it clear he has a choice to leave his room and get ready for school now, or you are going to cancel X, remove Y or not allow him to go to Z.

This is a maturity issue, if he doesn't have the maturity to get himself up and dressed, he cannot have the privilege of XYZ.

DesperatelySeekingSanity · 18/03/2015 08:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

almosthuman · 18/03/2015 08:11

Personally I would take the door off.

flora717 · 18/03/2015 08:13

does the handle turn? I used to use my karate belt to hold the handle up by tieing it to my wardrobe door. My mum never did figure that out.

Bakeoffcake · 18/03/2015 08:13

No I wouldn't take the door off a teenagers bedroom.

Contact the school and ask for more sanctions as the detention isn't working.

I'd then take a step back- if he won't get up he has to suffer the consequences.

Does he has his phone in his room? TV? I'd take them out.

flora717 · 18/03/2015 08:14

*tying

HoneySwampDragonInMourning · 18/03/2015 08:15

spanky

Yet for hundreds of years millions of 14-20 year olds could get up and get to work on time?

flanjabelle · 18/03/2015 08:16

Yup door would be coming off, he can earn it back by getting to school on time for a month. With the clear condition that it will come off again if this crap starts up again.

flanjabelle · 18/03/2015 08:17

I think replacing it with a curtain is. Good idea, he still has privacy, but can't pull this little stunt.

ALittleFaith · 18/03/2015 08:18

I would take him to the GP to check there's nothing underlying causing the fatigue. Even if there's not, it might highlight to him how seriously you take this.

Bakeoffcake · 18/03/2015 08:19

Gosh there's some harsh people on here!

I don't think humiliating a teenager, (for a month) is a good way to get them to do what you want.

Original poster
Shinyshoes2 · 18/03/2015 08:19

Yes he has a mobile phone and a dvd player which he bought himself
They'll be tantrums but I'll have to remove these won't I . His older brother has managed to get in there now and is literally tipping him off his mattress . There's a lot of bad language and (some) laughing.

OP posts:
flanjabelle · 18/03/2015 08:22

I don't think it's harsh, op has tried the softly softly approach and to be honest I think it's a cop out to ask the school to up the ante. He needs to know that this isn't acceptable. No one likes getting up in the morning, but it has to be done!

Bakeoffcake · 18/03/2015 08:23

Yes take the phone and DVD player out of his room.

If he gets up on time for a week, he gets them back.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 18/03/2015 08:23

Yep remove those items "DS clearly you are tired in the mornings which means you arent sleepibg enough at night. No phone/tv in your room for one month"

Bakeoffcake · 18/03/2015 08:27

flan I really don't agree with humiliating anyone. Taking the door off someone's private space is a horrible thing to do. There are other ways to deal with this.

ZebraCrossing007 · 18/03/2015 08:31

I would also take the door off and let him earn it back!

Original poster
Shinyshoes2 · 18/03/2015 08:33

Right I've taken his phone ( he doesn't know yet )
When he's at school I'll remove his DVD player
He won't give these up willingly
He'll manage , I never had a mobile phone growing up
Any homework can be done at school at homework club

OP posts:
flanjabelle · 18/03/2015 08:34

If you replace it with a curtain, they still have their privacy, they just aren't able to lock someone out. I was threatened with this as a teen and sorted my act out. my parents are loving and in no way abusive. They just didn't put up with this sort of rubbish. school is important, I think it sends the wrong message to tip toe around this. I'm very much in favour of a gentle approach, but education is not optional Imo.

gamerchick · 18/03/2015 08:35

There you go OP there are people who are willing to take him and sort him out but aren't sharing on here. I'm sure PMs are winging their way to you as I type Wink

You need to sort out the door. . For one he may not be able to get out in an emergency.

Then there's the fines if the school drag in the attendance officer. 60 quid per parent per child. Will he be paying those have you asked?

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