AIBU to move DD to London

[BusyHomemaker]

I'm a single parent, living in my home town in the East Midlands. Job opportunities are, frankly, abysmal. DD's father moved away two years ago but does come back to see her once a fortnight. I never meant to end up back in my home town, ex lost his job so it was needs must situation. We split over two years ago due to his emotional abuse, and following counselling and a lot of work I finally feel like myself again. Divorce proceedings are underway. My parents have been supportive and are close to DD but I find them suffocating and they can be quite controlling... They seem to view me as a 33yr old child! They mean well but I have always found my relationship with them more manageable (and still close) when living away. I have lived in various places since uni, including abroad for a short time so I'm not particularly attached to my home town, as lovely as the people are.

I have lived in London in the past for over two years and absolutely adore the place. I have taken DD to the museums twice (she's 3) and she loves it too. I still have friends there.

An agency in my home town have put me forward for a role as Receptionist/Admin for an accountancy firm for 20K. I have been running my own craft business whilst caring for my daughter but now itching to get back into the workplace. This is similar to the work I did when living in London before... In Canary Wharf and Moorgate. My plan is to do this job for 12/18mths, saving a few thousand (entirely possible, according to my budget) and aim to move down during the summer before DD starts school. She's due to start Sept 2016. I've been considering where to live and my preference so far is Muswell Hill as it seems family friendly, good schools, fairly close to friends, about 20 min commute to city, easy to get to Kings Cross for seeing family in East Midlands and also DD's dad (based in Sheffield). I know rents are high but if I aim for a salary of 30K I think it's doable for two bed flat. I would also get £200 pm child maintenance and £20 pw CB

Am I mad? Is this just a pipe dream or can I make it a reality? I desperately want to!!

I'm interested in other people's views/tips/shared experience.

TIA

If you don't plan to move until the summer before she starts school what do you plan to do about getting her into a school?

This is a very good point flowery I was thinking about child care costs and also the disruption to DD. She's very settled in her current nursery.

My friend lives in Muswell hill. It's lovely. Very expensive though plus schools are oversubscribed. I can see that it's a lovely place to live for a family though. Best of luck, I hope it works out for you.

Have you checked rents in Muswell Hill? How would you manage the transition between moving/finding work? Usually deposits on flats are high so you may need more than a few thousand once you add in moving costs, estate agent fees and a safety net.

London either suits some people or it doesn't. It's like Marmite.

Yes I also agree that you would need to move well before the summer holidays.

I would find a job first then move. I could save a wee bit more and will have the deposit on my current house returned to me which could provide a safety net.

2 bed flats in Muswell Hill aren't cheap OP, I don't think 30k would cut it.

30k after tax is not enough to live on, not in muswell hill, not in my opinion.
Plus, you need to apply for her school place by the end of this year for the 2016 intake, which you can't do if you dont have an address there yet.
Sorry but it all seems ill thought out and chaotic. Moving on the basis that you've visited the museums a few times and your daughter liked it is madness.

I know you mention you have friends near where you are looking to move to in London, but you will need to organise some kind of fallback childcare if you are working and your daughter is ill, has an unexpected day off school etc. I know that's what my friend found the hardest when she moved away from family support.

Have you properly considered your budgets? I would definitly do it if I was in your shoes but make sure your numbers add up. I pay £1100 pm on a 1 bed in a relatively undesirable location, though the flat itself is pretty plush (and next to an overground station).

Fantastic plan, provided that financially you can definitly do it. Schools are massively oversubscribed so I'd move well before school is due to start.

It is indeed a lovely area with very good schools but it is expensive. And no tube, the buses are very busy. How are you going to be in the city in 20 minutes? I am not sure you can tbh. I would say it is a longer commute.
But yes it is a nice area to bring up a child. We go sometimes to AlexandraPalace.

Muswell Hill is very pricey. You may need to look at Holloway/Archway. If you want to move so your DD can start school there, I would start looking now at jobs. Do you have any savings at all?

Kew I used to live in London and loved living there. I have visited the city many a time, before and after my period living there. I know it well as I used to temp all over. Granted, I've only taken DD twice.

I'd go for it. Id make sure you can definitely afford the rent and have enough saved up in reserve (you will probably need to pay a 6 week deposit plus months rent in advance, plus moving costs, estate agent fees etc), but otherwise why not?

We've just moved up north from London with 2yo DD, because we couldn't afford a house in an area we liked (we had a 2 bed flat). We debated long and hard though because there are so many great things to do with kids there and we both loved it. We could easily have come down on the other side if we didnt have family or job prospects up here.

Good luck OP!

I used to live in Muswell Hill and don't think a 2 bed flat will be realistic on a 30k salary (how depressing!) unless you are right out by the North circular, which means a much longer commute. and re schools, unless you are living there in January when you have to submit 'choices' they're just slot you into a school with space which is unlikely to be one of the most popular / better schools. My advice would be to look at a cheaper area and move earlier. You could also consider a house share with another single parent whilst you find your feet. I know some people who have done that. Good luck!

MUswell hill would be way out of your budget. If you're looking city/Canary wharf, that side of London has excellent links to the east of London/Essex and Kent. If you go further west (ie west end) for a job, South west London/ Surrey are you better areas to live. Not sure about areas north of central London but I do know that's you'll need to be at least zone 3 or 4 to be able to do it. Still London, still brilliant and fast links into the capital but cheaper, more space, more choice of schooling.

What kind of rent are you budgeting?

But you won't just be living there will you? You'll be living their with a child, it's a massively different experience, not to mention far more expensive. Can you afford childcare for the 14 weeks a year school holidays? On top of the bare minimum £1200 rent per month? If it were just you I'd say go for it, live somewhere a bit ropey and just eat beans on toast but you're draggjng a child along for the ride too, a child who you haven't worked out how you're going to get a school place for yet?!

It's not a crazy idea, but you might need to implement it sooner than you think. You'll need to be living there at application time to have a chance at a school of your choice.

But yes, more job opportunities and ImE slightly childcare options than elsewhere.

I also can't see how you'll afford a 2 bed flat on £30k. Just rent alone is probably going to set you back £15k a year.

I don't have any savings atm but will very soon be in a position to start saving and I'm used to living on a small budget. Perhaps it is worth considering a house share with other single parents... Does anyone know how to go about this? Gumtree? And I will look at different areas... Any suggestions for child friendly areas with an easy commute? (I used to commute 1hr20 but shudder at the thought now, esp with a child to drop off/collect). Thanks so much for all of the replies so far.

I think your quality of life will diminish significantly - and also that of your child, particularly if you are taking her away from familial support network. It seems like a pipe dream, I'm afraid.

Renting isn't possible on that salary. We rent a 1 bed flat. It costs almost £20k a year in rent ( and there's myself, dh and x2 children)

You will need to be earning minimum x3 the annual rent. So £15k rent, you need min £45k earnings for example.

Childcare isn't cheap either.

It's a nice idea, but you need to have a guaranteed job first, and really research cheaper areas to live.

I would say go for it but check you can afford it. As you are working you will need nursery at £1000 per month while you apply for schools which are about £25 a day for breakfast and after school club once she starts, plus £70 in a subsidised holiday club-triple that if not council run.

I live just outside of Ealing and a one bed flat is about £1000 per month.

Plus your travel about £9 per day.

You need to think long and hard about take home pay, where you am afford and which schools you can apply to. In London living in a good school catchment can push up rent by 10%.

I love London and love raising my kids here but it is not cheap.

We also don't have family support but have a great group of friends-met through nursery and school.

Good luck

Why not just get a one bed and you sleep in the lounge.