AIBU to move DD to London

[BusyHomemaker]

I'm a single parent, living in my home town in the East Midlands. Job opportunities are, frankly, abysmal. DD's father moved away two years ago but does come back to see her once a fortnight. I never meant to end up back in my home town, ex lost his job so it was needs must situation. We split over two years ago due to his emotional abuse, and following counselling and a lot of work I finally feel like myself again. Divorce proceedings are underway. My parents have been supportive and are close to DD but I find them suffocating and they can be quite controlling... They seem to view me as a 33yr old child! They mean well but I have always found my relationship with them more manageable (and still close) when living away. I have lived in various places since uni, including abroad for a short time so I'm not particularly attached to my home town, as lovely as the people are.

I have lived in London in the past for over two years and absolutely adore the place. I have taken DD to the museums twice (she's 3) and she loves it too. I still have friends there.

An agency in my home town have put me forward for a role as Receptionist/Admin for an accountancy firm for 20K. I have been running my own craft business whilst caring for my daughter but now itching to get back into the workplace. This is similar to the work I did when living in London before... In Canary Wharf and Moorgate. My plan is to do this job for 12/18mths, saving a few thousand (entirely possible, according to my budget) and aim to move down during the summer before DD starts school. She's due to start Sept 2016. I've been considering where to live and my preference so far is Muswell Hill as it seems family friendly, good schools, fairly close to friends, about 20 min commute to city, easy to get to Kings Cross for seeing family in East Midlands and also DD's dad (based in Sheffield). I know rents are high but if I aim for a salary of 30K I think it's doable for two bed flat. I would also get £200 pm child maintenance and £20 pw CB

Am I mad? Is this just a pipe dream or can I make it a reality? I desperately want to!!

I'm interested in other people's views/tips/shared experience.

TIA

Do you have a helicopter? Can't see any other way to get from MH to the City in 20 minutes!

We've been looking at two bed flats in Muswell Hill and Crouch End this week. You are looking at £400 for the cheaper end of the market PER week plus £450 a year water, £160 council tax plus electricity and telephone. It's about £2k a month plus £140 for your travel card.

The other thing is that schools around here are like golddust. You'd have to pay more for a flat in a good catchment so add on another £30-50 a week for that. Plus inflation at 5% a year.

Sorry but I think it's seriously over optimistic.

And moving down now to get a better school also probably not an option. Nursery accommodation is £80 a day on average

Honestly on your budget I would forget Muswell Hill, but you could probably manage somewhere in South East London - somewhere like Catford which is still relatively cheap, has good transport connections and lots of children and young families in it.

It could be quite tough at first. Not to say you shouldn't do it if you want to, though - especially if you've lived here before.

agree with PP that you will struggle on 30k. it is doable. my auntie earns about that (slightly less I think) and she lives with DD in Leyton, East London. My cousin goes to an after-school club for childcare, which she loves. However, they do live in a one bed flat and my Auntie sleeps on a sofa bed in the lounge as DD has the bedroom. Not ideal but they're perfectly happy with it. Their rent is £850 which is absurdly cheap for London. I also work with a polish lady who pays £850 for a one bed flat in Perivale which she shares with her sister. I think you will struggle to get a two bed for anything less than about £1400. DD and I rent a two bed in Islington and pay nearly £2000. TTC at the moment and then we are going to move somewhere cheaper as I will not be working, but we will still be looking at £1500 for a two bed anywhere remotely central.

I don't think the schools thing is a big issue if you're living in a cheaper area (which, sorry, on your budget you'll have to do). They're all much of a muchness. I went to a crappy East London comp and have done well academically. I think there is too much hype over school stuff tbh!!!

PS I second South East London - many areas there are still affordable and still relatively cheap

Thanks for all the input :) It is certainly not my intention to lower DD's quality of life, my dream is to improve it with more exposure to culture and opportunities. I really do need to consider a contingency plan for if DD becomes ill and properly look at my budget. I'll also get onto a few recruitment agencies to find out the type of salary I can realistically expect and will def look into the East. Obviously I'm only going to make the move if I believe it will bring a positive outcome for both DD and myself. I could bring the move forward in order to get DD into a decent school. I'm more concerned with the culture than results/Ofsted grading as she is a bright girl so as far as I'm concerned if the culture is right for her she will flourish. Lots of food for thought...

I say do it if you want to... bity just bear in mind that £30k in Muswell Hill is pushing the boundaries for a 2 bed flat...

And to the people doubting commuting times, according to tfl Alexandra Palace to Moorgate takes 21 mins and that's what I based it going on.

Would love a helicopter :p

You could definitely afford a 2 bed flat near me though... consider Eltham and Mottingham in SE London.

If you're happy to have a 30 min journey/40 min journey to Victoria or London bridge, try sutton, Epsom, Worcester park areas - parts count as London. Zone 6. Great links. Schools are brilliant, particularly sutton borough which has some of the best state schools in the country. Rents in those areas are £750-£1,000 pcm for a two bed.

BusyHomemaker London schools (aside from private ones and grammars etc) can be a major culture shock when you're not used to them. I know this as I teach in them and see many kids come through from other places in the UK. Many of them (particularly when young) are fine, but some do find it difficult to adapt.

However, your DD is young so she will adapt quickly - it's ones who move here at secondary school age who seem to find it tricky.

for me personally, going to a school here (a crap school!) was great - it taught me so much about different cultures and people and I really learnt to be assertive and stand up for myself. Plus did very well academically.

I would always advocate that London is a brilliant place to bring up kids (I am a staunch defender of my home city) but it's certainly not a place you move to lightly. You sound like you're asking all the right questions - good luck!

I have to say I think a 20 minute commute is a little unrealistic....mine is 30 mins at the moment and I think that's amazing!!!

Firstly, Muswell Hill is a very desirable area, consequently very expensive. Some local schools are good, but all are oversubscribed, good or bad.

I'm not sure why you think you can get into Central London/City in 20 mins. It takes my sister about 20 mins on a bus to a station, then half an hour on the tube, to get to Liverpool Street.

You won't find a 2 bed flat for anything less than £275pw, and childcare is expensive and in short supply. Spending the odd day in London really doesn't give you any idea of just how expensive it is to live there.

I think it would be a huge mistake to think you can do this on your own, without any family support nearby, on a salary of £30,000.

It will be more than 20 min commute. We live in zone 1, and work zone 1 and it takes us 20mins to get to work

busy without a doubt I would get as close to London as you possibly can.

without a doubt and you know, yes, its expensive and there is a list of negatives, but people on low budgets do live there, and do survive.

Go for it. Its hard but do able.

Worth looking at the Wood St side of Walthamstow, still expensive to rent but not nearly as expensive as Muswell Hill. Loads of families and a very friendly area with active parent websites, I know of a couple of single parents that have flat shared. Most primary schools are OFSTED good and above, I know of a few people that got places at my daughters school in the summer before she started this year. Into Oxford Circus in 20 mins on tube.

I think your quality of life will diminish significantly - and also that of your child, particularly if you are taking her away from familial support network. It seems like a pipe dream, I'm afraid

I disagree and I think for you also op there are more life opportunities, to make new friends etc. You can beat London for richness of experience, so many museums, shops, places to mooch around, you could never tire of it, and most of that free. Lovely parks and so on. Go for it.

Londons a wonderful place with a 3 year old. I love lugging her round the museums/ parks.

I have a nice two bed flat in London, and am on a similar wage plus similar child support: I managed on less when DS was in the early years of primary school. Area is nowhere near as posh as Muswell Hill and money is tight but I manage and it is doable.

The massive advantage I had when DS was little, was having family near by for help with childcare. Not for sickness particularly but for everyday wraparound school care, and for all the holidays. That is the bit I'd think about most if I were in your position now. Good luck.

London is wonderful, but people are right that you can't afford Muswell Hill, or Crouch End, or Stroud Green, or Archway, or Holloway. That is not your fault and it is pretty rubbish, but there are other parts of London. Leytonstone? Or East Ham.

Alternatively, do you think a compromise might work? Leave where you are, but instead of moving to London move to Edinburgh, or Glasgow, or Bristol, or Manchester, or Liverpool. All great cities.

If you are a receptionist/administrator you won't get a 30k salary in London. You'd need to be a PA to get that salary. You will get housing benefit and tax credits towards childcare though so that will top your salary up,

I could consider other cities, I have lots of family in Scotland and Edinburgh is a surprisingly cheap (if booked in advance) 4 hour train journey from my hometown. I previously worked as a PA when in London, supporting directors in the financial sector. Sadly there's nothing similar round here and I've taken a few years out of formal employment in order to be at home for DD and recover from EA. If I can't get a decent job that would be a stumbling block. Keep the feedback coming! It's certainly helping me to carefully consider my options :)

YANBU to want this move. Whether or not you can realistically achieve it I'm not sure.

I am desperate to move to London (am also a single parent but have 3 children and no maintenance) but I couldn't afford it without our lifestyle suffering hugely and I earn £40000!

I want to live there so that I could take the children to the theatre and arts events all the time and get the best quality training in the Arts, as well as experiencing the atmosphere and travelling all over the city to take part in all that goes on.

But if I actually lived there we'd be penny pinching and not going out anywhere, ever. Except to free, walkable stuff. Which would be minimal because I couldn't afford to live centrally enough for most of the free events.

Think very carefully about whether or not it's worth it for you.

At the moment I live within easy reach of London on the train and can afford to go there very regularly - could that be another option for you?

I used to live around Muswell Hill but it was a few years ago so I might be out of date:-).

Yes MH is expensive, so why not look at the train line and go a bit further north? Alexandra palace was always cheaper and New Southgate a bit cheaper still. What about Enfield?

I admire you. I am sure with a bit of research you can make it work.

I'm beginning to think that Muswell Hill is out of the question but still want to move. I would consider moving within easy reach. Oxford is lovely! And Cambridge... I have expensive taste!!! I have previously worked in a University so that's a possible career route.

C