To be angry that DD has been dropped off by neighbour at crossing instead of in school

[MishMoshi]

I have an arrangement with a neighbour whose daughter is same age as mine (7) - they take the girls into school, we pick them up. Daughter told me this weekend that he has started dropping them both off at the crossing patrol outside the school.

Besides the fact that I want my DD to have an adult with her until she goes into class because of her age - the school asks parents to supervise all children in the playground until they go in. I was planning to ask him about it in the morning but the more I think about it the more wound up I am feeling, I wouldn't dream of doing that without good reason and without telling the other parent that I had done so.

I wondered if it was because he was late for work - they go into class at 8.55 and he starts work 5mins later, 5 mins away, but it's happened more than once and he hasn't said anything about it so am wondering whether to trust him.

Would I be overreacting to cancel arrangement and start taking daughter in myself?

I can safely say that no, my DS will not be walking himself to school at age 7. We live in London and there are major roads to cross, not to mention daily incidents such as muggings, stabbings, attempted abductions etc.

A group of older boys tried to mug me at a school fete when I was 10. It was only that I was fairly feisty that they didn't. So I don't feel that OP is wrapping her DD in cotton wool at all.

There are daily attempted abductions where you live mickey?! Im surprised by that.

Our previous school used to allow children to play in the playground before school, but then banned it because it was afraid it could be liable if there was an injury. But it is still fine for the children to walk through the playground to the classrooms on their own, in the short period of time that is now allowed for that. It sounds as though the OP's school has gone for maximum paranoia in worrying that if a child trips over during that short walk they could be held liable unless the parent was "supervising". I would certainly ignore that.

Know OP has sorted this now, but just in general...
If they were having to wait a bit in the playground alone, can see why some people would be miffed.
If however, they were crossing, walking through the playground straight into the classroom door, I wouldn't see any reason to be.

The attempted abductions aren't daily but there is something daily. Gang fights involving children etc. Our london borough was in the news for a shocking attempted abduction last year of a nine year old sent on an errand by her Nan within sight of the flat. There were 2 more within a week of each other after that - not hearsay, the police put out statements. And that awful awful story of an 11 year old raped by an 18 year old who followed her in to a park after she walked home from school? Yep. My borough. So there is absolutely not a cat in hells chance a child as young as 7 would be walking to school alone, and especially not going in to an unsupervised playground.

Mickey coming from East London, I certainly wouldn't let my DC go to school alone at 7, so you're definitely not alone in that. I wasn't allowed to go alone until I was in secondary.
Saying that, if DCs school was set up like OPs description (manned crossing then straight into playground) I wouldn't mind them being dropped off at crossing
But

I think its the unsupervised playground bit that I don't like. Who is in there? And what might they have brought in from home to show their friends that ends up accidentally hurting someone. Damilola Taylor was only 10. I realise that this is extreme and seems paranoid for someone who doesn't live with high crime; I know its not the case across the rest of the country, but I was slightly at people saying their 7 year olds walk to school. I was allowed at secondary on the condition I stayed with my older cousin the whole journey.

Ah right, I see what you mean now. mickey I was just that there could be an area with attempted abductions every day.

I went to school in central London everyday from 11 but that was back in the late 90's early 00's and it was slightly safer then.

Right you have a disable child so this therefore ends any free childcare arrangemeets.
And as you have a disable child ring your council as you will be able to get transport for your child free.

Sorry, to be clear that was on my own at age 11

Our primary school decided to keep the playground gate locked until 10 mins before start of school. This meant that instead of waiting for a while in the playground, children then started to wait on their own on the pavement outside, which is next to an extremely busy and polluted main road. The school doesn't care, because if someone gets injured it's not their liability.

I don't think that's fair vicarscat aren't the parents choosing to leave their children by the side of the road even though they know the school isn't open?

Mickey Sounds like East London to me. Could easily be Tower Hamlets, or Newham.

It's very difficult to time dropping your child off to the minute, especially when it clashes with the start of work. I think that the school are being very inflexible. In fact, the gate is usually opened a few minutes late, and it takes a few minutes to cross the playground, so it's very difficult to time it so that 1) your child doesn't have to wait by the main road, whether with or without parent, 2) they're not late into class. Every second of lateness is recorded and added up.

Our lollipop people have been knocked over and cars just drive round them when they have their stick up.
I used to walk with dd and cross further down the road, way before the lollipop person, it was safer.

Vicarscat How awkward!
DC technically start school at 8.45, gate opens at 8.35 but doors are still open until 8.55, so you have a 10 minute window to get them in.
I thought a 5 or 10 minute 'grace' period was normal tbh... Although I suppose it depends on the size of the school, in their school they have about 90 students per year group so quite big.

Without all the inns and outs it's really a case of communication between adults. He shouldn't have changed the arrangement without asking you first.

7yo don't walk to school on their own round here and didn't when I was growing up either (same area).

Not sure when they start but secondary they go by themselves obv and will be handling buses tubes etc.

I used to do some of the walk by myself (as far as the busy road) from about 9 upwards I think it was. It was fine UNTIL someone approached you and then at that age you don't really know what to do, even if the person approaching you is being fairly innocuous.

So I'll probably err on the side of caution, I expect.

Definitely no 7yo going to school by themselves round here though. DD1 is 7 and the thought of it is no way, it's just not done here.

It's just walking across a patrolled crossing, with lots of other kids. No big deal, and probably saves the parent having to park and walk quite a way with them, making him late for work every day. Nothing like walking all the way to school alone.

When you were doing the pickups, were you looking after his child for some time afterwards (eg until one of them got our from work)? If so, I'd be annoyed about it too. Otherwise, if you were just picking up and dropping straight off, I think it would be slightly unfair to expect a parent to wait around for up to half an hour until the bell.

I think people are over exaggerating that the school asks for them to be supervised.
I'm taking this to mean that you must stay in the playground until the doors are open, so if doors are open when you make drop off it's fine?