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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be angry that DD has been dropped off by neighbour at crossing instead of in school

122 replies

MishMoshi · 15/03/2015 23:00

I have an arrangement with a neighbour whose daughter is same age as mine (7) - they take the girls into school, we pick them up. Daughter told me this weekend that he has started dropping them both off at the crossing patrol outside the school.

Besides the fact that I want my DD to have an adult with her until she goes into class because of her age - the school asks parents to supervise all children in the playground until they go in. I was planning to ask him about it in the morning but the more I think about it the more wound up I am feeling, I wouldn't dream of doing that without good reason and without telling the other parent that I had done so.

I wondered if it was because he was late for work - they go into class at 8.55 and he starts work 5mins later, 5 mins away, but it's happened more than once and he hasn't said anything about it so am wondering whether to trust him.

Would I be overreacting to cancel arrangement and start taking daughter in myself?

OP posts:
Icantstopeatinglol · 15/03/2015 23:02

YADNBU! I've got a 7yr old ds and I would be furious if I thought someone wasn't taking my ds into the actual school. I wouldn't think the school would be happy about it either?

AgentProvocateur · 15/03/2015 23:03

Yes. They're 7, not 4 and he's dropping them off outside the school. You do realise that many children that age (in scotland, so local schools nearby) walk to school with their friends at that age?

SanityClause · 15/03/2015 23:03

Why can't a 7yo walk across a supervised crossing, into school?

I very much think you would be overreacting to cancel the arrangement.

WorraLiberty · 15/03/2015 23:04

They're 7, not 5 so that wouldn't bother me at all.

However, it would probably bother the school if there is no playground supervision.

Gileswithachainsaw · 15/03/2015 23:05

I'd be ok with that tbh.

no different to.other parents chucking their kids across the Rd

Fanfeckintastic · 15/03/2015 23:07

Children that age walk and cycle to school themselves around here!

JustDerppingAround · 15/03/2015 23:12

I can't see the problem if it's a supervised crossing that's close to the school.

If you don't like it you should mention it to him but I don't think you should be angry with him.

oneowlgirl · 15/03/2015 23:14

I wouldn't be ok with him doing it without discussing it with you first. In your position, I'd probably cancel the arrangement too as I'd be very angry about the breach of trust (as that's how I'd see what he's done).

DoJo · 15/03/2015 23:16

It doesn't matter what other children do at that age - the OP says

the school asks parents to supervise all children in the playground until they go in

and this is not happening.

OP - could you swap with them so you do drop off and they pick up instead?

CaptainHolt · 15/03/2015 23:18

Do you mean he is stopping the car at the lollipop and making them scramble out of the car before the traffic moves again, or is he walking them along to the crossing and then letting them cross with the lollipop woman and go into school. I think the latter is fine, but not the former. Surely lots of 7yos are left close to school rather than inside the building.

MrsRhettButler · 15/03/2015 23:21

I drop a neighbours dc down and I let them out down the road as parking by the school is impossible.
I did tell my neighbour beforehand though as it's her right to know what level of care her dc are getting from me.
Yanbu

AliceMcGee · 15/03/2015 23:31

I think its fine

differentnameforthis · 16/03/2015 00:10

All those who say it is ok as she is 7, did you not read this...

the school asks parents to supervise all children in the playground until they go in

wanttosqueezeyou · 16/03/2015 00:15

Your neighbour should have mentioned if they'not dropping at the door any more. Have they? If not, they should have.

What other people do is irrelevant. Child, area, individual school, local knowledge etc etc is relevant to whether this is ok.

BiscuitMillionaire · 16/03/2015 00:19

There was an item in our infant school newsletter saying that they're very concerned to get reports that some parents are dropping their DCs outside the gates, not taking them in. So YANBU for a 7-yr old. If she was 9 it would be different.

LayMeDown · 16/03/2015 00:28

I think the timing is critical here. If classrooms opens at 8.55 and he is.leaving them at the supervised crossing in front of the school at say 8.54 so they are walking directly into open classrooms then I would have no issue with that. If he wants as dropping at 8.45 so they were spending 10 mins unsupervised in yard. Well I'd have a massive issue with that
It seems he has to be in work for 9 with a 5 min drive. If you have to walk kids into classrooms that only open at 8.55 you won't make it for 9. If you leave them at the crossing at 8.55 and drive on you will.

LulaMayBrown · 16/03/2015 00:35

I would be fine with this, as long as the crossing was supervised.

Where i live (different country) there are tons of teeny kids waiting for school buses on corners and crossing the roads. I think perhaps we're a little bit too careful in the UK.

But only you know how potentially dangerous this crossing is. perhaps it's really bad.
I wouldn't be livid with him though. If this arrangement suits both of you then why don't you just tell him straight out that you would prefer to get your DD ready for him 5 mins earlier so he's able to park up and walk her right inside the gate. If you're not comfortable, you're not comfortable and you don't have to justify it.

AliceMcGee · 16/03/2015 07:38

isn t he doing you a favour here?

MythicalKings · 16/03/2015 07:42

It wouldn't be a problem for me. It's what I did with both DSs when they turned 7. A year later they were both walking on their own.

VivaLeBeaver · 16/03/2015 07:43

If it's not working for you cancel the arrangement and take your dd in yourself.

waithorse · 16/03/2015 07:57

Just make other arrangements if you're not happy.

however · 16/03/2015 08:02

The crossing patrol is presumably controlled by someone with a 'children crossing' sign?

If so, then I wouldn't give it a second thought. But your kid, your choice, so you should drop him yourself. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it though. My 7 year old walks up and gets the bus himself to school. A lot of 7 year olds do. It isn't unusual.

however · 16/03/2015 08:03

Adifferentname, yes I read that. The child is being dropped off immediately before school starts, yes? Every school my kids have ever been to have teachers milling around at that time. We were never expected to walk them right into class at that time.

TheCowThatLaughs · 16/03/2015 08:06

I wouldn't think it was a massive problem, except for the fact that the school asks for them to be supervised, and also that he hasn't told you! He ibu

LindyHemming · 16/03/2015 08:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.