To ignore the upstairs neighbour banging on his floor about crying baby

[MrsHende]

Baby hates getting dressed and usually screams her way through the 5-6 minute process. Twice our upstairs neighbours has banged on their floor, presumably because of the noise. Both times were after 7.30 and before 8am, once this morning and once last week, on a week day.

Who IBU?

(My mum thinks I should change the baby in a different room, possibly the best solution for everyone's blood pressure!)

Well done for taking it all on-board and being considerate OP, there are some on here who think that the world should revolve around babies. Of course your world should revolve around your baby but other people have lives too. I hope your neighbours are as considerate as you have been here

Boat - I fully sympathise with your situation even if other MNERS don't.

I've had the same symptoms as you so know what it is like to be unable to sleep or concentrate. It is far worse than any physical pain I have ever had. It was not caused by noise in my case.

So Mrs Hende - how is a student going to pass their exams if they haven't been able to sleep irrespective of where they can study??

'I've had the same symptoms as you so know what it is like to be unable to sleep or concentrate. It is far worse than any physical pain I have ever had. It was not caused by noise in my case.'

You need to see a doctor.

It's a 5 minute disturbance. If the student can't fit sleep around it, that's not the OP's fault. The student can always buy earplugs.

Queen, if the situation was that bad then the student should speak to the neighbour causing the disturbance stopping them from sleeping. They should also consider the use of ear plugs and noise cancelling headphones. If this is no use then the appropriate authorities need to be informed because the noise is clearly not of normal levels or they need to consider moving as the cause of the noise is not going to stop or be stopped. Not everyone is considerate, I agree.

However, my baby crying for 5 minutes at 7.30am is not stopping anyone from sleeping to such an extent that we are ruining their lives!

'You were a baby once too" argument - aagh. So what?!! I will never understand that statement. Ooh yes, I was a baby once and I am the embodiment of infallible wondrousness.

Lists, your neighbour has restored my faith in humanity.
Genuinely baffled at people on this thread that think people who have babies that cry are inconsiderate to their neighbours. I suggest when they are trying to study or have exams coming up that they go round to the neighbours house and politely explain to the crying baby that they need to sleep/study and will the baby kindly STFU.
Or, buy earplugs.
When we had our DS our neighbours noticed I was in labour and went and put our bins out for us while we were at hospital. When we got home they asked if they could do anything for us, when we had sleepless nights they asked if we were ok. They didn't complain.
They are expecting now and when their DC arrives we will do the same for them despite no longer having a nighttime crying baby ourselves. Having neighbours is about compromise, understanding and consideration. The OP should not have to go and stand in the kitchen every time her baby cries for the fear of upsetting a twat upstairs who thinks banging on the floor is an acceptable way of behaving.

Students are capable of working with noise around them. If they can't, earplugs or headphones.

Then again I am biased.

I feel sorry for both OP and her neighbour. It's not an easy situation. However earplugs and headphones are not good if you live on your own and want to actually hear what's going on in your own flat in case someone breaks in or whatever - I went down that road and couldn't sleep at all not being able to hear my surroundings properly.

Her neighbour doesn't live alone, and he doesn't actually know the OP is changing the baby, as far as he is aware, the baby is waking up, crying and his response is to bang on the floor. Yeah, that will really help the situation! Must be keeping OPs stress levels down no end. And also alerting her that her crying baby is crying. He sounds like a complete and utter knob.
theboat exactly what steps do you suggest people take to address the problem? In rented accommodation you can't make interior changes such as soundproofing. Before I have another DC I suppose I should go and ask the neighbours whether they mind me having a baby that will cry. And if I got pregnant accidentally, i suppose I should have an abortion especially if the neighbours have exams coming up.
FFS we are not talking about late night parties/gatherings/loud music here. It's a baby, babies cry.

Consideration and understanding works two ways and the people on here complaining about tiny babies crying don't sound very considerate to me.
Actually sound more like Mr. Heckles from Friends.

I disagree that the parents of whichever screaming child have it worse off though. There is nothing worse than hearing someone elses child cry - it always sounds more shrill/ear splitting than your own and you have the bonus frustrating-factor of being powerless to do anything about it.

Even after 10 years, this place never fails to amuse me. No wonder The Wright Stuff people, and so many others, come on here. 'I Failed My Exams Due to a Crying Baby!'

God, where the fuck were you living? Let's hear this sob story? My student arse was living in sinks above super pubs and next to brothels where there was no child to be seen for nigh on a mile. I was kept up by a male dom pros who served male clients who would scream all night, 'Oh, oh, my pussy hurts!' A place with walls so thin, the young man next to me tried to coax me into helping him on his self-pleasure journeys. A flatmate who, when I came home at dawn from a waitress/bar back job, proclaimed I missed all the excitement!, her ex boyfriend had shown up and threatened her at knifepoint.

A baby crying for 5 minutes would have been a welcome relief.

Our next door neighbours' baby woke up every single morning at 5am for about 18 months and cried for about 20 minutes. Sometimes I felt resentful they didn't go to him quicker, but I guessed they either couldn't hear him (not that we live in huge mansions!!) or were doing controlled crying. Anyway, I just remembered what it was like to have young children who wake early or in the night, who tantrum, who cry etc and I sucked it up. The neighbours are absolutely lovely which helped my decision to get over myself!

Omg expat!

Interesting that some people think students have no right to study in their own homes! I wonder if you have ever experienced exam stress when there is a screaming baby next door? Earplugs reduce it they don't block it. It's not just the constant disturbance in daytime and evening it's the sleep deprivation. I know its harsh when your baby wakes you every 2 hours in the night but you should expect this when you plan to have one. When you're the neighbour being woken 5x a night it's much much worse, esp if you have an early lecture to attend or a deadline to meet. My DH was trying to finish his thesis in that flat whilst teaching an undergrad programme in daytime, so evenings were the only time he had to study, and the library closed at 5pm. It wasn't just the screaming baby it was the 2 older children yelling and crying and being noisy and the mum would just shout and swear at them. To have a third child in a tiny flat with such poor soundproofing was (IMO) completely selfish, irresponsible and inconsiderate.
To the poster who said 'why should the need to study trump desire to procreate'... I would reverse the question. Why not procreate somewhere you won't ruin other people's lives... because constant noise, stress and sleep deprivation damages health and careers. A baby does not give you the right to stop caring about your neighbours needs.

OP I appreciate you said your baby only screams for a few mins but what amazed me was your attitude to the neighbours. You assumed they are intolerant students with hangovers who are being rude and unreasonable for banging and you said you were angry at their behaviour. You had to be told by someone else to change your baby in another room! If your baby wakes someone up its not their fault and I maintain that a quick bang on ceiling to ask you to move rooms is not rude. You chose to live in a flat and neighbours have a right to sleep, if baby screams when being dressed its obviously up to you to dress her in a different room. They can't move their bedroom! When my DC were babies I always thought about the layout of our home, knew the neighbours layout and took care not to let my baby scream and cry next to someone's bedroom.

Lol arsehole

But the neighbours wouldn't have known she was changing her baby would they? So they were just knocking because a baby cried for 5 mins. It really is rude to knock on a wall in this circumstance rather than say something.

Although to be honest I think someone coming round to complain about a baby crying for 5 mins would be an idiot too.

It's a shame there aren't more apartment buildings with a 'no children' rule. I notice these are increasingly popular in city-centres but tend to be small flats in expensive areas. At least rental companies are finally realising that many people don't want to be disturbed by babies and children, and people without families should have the right to enjoy a peaceful environment.
I wish there were more buildings/areas with a 'no children' rule. IMO everyone should have the right to choose a quiet home, and not have someone else's child's noise inflicted on them.

I wish there were blocks with a "no intolerant dicks" rule

I can see that no children blocks might work, but I expect you'd always pay a premium for that. It also wouldn't mitigate against loud parties etc.

By far the worst neighbours I've ever had were young men who always had friends round and were convinced they were great neighbours and lovely blokes despite the constantly slammed front doors, ridiculously loud sub- woofers at 3am etc.

The neighbours with a child with night terrors were a walk in the park compared to them because I knew it couldn't really be helped. Made it easier to cope with.

I believe every baby should have the right to communicate with its mother or father by crying that something is wrong without an intolerant rude selfish C*T banging on the floor. Move into a student block if you want to study in peace!!!

at I failed my exams because of a crying baby.

Im not usually one for 'you did ? Well I did _!' but seriously. Five minutes of crying is going to make someone fail their exams?

I managed to get through my second year assignments and essays with the screams of a two week old baby, and I couldn't smack on the ceiling to tell the parents to shut it up because its my own baby!

Unless they have genuine noise sensitivity, I think people need to stop being such delicate little flowers.

usually only room. for first years in halls