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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

aibu to think the school can get fucked telling me what i can and can't put in packups

348 replies

InTheWhiteRoom · 11/03/2015 16:05

ds is 8

he came home with a letter saying his pack up today was inappropriate. it was a very patronising letter "we promote healthy eating" and all that shit.... i can only assume this is because as I put a marshmallow in his pack up. a SINGLE marshmallow. along with his sandwich (cheese salad on granary) 2 bits of fruit and a yoghurt.

aibu to think I am the parent and I decide what goes in lunches?

jeez anyone would think his pack up was a can of coke and a packet of biscuits.

Angry
OP posts:
claraagain · 11/03/2015 16:06

So you sent sweets into school?

What does it say about sweets in packed lunches?

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 16:08

I'm with you, OP, given that the school dinners on offer are sugar-laden starch fests.

DS today - burger and chocolate cracknel.

hotfuzzra · 11/03/2015 16:08

How annoying! I'd just ignore it and keep doing it, plus adding other so called inappropriate items!

MrsTawdry · 11/03/2015 16:09

So what if she DID send sweets Clara school is not the police! AND even if school were the police, they can't tell me or anyone else what to feed our children.

As she said, had she sent coke and a cold maccy Ds in then fair play...write a note home. But the boy is obviously well fed...one marshmallow does not a disaster make.

Hakluyt · 11/03/2015 16:09

"we promote healthy eating" and all that shit."

Well, obvioulsy they do need to tell you! grin

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 16:09

claraagain, but the children having school meals are given sweet foods, laden with sugar. Much more than ever usually turn up in a packed lunch.

WorraLiberty · 11/03/2015 16:10

It sounds a little OTT for 1 marshmallow so YANBU there.

YABVU to think that because you're the parent, you decide what goes into the school lunches. That's something you need to take up with the school.

Before the new healthy eating rules, many parents 'decided' to send their kids with nothing but a tube of jaffa cakes, or sometimes a half eaten cold McDonald's happy meal at my kid's primary.

I'm all for the healthy eating promotion, as long as the school is sensible and not OTT

hotfuzzra · 11/03/2015 16:10

Or find out what the school dinners are, send him in for one, then send him in with a similarly worded letter to the head.

WorraLiberty · 11/03/2015 16:11

How annoying! I'd just ignore it and keep doing it, plus adding other so called inappropriate items!

You'd really advocate doing this to an 8yr old, rather than speaking to the school?

geebie · 11/03/2015 16:11

I agree with you OP, it's ridiculous. My DD doesn't go to school yet but I am dreading the lunchbox policing!

When I was teaching (albeit secondary, so slightly different), we only once in ten years considered contacting a parent about food a child was coming in with, and that was when there was a pattern of takeaway food coming in on a regular basis.

Hope your DS enjoyed his marshmallow, and I hope that by the time my DD goes to school parents will have a bit of credit given back to them for being able to make sensible choices, and that such letters are only sent home where there's a clear and genuine cause for concern!

FernGullysWoollyPully · 11/03/2015 16:13

I've had the same at our school.

I put all the kids a mini packet of haribo in their lunchboxes, it's 9 sweets in the packet, I've counted.

4 year old returned very upset that she wasn't allowed to eat them despite eating all of her lunch and having no other sweet treats in the packup that day.

Funny thing is, the school are always handing out sweets for this or that childs birthday, they get chocolate buttons for good work and the dinner lady regularly gives her 'favourites' a sweet or 2 if they are good at lunchtime.

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 16:14

My son's school provide the following for school dinners:

Chips, pizza, burgers, sausage rolls.

Cakes, biscuits, chocolate puddings, sweet muffins, toffee and chocolate cracknel.

They are not allowed to bring in 'sweets' so that's ok, then. Confused

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 16:16

Good point, FernGully, the standard school reward is sweets.

hotfuzzra · 11/03/2015 16:17

You'd really advocate doing this to an 8yr old, rather than speaking to the school?
"Doing this"; you make it sound like a matter of abuse! If your question is would I continue feeding my child healthy foods plus maybe occasional 'treat' foods too, then yes, I would.

Original poster
InTheWhiteRoom · 11/03/2015 16:21

yeah I have seen some of the shite that they serve up if the dc have hot meals

and believe me my pack ups are way more healthy, single marshmallow or no Grin

just fucks me off, who the fuck do they think they are

OP posts:
WorraLiberty · 11/03/2015 16:22

"Doing this" as in placing an 8yr old in an awkward position between parent and school, instead of speaking to the school like an adult.

Not sure where you got the 'matter of abuse' from? Confused

CupidStuntSurvivor · 11/03/2015 16:26

Have a quick meeting with the head explaining that you'll reconsider your DC's lunch box contents once they become less healthy than what's served up in their school dinners?

captainfarrell · 11/03/2015 16:30

Oh dear that really is taking things too far! I would be very cross. Sounds like the rest of the lunch is very healthy. They have just used a stock letter that covers every instant. How have they got the time to check very child's lunch box? Priorities all wrong.

hotfuzzra · 11/03/2015 16:36

I don't think speaking to the school would help. If the packed lunch is a healthy balanced meal then I'd be angry for them to imply I am giving my child unhealthy food, to the detriment of my child's health!
(Autocorrect just changed that to childs' sheath!!! Glad I spotted it!)

TwoOddSocks · 11/03/2015 16:36

I'm with Worralliberty obvious way OTT over 1 marshmallow in an otherwise healthy lunch- although if they have a no sweet policy I guess you might have expected it.

However I do think it's reasonable for the school to set some limits on what comes into a pack lunch, obviously it'd be ridiculous to have higher standards for packed lunches than school dinners and they shouldn't be as OTT as they appear to be in your case.

Middlerose · 11/03/2015 16:37

I think you need to calm down OP. It was probably just a standard letter that they give to every child with something unreasonable in their lunchbox.

Did they confiscate the marshmallow?

Fauxlivia · 11/03/2015 16:43

worra I certainly think that as the parent it is up to me what goes in the packed lunch!

I take the view that when the school pays for it then they can choose. Until then they can bugger off.

Luckily my dc are at a school with a nice normal head, who recognises that it's my job to parent, and so behaves accordingly.

NaiceVillageOfTheDammed · 11/03/2015 16:43

blog.plushpuffs.com/what-guys-do-with-giant-two-pound-marshmallows/

Ah admit it OP - it was one of these (see pic on opening page) Grin

MrsHathaway · 11/03/2015 16:44

Who do they think they are? Well, they're in loco fucking parentis for a start.

"Oh well it's ok for Sammy to have a marshmallow because he's eaten all his quinoa, but Johnny you can't have your Haribo because Mummy sent you with Doritos and Peperami again."

Marshmallows are a major choking hazard. And why do children need sweets in their lunchbox anyway? Hand it over at 3pm when they're your responsibility again.

If you're that bothered by what he eats at lunchtime, take him home for lunch. While he's eating at school he has to follow school rules.

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 16:46

Yes, because we are all hanging around at lunchtime all day. Not at work or anything.