aibu to think the school can get fucked telling me what i can and can't put in packups

[InTheWhiteRoom]

ds is 8

he came home with a letter saying his pack up today was inappropriate. it was a very patronising letter "we promote healthy eating" and all that shit.... i can only assume this is because as I put a marshmallow in his pack up. a SINGLE marshmallow. along with his sandwich (cheese salad on granary) 2 bits of fruit and a yoghurt.

aibu to think I am the parent and I decide what goes in lunches?

jeez anyone would think his pack up was a can of coke and a packet of biscuits.

[assumimg there is a no sweet policy in operation]

OP, if you won't follow the school's rules, why would your children think that they have to?

Genuinely sorry if I've missed something, but I can't see where the OP says there's a 'no-sweets' rule.

I love 'pack-up' for a packed lunch. Is it a northern English term? Where I used to live your packed lunch was your snap. Love that too.

tbh I never did like stupid rules and never adhered to them and never will

What an amazing role model you are to ?our children. Not.

I wonder if the OP has 'issues' with other areas of school policy or authority and thinks the school have no right to 'dictate' to her about ......perhaps taking time off school in term time, uniform, homework, arriving on time.....

As someone said earlier, the marshmallow is a smokescreen and really this is an issue about wanting to be able to do exactly what she likes, and not liking the idea of anyone being able to tell her what to do.

Most schools have some parents who want to create a fight out of every little thing - they see the school or the LEA as out to get them, as the enemy who need to be fought. It is the impact on the children that is most concerning, because they too are likely to develop an attitude that the rules don't apply to them either.

Quite simply, large organisations need rules. The rules need to apply consistently to everyone for the institution to function efficiently. Unless there is a very good reason why the rule shouldn't apply to us, we should just accept it. If we think we can't, a polite discussion about it, rather than an aggressive 'the school can get fucked' approach is usually more productive.

"tbh I never did like stupid rules and never adhered to them and never will"

Oh God, how boring. One of them.

I'd be irritated to OP, and justified in being so if the rest of the week's lunches were balanced. (not interested in labelling foods healthy or unhealthy but there's little positive to say nutritionally about a marshmallow - that's just of the joy of it).

But please don't send DS into school with more sweets. It's not fair on him at all, it's your axe to grind, not his. Don't be a pain in the arse.

FWIW I think it's fair enough to request no sweets in lunch boxes.

yeah we call it "snap" as well onlylovers we are sort of north :o

I am not really going to send more sweets in therealmary ...hence my ;) at the end of the haribo comment

as much as I'd love to

Was the child actually allowed to eat the offending marshmallow?

DS2 wasn't allowed to eat a jam sandwich once, because it "wasn't healthy". (It was a pudding sandwich cut into a pretty shape, and he'd already eaten the tuna sandwich, carrot sticks, hummus and yogurt).

Bonkers!!
Our primary is much more laid back.
My DS had 5 marshmallows today.
And.....wait for it........a kit Kat
He had a cheese salad sandwich, fruit, yoghurt and some olives too.
He is 10 years old weighs 4 stone & is a skinny bean.
So glad our school is not like yours op.

I'm from right down south, and I've always called it a pack-up!! OP YANBU, this would really annoy me. Thankfully the DC's school appears to be less hung up on this sort of thing. Also, I'd want the school to be perfect in all other areas before they started haranguing me for a single, lone, solitary marshmallow!!

DS2 wasn't allowed to eat a jam sandwich once, because it "wasn't healthy". (It was a pudding sandwich cut into a pretty shape, and he'd already eaten the tuna sandwich, carrot sticks, hummus and yogurt

that is bonkers lynette . jeez

and no he wasn't allowed to eat it, ds says it was taken away from him perhaps for nutritional analysis in a lab :o

and yeah avoncalling Also, I'd want the school to be perfect in all other areas before they started haranguing me for a single, lone, solitary marshmallow

Lynette wow not allowed to eat a jam sandwich, now that is harsh. I think a pudding jam sandwich cut into a pretty shape is a great idea.

Schools seem to obsess about what goes in to packed lunches. They dont seem to have the same standards in to what goes in to their lunches. From what I hear off my granddaughter they don't sound all that healthy. Sometimes they get an ice lolly for desert.

I'm a big fan of blanket bans on things like sweets in lunchboxes meself.

Is this a parallel universe where sweets in lunch boxes is ok? Because I don't think sweets have ever been allowed, even in the olden days when I was at school and lunch was a white bread sandwich, packet of crisps, chocolate bar and a carton of Ribena with the same wizened apple going back all week.

I'm no fan of the lunch box police and their low carb, no crisps, no cake but cereal bars are ok, fat free nonsense but sending sweets into school is madness! Keep the treats at home because your kid eating sweets in front of the others is really not a good idea.

The school can "get fucked"?

Nice.

Agree with Moving
Yabu -particularly for the use of pack up!

There is a 'healthy eating policy' at DD's school but it only seems to apply to packed lunches.

Kids eating school dinners get chips, chocolate cake, biscuits etc.

And, the teachers hand out sweets regularly as rewards.

DD eats school dinners, I think she'd be a bit fed up eating her carrot sticks when everyone around her was munching cake.

Lots of rules are stupid, break the stupid ones.

Schools seem to obsess about what goes in to packed lunches. They dont seem to have the same standards in to what goes in to their lunches. From what I hear off my granddaughter they don't sound all that healthy. Sometimes they get an ice lolly for desert

exactly, what I hear about the school dinners, they really are not great. and always have a pudding like cake or something

one friend of mine started her dd on school meals at the beginning of term after Christmas, and has just taken her off them as she was gaining weight

Lots of rules are stupid, break the stupid ones

^^ this :o

It's a ridiculous "one rule fits all" again. Common sense should have told the staff that the lunch had a tiny little treat in it, alongside a healthy lunch. Save the snotty letters for those parents who send their kids to school with nothing but leftover pizza and biscuits.

Personally I think a packed lunch is healthier than the school meals at my ds's school.

There is cake & custard everyday. Ds says his friends often leave the main meal and just eat the pudding!

Ds has packed lunch which is a sandwich (wholemeal tuna/egg Mayo/ cheese) fruit or veg sticks, yogurt & water (his choice). He wont have anything else because he says the lunch time staff make them eat everything in their lunch box before they can go out to play!

(a) Some schools remove packets of a few sweets from lunchboxes.

(b) Some schools give out sweets as rewards.

(c) Do the schools in (b) get the sweets from (a)? That's stealing.

A marshmallow is 98% fluff.
Even so, the rules are there to benefit everybody.
Not sure they are on a par with fishbones though .
Unless its a old style wide Wagon Wheel being shoved in one go.