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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

aibu to think the school can get fucked telling me what i can and can't put in packups

348 replies

InTheWhiteRoom · 11/03/2015 16:05

ds is 8

he came home with a letter saying his pack up today was inappropriate. it was a very patronising letter "we promote healthy eating" and all that shit.... i can only assume this is because as I put a marshmallow in his pack up. a SINGLE marshmallow. along with his sandwich (cheese salad on granary) 2 bits of fruit and a yoghurt.

aibu to think I am the parent and I decide what goes in lunches?

jeez anyone would think his pack up was a can of coke and a packet of biscuits.

OP posts:

livefastlove · 11/03/2015 16:47

As much as I agree it is unfair that school lunches can be less healthy and that school is not the food police, it can also be a good time to reduce the sugary treats and get the kids used to eating a healthy lunch, they can still have treats at home.

Pancakeflipper · 11/03/2015 16:47

A lot of drama over 1 marshmallow. I sent my DS2 to school with a marshmallow in his tub of fruit the other day. No letter for but the school is rather sensible and only intervene if the child has repeatedly crap lunches.

I still giggle at the child in DS1's class who had one of those big-as-your-head stripey candy lollies you get from the seaside for his dessert. That was removed and given back at the end of the day.

squoosh · 11/03/2015 16:47

YANBU

Ridiculous reaction to one measly marshmallow.

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 16:48

If school dinners are sugary shite, how on earth does that get kids used to having a healthy lunch?

CloserToFiftyThanTwenty · 11/03/2015 16:50

Exactly MrsHathaway - the school has policies on all sorts of things (uniform, homework, phonics...) and you don't get to pick and choose the ones you want to respect

assessment · 11/03/2015 16:52

I'd find out what the school dinner was that day, and do a side by side nutritional analysis and send it to the head.

WorraLiberty · 11/03/2015 16:54

worra I certainly think that as the parent it is up to me what goes in the packed lunch!

I take the view that when the school pays for it then they can choose. Until then they can bugger off.

Really? So you'd think it acceptable for a child to have nothing but a tube of jaffa cakes for lunch, because it's what the parent decided?

Try teaching 30 kids on a sugar rush and see if you still think the same way

SoupDragon · 11/03/2015 16:54

why do children need sweets in their lunchbox anyway?

Why do children need sugar laden desserts for school meals anyway?

HandMini · 11/03/2015 16:57

If the school rules say no sweets in pack ups, then YABU.

You choose to break that rule, I'm sure you can also choose to not really care that much when you get a letter home about how you broke a rule.

If this kind of thing makes you irate, stick within the guidance.

Marshmallows for all at 3.05pm

assessment · 11/03/2015 16:58

Maybe the school rules are fucking stupid though?

SoonToBeSix · 11/03/2015 17:00

Is packup normal shorthand for a packed lunch? I have never heard that before. You are right though it's non of the schools business.

HubertCumberdale · 11/03/2015 17:01

Parents shouldn't be able to send their kids off to school with shit junk food just because they are the parents. It's the teachers that have to manage the kids who've got attention and energy issues through bad diets.

OP I'm not saying your lunch was shit, it sounded lovely and spot on, but the idea that you can do whatever you like because you're a parent is a bit off.

Shakirasma · 11/03/2015 17:01

Yes again lunchtime staff get a hammering. I swear dinner ladies are treated with more contempt than used car salesmen on MN

OP, it does seem a little unreasonable but your reaction is a bitOTT too., rather like a disgruntled teenager. If you do speak to the school about it you need to be calm and well mannered for them to take you seriously.

Fairyfellowsmasterstroke · 11/03/2015 17:03

School's have no legal requirement to care for children over lunchtime.

If you don't like the rules take your child home - problem sorted.

assessment · 11/03/2015 17:04

Fairy, both sentences of your post are complete bollocks

SoupDragon · 11/03/2015 17:05

Yes again lunchtime staff get a hammering. I swear dinner ladies are treated with more contempt than used car salesmen on MN

Where has anyone hammered the lunchtime staff or been contemptuous of dinner ladies here?

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 17:05

OP specifically said one marshmallow.

Is that hard to follow?

SDTGisAnEvilWolefGenius · 11/03/2015 17:06

SoonToBeSix - I think 'pack-up' is a Scottish term for a packed lunch.

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 17:07

I could chuck my son a chicken kebab over the railings and it would be healthier than the on-site options.

FreudiansSlipper · 11/03/2015 17:10

I get your point that it is only one marshmallow

but you have been asked not to pack ANY sweets in your child's packed lunch

one or ten sweets is going against what they have asked

you know if the rule was children are allowed 2 marshmallows or 2 haribos that parents would push it and do as they please

just save them for after school

Fauxlivia · 11/03/2015 17:12

worra, I was a secondary school teacher so have taught 30 kids who'd just had lunch consisting of chips, pizza and whatever sweets they got from the vending machines. I still consider provision of lunch to be the parent's responsibility.

There's also a huge difference between sending a kid to school everyday with nothing but jaffa cakes (which would involve the school at a welfare level) and a sending a kid with a basically sound lunch plus the odd sweet. The school should show some common sense and not be so bloody rude to the OP.

Sidge · 11/03/2015 17:12

Well if they have a "no sweets" policy then that means "no sweets".

Yes you are the parent, but if you choose to send your child to that school then you are agreeing to abide by their policies.

And a child can cope for 6 hours without sweets I'm sure. They don't need sweet treats in their lunchbox. If it's a daily staple of their lunch then it isn't a treat.

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 17:13

The marshmallow wasn't a sweet.

In this context it was a pudding. Like the children who have school meals get.

TantrumsAndBalloons · 11/03/2015 17:15

The "sugar laden" desserts are actually anything but, afaik.

They are sugar free, fat free, (taste free) cakes with beetroot and other veg in them. Well they are at ds2 school anyway.

Not that I am advocating school dinners and how healthy they are- ds2 had pasta and a jacket potato yesterday. And possibly fish fingers. He thinks they were either fish or chicken.

But..the school dinner kids aren't eating great slabs of proper chocolate cake whilst the packed lunch kids can't even have a marshmallow.

Tbh...yes. 1 marshmallow/mini Haribos/whatever isn't the end of the world. But- if the school rules say no sweets, why even put them in?

LineRunner · 11/03/2015 17:15

Where's all this choice about where you send your child to school?

Have you seen the admission stats set against most people's income these last few years?

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