My friend keeps using this racist term

[Mrsbird311]

A really good friend has on the last couple of occasions used this term to describe someone from Pakistan each time I've said to her that people don't use that term and that it's very offensive but she won't have it, she says its just short for Pakistan, like we would call a Scottish person a scot, I don't see it like this and told her that it is really offensive she then got cross with me and said I'd gone all PC on her, I told her she sounded like an Alf garnet type bigot, I know she isn't a racist person in the slightest but she can't see this is offensive who is BU?

She was describing my brother in law( who is in fact Indian) she wasn't speaking negativity about him just dropped the P word, she is in her fifties so she should know better but is very stubborn and doesn't like to be in the wrong iyswim, I'm glad it wasn't me BU and I'm glad I pulled her up on it as she might think on it and although not admit to being wrong she might stop using the term

bertie does your workplace have a diversity policy or a code of conduct re racist language?

So OP are you planning to maintain contact with this racist?

I think it's quite obvious why it's offensive in the UK to call someone that name, Eve - because of the racial hatred that went with it in the 1970s and 1980s in particular. The spraypainting of the term on windows, doors, fences - homes being firebombed, the bullying and spitting, etc. etc. It's not that long ago and I remember it happening - being on the news, seeing it in certain areas around. I remember it very well - but not as much as people who would have been on the back end of it, of course!

I cannot even type the term because it has such deep historical meaning. I flinch every time I hear it on the News here in Australia. EVERY time.

It's racist and it literally makes me shudder.

Hate hate hate the word and couldn't speak to someone that used it.

It was racist to use it in the 1980s. It's not a new thing. To use it about someone who is Indian as she did kills any specious argument that it's short for Pakistani.

I put it in my title because I really wasn't sure if I was being unreasonable or not , hence putting it in AIBU , I once said something about someone being a pansy about something to a gay friend of mine, he was really offended, explained that he had been bullied at school and called that , I apologised and no longer use that word but I really didn't think at the time, so I was wondering if I was being over sensitive

I agree. In this country it is a racist term.

However, in Australia it's commonly used to mean the Pakistani cricket team, for instance (in the same way we might say the "Aussies"). If she's Australian and lives in the UK - she needs to be told that some phrases do not translate across borders.

Hang on, if, as a few people have said, people of Pakistani origin are using it, would it still be offensive to use it in front of them? ( let me guess, yes, 'cos they've reclaimed the word but only they can use it or some such bollox?)

I will be minimising contact with her, we live miles from each other so don't see each other often but won't be in any hurry to meet up

She is BU and racist.

Even if she does know some people of Pakistani origin who may have appropriated the term, it makes no difference. The vast majority of people in this country still find it deeply offensive.

Anyone who persists in using offensive and derogatory terms even after it has been pointed out to them simply isn't worth the time of day IMHO.

Anyone who persists in using offensive and derogatory terms even after it has been pointed out to them simply isn't worth the time of day IMHO
does that apply to Pakistani people too?

Your reaction is the normal one for someone causing unwitting offence OP. Someone calls you on it, you apologise and don't use it again.

For someone who won't even type out bollocks to be arguing their right to be offensive ...

The guy who owns my local shop is from pakistan and he calls himself a paki

I never know sheer to put myself when he says it.

*where

She is. It is very racist. I also have Pakistani colleagues wantto and they would never use it either.

Would you use the n word just because rappers often use it themselves?

No.

Sorry sukie don't understand what you mean? bollox/ bollocks, I thought they were sort of interchangeable slang spellings? Prepared to be corrected though.

does that apply to Pakistani people too?

Yes, of course, why wouldn't it?

Obviously, people can self-identify in whatever way they choose, and that will vary from person to person, but that's a different matter.

Please let's not kid ourselves that all people of Pakistani origin are merrily using the term "paki" to describe themselves. They're not. And neither are the many other people of other Asian origin who were also described as "pakis". If some Pakistani people choose to use it in relation to themselves, then that is their choice - just as some black people have appropriated the N-word. That doesn't make it acceptable for anyone else to use the term, and people who don't wish to cause offence would be wise not to do so.

Of course, those who are determined to offend will use whatever language they please, and then bang on about PC gorn mad...

Never said I wanted to be offensive. I want to know if people are offended by Pakistani people calling themselves pakis?

Totally off topic, but I think it's spelt bollocks adsy as it is the plural of the singular bollock.

Being an Aussie I've heard the word many times and it was never used or meant offensively. So what is the correct term for a person from Pakistan? The equivalent of for example, Aussie, Scot or Swede.

The Spanish call the British 'brits' and not in a nice way either

I think it's offensive

Question: if someone you know routinely uses this word about themselves (Asian), do you ask them not to in your presence? Would you get short shrift if you asked? I would struggle to hear it being used casually, regardless of the ethnicity of the speaker. Like other 4-letter words, I don't want to hear any of them bandied around casually.