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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has asked me to start a thread in AIBU. He will go with the majority.

213 replies

Showy · 10/03/2015 17:50

I am a SAHM. I have a handful of useless degrees. I am not paying back my student loan atm on account of my 'homemaker' status (SLC's term, not mine). They have all my relevant details. They know I have no income, am a 'homemaker' and they have my NI number, the fact I have two young children etc on record.

The Student Loan Company have written to tell me that DH must provide proof of the 'value of his support' in the form of 3 months of bank statements. They are very clear in their letter and on the phone that not providing his bank statements will be taken as me trying to get out of repaying my loan and they will 'take steps'.

DH wants to know if he IBU to...

Think his bank statements are none of their business.
Think his bank statements prove absolutely bog all in terms of my student loan.
Send a snippy letter accompanying his bank statements.
Object to the notion that he 'supports' me rather than being married to me in an equal partnership.

He is quite cross. I am not a bit cross and want to just send the statements (which he is right, prove nothing at all in terms of whether I have money I am hiding from them). I've told him he should not be sending snippy letters to people who are just doing their jobs. He is poised and about to lick his stamp.

So...

IHBU?

OP posts:
MyNeighbourIsHorrid · 10/03/2015 17:52

DH is right, it's none of their business. I'd send nothing but the snippy letter stating this.

TheFairyCaravan · 10/03/2015 17:52

HINBU. I'd tell them to fuck off if I was him.

mameulah · 10/03/2015 17:53

No your DH INBU.

I wouldn't be sending off any statements to do with any debt unless it was my own debt.

flora717 · 10/03/2015 17:53

My husband did not have to. This is not necessary. Tell the SLC to do one. A letter confirming support exists is more than playing nice with ththem.

Bair · 10/03/2015 17:53

HINBU.

flora717 · 10/03/2015 17:54

Ours said. I confirm Mrs does not work nor receive benefits. Please contact her in future.

LadySybilLikesSloeGin · 10/03/2015 17:54

DH is right.

Theoldcauliflower · 10/03/2015 17:55

NBU he's right!

ilikebaking · 10/03/2015 17:55

Good god, we were in the exact same situation but my DH sent a snippy letter
"Dear SLC, I am MRilikebaking, my wife does not work as she is the size of a house, carrying our baby and she will not work for a long time after. I pay for everything she and the baby needs. If she does ever earn money again, she will let you know. Good day. Mr Baking."
They didn't write back and I am now earning money, which they know about :)
What utter loonies!!!!

Fanjango · 10/03/2015 17:55

They don't need to know. It's a loan with repayments based on your income not his. Tell them to stuff it!

MrsTedCrilly · 10/03/2015 17:55

I've had this recently and I just sent my partners statements so they would stop writing to me.. if you don't send them then they will assume you can afford to pay it back, outline the monthly payments and then take steps when they aren't paid on time as they'll fall into collections.
I totally get what he means though, how on earth does it prove anything! But for a quiet life I would send them.

HomeIsWhereTheHeartIs · 10/03/2015 17:55

HINBU.
I have neither a student loan nor any experience of them, btw.

ilikebaking · 10/03/2015 17:55

I wouldnt have sent statements. None of their business at all!

Nervo · 10/03/2015 17:55

Tell him to get that stamp licked.

kilmuir · 10/03/2015 17:56

why is he liable for your debt?

SwirlyThingAlert · 10/03/2015 17:57

I'm a SAHM with a student loan. I've always had to provide a letter written and signed by my husband to say he 'provides' for me Hmm and a copy of MY bank statements. Not his.
It's not his debt, his bank statements should be nothing to do with it. If they're asking for bank statements, they should mean yours not his.

gallicgirl · 10/03/2015 17:57

HINBU and should tell SLC to jog on.

there are lots of very long threads about this issue here on mumsnet and also on community action group. Google erudio student loans and they'll crop up.

Hakluyt · 10/03/2015 17:57

He is right. Your student loan is your business, not his. This is not a precedent the we should be encouraging.

wigglesrock · 10/03/2015 17:58

When you filled in your deferral form, did he not have to write a letter confirming that he supports you. That's what we've always done, I just sent off my deferral application and his letter last week, there was no mention of bank statements. Although I haven't got confirmation that my deferral has been accepted yet. We've been doing it like this for three years or so. Although my loan is really old if that makes a difference.

YoniMitchell · 10/03/2015 17:58

HINBU. His bank statements prove nothing re. your loans.

AlternativeTentacles · 10/03/2015 17:58

It is based on your income surely?

He is right. Snippy letter and NO bank statements. You hear me OP's DH?

FenellaFellorick · 10/03/2015 17:58

What exactly will his bank statements tell them about your earnings?

Fair enough if it was a joint account but if it's just in his name? And he is under no obligation to repay your student loan so why do they want to know how much he has? Are they then going to argue that part of his 'support' is to pay off your student loan?

SwirlyThingAlert · 10/03/2015 17:58

The Hmm face because it's so bloody 1950's and STUPID. Grin

jay55 · 10/03/2015 17:59

They are overstepping. He should tell them to do one.

FunkyPeacock · 10/03/2015 18:00

I agree with your DH

In his position I would refuse to send copies of my bank statements to SL too!