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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has asked me to start a thread in AIBU. He will go with the majority.

213 replies

Showy · 10/03/2015 17:50

I am a SAHM. I have a handful of useless degrees. I am not paying back my student loan atm on account of my 'homemaker' status (SLC's term, not mine). They have all my relevant details. They know I have no income, am a 'homemaker' and they have my NI number, the fact I have two young children etc on record.

The Student Loan Company have written to tell me that DH must provide proof of the 'value of his support' in the form of 3 months of bank statements. They are very clear in their letter and on the phone that not providing his bank statements will be taken as me trying to get out of repaying my loan and they will 'take steps'.

DH wants to know if he IBU to...

Think his bank statements are none of their business.
Think his bank statements prove absolutely bog all in terms of my student loan.
Send a snippy letter accompanying his bank statements.
Object to the notion that he 'supports' me rather than being married to me in an equal partnership.

He is quite cross. I am not a bit cross and want to just send the statements (which he is right, prove nothing at all in terms of whether I have money I am hiding from them). I've told him he should not be sending snippy letters to people who are just doing their jobs. He is poised and about to lick his stamp.

So...

IHBU?

OP posts:
SylvaniansAtEase · 10/03/2015 18:42

He doesn't need to prove the value of his support.

It is nothing to do with them unless his support includes employing you, PAYE, perhaps as Socialite on My Arm, to the tune of £overwhatthestudentloansthresholdis.

You and he don't have to justify jack shit. The only contract you have with student loans is to start paying them when you earn over x. Your private life, indeed ANY other part of your life, is None Of Their Business.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 18:42

SLs are not like benefits. They are loans which have to be repaid with interest - so the opposite of benefits in just about every way possible Grin

Basically you borrow to fund your university studies. I borrowed about £11,000 which seemed an utter fortune ten years ago but with £9,000pa fees it seems like a piss in the ocean

Then every year you earn above the threshold (currently £16190) you have to pay back a repayment until you pay it off or retire. How much you pay is tiered depending on how much you earn. If you are PAYE it is deducted at source by your employer. If you are self employed it is collected via your tax return.

Interest on the loan is currently 1.5%. If you earn below the threshold you don't have to pay. Eventually the debt can be written off.

The debt cannot be transferred and it is not the responsibility of anybody except the person who took it out. Payment is solely dependent on their income unless they decide to make a voluntary contribution.

Topseyt · 10/03/2015 18:43

Just adding my voice to the chorus. It isn't his loan, it is all based around you and your income, not his. It shouldn't be anything to do with him, and they ought to know that.

I wonder if they are just trying to intimidate you with the "taking steps" thing. It would frighten some people into paying, but you don't have to. You are not in breach of the loan conditions, so surely they cannot do anything. It may be just bluster. Tackle them on it. I guess they will huff and puff and pretend that they are doing you some huge favour when they finally decide to stick to their side of the agreement.

CaTsMaMmA · 10/03/2015 18:43

I'd refer them t the National Insurance and Inland Revenue.....if they are not getting anything from you then case closed

wtf is value of support??

redcaryellowcar · 10/03/2015 18:45

I don't think he's being at all unreasonable and if I was in the same situation I wouldn't be sending dhs bank statements. If I remember correctly your repayments would be based on your earnings, not if you happened to marry a well heeled chap or otherwise??

Isittimeforsandalsyet · 10/03/2015 18:45

I'm in a similar position to you OP.

I've been contacted by them twice now asking how I support myself. When I told them that my husband supports me, they asked me to send in a letter from him saying that he supports me.

I don't mind sending the information, I think it's fair enough that they should ask.

What irritates me is the disjointed nature of it all. The information is all out there in official sources with various Government departments. We are legally married, registered by the council as living together, fill in tax returns etc, etc. It would be fairly obvious to anyone taking a look at that information that my husband supports me, so why do they have to come to me for the information?

Oh well.

maninawomansworld · 10/03/2015 18:46

All you need to send them is YOUR tax return showing that you've earned nothing in the last 12 months.

Amummyatlast · 10/03/2015 18:46

Whiles i don't think it's reasonable,I also don't think it's sexist, given that they ask the same of SAHDs. I had to provide a letter for my DH, but I don't remember having to provide banks statements or wage slips.

Want2bSupermum · 10/03/2015 18:46

showy that is not right. Think about it..... credit card debt in my name only. DH might earn loads but if the card is in my name only the debt is unsecured and they can't come after DH in any way.

It is the same with a student loan. They cannot come after your DH and they have ZERO right to demand anything from him. You entered into this loan before you married so the agreement is between them and you. Nothing to do with your DH and there is no reason for him to provide anything to them regarding your income status. That is between you and inland revenue. If they want to verify such information they should go through the proper channels. Getting a spouse to 'vouch' for their other half is a joke. If in doubt, investigate. Knock on the door.

Oh and yes it is the biggest nightmare. What they don't realize is that I will not stop fighting them. They want me to pay back almost GBP20k.

dixiechick1975 · 10/03/2015 18:47

My grandma never knew what my grandad earned.

Maybe he can write and say as man of the house he is not prepared to divulge his earnings. He gives you 3 shillings housekeeping and that is the end of it.

Why are husbands being written to in 2015???

You state you are not working/earning under limit they can check with HMRC.

Nothing surprises me re SLC after DH's experience with them.

TalkinPeace · 10/03/2015 18:48

maninawomans
why would OP have a tax return?

MissMaimieBaldwin · 10/03/2015 18:48

you need to prove your value of support Confused, codswallop!

It is your debt in your name, as them to send request in writing then get in touch with your mp, your husbands private bank dealings are private and nothing to do with your student loan.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 18:49

You could be dripping with diamonds your husband bought you and living in a fuck-off castle which you occasionally fly from in the family helicopter to shop at Harrods with his Black Amex... and they still wouldn't have any right to make you pay unless you had a personal income of £16,910 per annum.

Even if your husband deposited a million quid of "housekeeping" into your account every month they wouldn't have a right to demand payment of your student loan.

What, exactly do they think the nature of your work for your husband is? Hmm

Jux · 10/03/2015 18:50

My loan was written years ago, but I am horrified that they require any information from anyone other than the debtor. Do banks do this? No.

How dare they?

londonrach · 10/03/2015 18:50

Dh is right. Your debt not his!!!!

NotMrsTumble · 10/03/2015 18:57

Made me seethe the first time dh had to write to them and tell them he was supporting me. Seethed a lot more last year when they wanted all sorts - my P60, 3 months wage slips (I suspect because I am just under the repayment threshold on the very old style loan). The repayments aren't based on household income, they're based solely on the borrowers income. It's absolutely bonkers that they are asking to see dh's bank statements. Having said that, it Will be the easiest way to get rid of them, I'd send it but be tempted to black out 95% of transactions and say the 5% is your "support".

WellWhoKnew · 10/03/2015 18:57

Dear SLC,

I confirm that my wife is a marvellous homemaker and I love her very much. I am writing to confirm that she is such a marvellous contributor to our marriage, and family, that I am probably seriously underpaying her. But we are limited in our income, partly because my wife doesn't work, and partly because we don't own a money tree.

But, I very much resent you implying my wife is a liar and a criminal. She has told you she isn't working. It would be a criminal for her to mislead you on this matter, and I for one, would take a very dim view of my wife, if it transpired she was out gallivanting at work, when she assures me she is tending to our family and home. She didn't write the rules, she is merely abiding by the terms of the contract that you and she agreed when she took the loan.

Now, kindly go away and leave me alone.

Husband.

[In a letter written by my nearly former husband many years ago, we asked them for advice on whether his supporting me was tax deductable, and could he have a rebate if so - they never did respond]

ToBeeOrNot · 10/03/2015 19:05

Does this relate to the new student loans (post 1998) or just the mortgage style ones?

I thought it related to pre 1998 loans but people are talking about the post 1998 repayment threshold.

Want2bSupermum · 10/03/2015 19:06

Asking for a spouse to vouch for the income status of the non-working spouse isn't sexual discrimination, it is just plain discrimination. Their request implies that a non-working spouse can't be trusted but a working spouse can be. That is discriminatory. Just because you don't work doesn't mean you are less than.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 19:07

It's indirect sex discrimination because the majority of people who are deferring because they are looking after children will be women.

EhricLovesTheBhrothers · 10/03/2015 19:09

They can 'take steps' all they like but they won't take you to court as it costs money and they will lose! If you aren't working you aren't liable to pay back and that's it.
In future, just ignore them.

nokidshere · 10/03/2015 19:10

Surely if its your loan and not his then they are breaking the Data protection rules anyway by discussing your financial situation with anyone but yourself?

morethanpotatoprints · 10/03/2015 19:10

HINBU none of their damn business.
They can take it further, let them because they will find exactly what you have told them to be true.

I can see how you just want it sorted though, but its the principle.
I am with your dh Thanks

SetTheWorldOnFire · 10/03/2015 19:12

Wrong on many levels, your DP's income & bank statements have no relevance to your loan!

stayathomegardener · 10/03/2015 19:16

Your DH INBU