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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has asked me to start a thread in AIBU. He will go with the majority.

213 replies

Showy · 10/03/2015 17:50

I am a SAHM. I have a handful of useless degrees. I am not paying back my student loan atm on account of my 'homemaker' status (SLC's term, not mine). They have all my relevant details. They know I have no income, am a 'homemaker' and they have my NI number, the fact I have two young children etc on record.

The Student Loan Company have written to tell me that DH must provide proof of the 'value of his support' in the form of 3 months of bank statements. They are very clear in their letter and on the phone that not providing his bank statements will be taken as me trying to get out of repaying my loan and they will 'take steps'.

DH wants to know if he IBU to...

Think his bank statements are none of their business.
Think his bank statements prove absolutely bog all in terms of my student loan.
Send a snippy letter accompanying his bank statements.
Object to the notion that he 'supports' me rather than being married to me in an equal partnership.

He is quite cross. I am not a bit cross and want to just send the statements (which he is right, prove nothing at all in terms of whether I have money I am hiding from them). I've told him he should not be sending snippy letters to people who are just doing their jobs. He is poised and about to lick his stamp.

So...

IHBU?

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 18:19

I agree with your DH and I have a feeling the Information Commissioner is not very happy with this kind of fishing expedition.

However, like you I'd want it dealt with quickly. I'm not afraid of much but the thought of an HMRC investigation makes me feel all hot and panicky, even though I've not done anything wrong.

JockTamsonsBairns · 10/03/2015 18:21

Your Dh is right, they do not need proof of him "bankrolling" you Hmm. We had this recently, I got Dh to sign a statement saying we worked in conjunction with each other, ie he was out earning the money, while I was at home looking after the Dc's. They were happy with that.

Original poster
Showy · 10/03/2015 18:21

Vivienne, I did pay it off while working and will pay it off again when I go back. That's not the issue.

OP posts:
MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 18:22

Viviennemary nobody needs to be paying back the debt. The terms of the student loan for people in plan 1 is you must earn over £16,910. The op does not earn, therefore she doesn't need to pay anything back.

If she never earned enough the debt would eventually be written off.

Original poster
Showy · 10/03/2015 18:23

DH is cock-a-hoop at you all agreeing with him.

I am like you MovingOn. I just want them to go away. I don't like the implication that I'm diddling them.

OP posts:
canweseethebunnies · 10/03/2015 18:24

I got a similar request. I sent them a snippy email.

flora717 · 10/03/2015 18:26

I actually laughed down the phone when one said "then we'll need proof of you not earning". I've complained. How come my husband signing to say I don't earn carry more weight than me?

HeartsTrumpDiamonds · 10/03/2015 18:26

How utterly ridiculous, all of it. I love a unanimous AIBU - they don't happen often do they!

BrockAuLit · 10/03/2015 18:26

Bloody hell. How dare they threaten you?? "Take steps"?! What steps could they take?

You have declared that you have no income, and that you are a homemaker. It's just about reasonable that they can ask you how you survive, to which you could reply that your spouse supports you, seeing as you are making his and his children's home. That is the end of it. The SLC don't say anything about co-opting a spouse or parent into your financial obligations. They should bloody well contact him directly, if they had any right to do so (which they don't).

Seriously, before sending your DH's letter off I would ask them what these "steps" are that they might take. I suspect they will either threaten something that will require a lot of legwork on their part first (getting some sort of order) or, more reasonably, nothing much.

I'm gobsmacked. SLC is a private company.

Want2bSupermum · 10/03/2015 18:28

Get them to put their request in writing. Once in writing use it as evidence of them being totally in the wrong. The administration of student loans have been worse than I ever thought it could be.

I have had nothing but a nightmare with SLC as I paid of my student loans in full the September after graduating. For some reason they never properly wrote off my loan. Fair enough, everyone makes mistakes so I had no problem digging up proof of payment two years later. Now, 12 years later they are calling my Dad to ask him if I am working! My Dad knows all about the student loan debacle and proceeded to tell them the whole story. They are now requesting proof of payment AGAIN. Now, this wouldn't normally be a problem but it is 12 years on and my bank don't have records anymore of those transactions and the account has now been closed for more than 5 years. I threw out the details after calling SLC to confirm everything was taken care of. Why would I ever think I would need it 10 years later!

I have spoken to our local MP as I know I am not the only one having a problem with them. I think the whole student loan idea is an almighty mess.

Also, inland revenue should be able to provide all the support they need regarding your income. What your OH earns is irrelevant and they are just trying it on to see if your DH will pay. I would most certainly not send anything to them. A significant other sending a letter to vouch for their nonworking partner is a HUGE step back for society. If you're not working and inland revenue have no record of you working then that should be enough corroborative evidence. How your lifestyle is funded is none of their damn business.

wheresthelight · 10/03/2015 18:28

ring them and talk to them!! I have had the same letter and all I had to do was send a letter from dp to advise he was supporting me financially. no bank statements or anything were needed in the end

hugoagogo · 10/03/2015 18:30

dh used to write a little note saying he supported me in the manner to which I had become accustomed; I don't bother any more and they don't seem interested, but then I do work p/t and pretty much always have.

Not sure I'd be snippy though...

HoldenCaulfield80 · 10/03/2015 18:30

I'd go with DH. But then I hate the SLC with an all-encompassing passion so may not be completely impartial Wink

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 18:31

I find the idea of husbands vouching for wives really, really depressing. Sexist tripe Angry

If it's just SLC asking and not HMRC then I'd tell them to get screwed. I'm not afraid of them. HMRC did once tell them I was earning when I wasn't (due to a cock up by previously employer still sending P60s after my redundancy - the P60s they couldn't send me Hmm) and they got a bit nasty and threatening... and nothing happened. Nothing at all.

I'd forgotten all about it until now!

AlPacinosHooHaa · 10/03/2015 18:33

wiggle we do same as you.

yes he can send snippy letter but you know they start to take money out of your account dont you whilst in dispute then take ages to pay it back

gallicgirl · 10/03/2015 18:33

Viviennemary, OP can defer her debt within the terms and conditions of the loan. She's under no obligation to pay while her personal income is under a certain limit.

Original poster
Showy · 10/03/2015 18:34

We rang them a couple of hours ago. Spoke to a very nice Scottish man. I was very nice to him. He verified I was who I said I was. Then I put DH on who asked said nice man why his bank statements proved anything about my income and he just said the same stock phrase several times. "You need to prove the value of your support".

Want2bsupermum, that sounds bloody awful. What a mess.

DH is now saying he won't send the statements. Which is his choice but it's ME they are threatening.

OP posts:
eyebags63 · 10/03/2015 18:34

Student finance? Tell them to fuck right off. None of their business what your DH earns. The loan was between you and them. YABU I'm afraid.

TarpalCunnel · 10/03/2015 18:35

Totally in agreement with your DH. I would love to see his full reply to them, on Tatty Teddy notepaper! Grin

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 18:35

I have had the same letter and all I had to do was send a letter from dp to advise he was supporting me financially

But this is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG. We are not chattels or appendages of our husbands.

The more I think about this the more fucking outrageous it is.

Honeydragon · 10/03/2015 18:35

I had a similar request, only they wanted a letter from dh. I refused to be referred to as home maker and insisted they put freelance freeloader.

The chap told me they would take further action if they didn't recieve a letter. I cheerily told him to go ahead. He said that they could take court action if necessary. I countered that it was an expensive way to see I wasn't currently in gainful employment and to go ahead. And I would continue making my VOLUNTARY payments as per usual, and wished him good luck in his endeavours. Heard nowt since.

bialystockandbloom · 10/03/2015 18:36

I don't know how it works, are Student Loans like benefits where the household income is taken into account? (e.g. years ago I was made redundant, but couldn't claim e.g. council tax benefit as DP was earning even though it was my flat at the time.) If so, is he legally obliged?

If not, then HINBU and should send the letter.

Honeydragon · 10/03/2015 18:38

No, he is not legally obliged to provide this info, or pay off the loan.

SylvaniansAtEase · 10/03/2015 18:39

He could send your statements, with a lovely passive aggressive covering letter saying that he assumed referring to HIS statements was an error, as after all, they have no contract with him and thus no right at all to ask for his personal data, and that his bank statements are useless to them as there is no link between these and a debt in someone else's name.

BrockAuLit · 10/03/2015 18:39

Don't be cowed by them, OP. They are threatening you, but theyre empty threats. And, actually, what are they threatening you with?!

Your DH is doing the right thing to refuse. Present a united front, tell them where to stick it. Gosh, the more I think about this the angrier I get. Such chancers!