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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DH has asked me to start a thread in AIBU. He will go with the majority.

213 replies

Showy · 10/03/2015 17:50

I am a SAHM. I have a handful of useless degrees. I am not paying back my student loan atm on account of my 'homemaker' status (SLC's term, not mine). They have all my relevant details. They know I have no income, am a 'homemaker' and they have my NI number, the fact I have two young children etc on record.

The Student Loan Company have written to tell me that DH must provide proof of the 'value of his support' in the form of 3 months of bank statements. They are very clear in their letter and on the phone that not providing his bank statements will be taken as me trying to get out of repaying my loan and they will 'take steps'.

DH wants to know if he IBU to...

Think his bank statements are none of their business.
Think his bank statements prove absolutely bog all in terms of my student loan.
Send a snippy letter accompanying his bank statements.
Object to the notion that he 'supports' me rather than being married to me in an equal partnership.

He is quite cross. I am not a bit cross and want to just send the statements (which he is right, prove nothing at all in terms of whether I have money I am hiding from them). I've told him he should not be sending snippy letters to people who are just doing their jobs. He is poised and about to lick his stamp.

So...

IHBU?

OP posts:
FelixCulpa · 10/03/2015 19:17

WTF. I agree with DH, his bank statements are none of their business!

This all sounds very Concentrix-esque, no?

TwinkleThis · 10/03/2015 19:22

want2besupermum I feel the same way about the signing of passport photos. It enrages me that our first child's passport application was turned down be ause it was signed by a mum friend. (I am foreign, I knew not how the system worked.).

Never mind that until three months prior she had been an executive manager with the BBC. Nope. Because once that baby is out and you leave work to stay with children, you are no longer a 'member in good standing of the community' but someone who is retired from same profession still counts.

ILovePud · 10/03/2015 19:22

How bizarre, I don't see what relevance his finances have to your debt, I think your DH has the right idea.

EveBoswell · 10/03/2015 19:25

I don't know anything about student loans really but could the letter have been a scam just to find out your DH's bank details, OP?

And the use of the word 'homemaker' indicates that the company might be American. Who runs the existing student loan company?

TwinkleThis · 10/03/2015 19:29

Back to the OP, of course your husband is not being unreasonable. Shame on them.

Additionally, I am hugely bothered that they need to know how you support yourself. It isn't their business unless you are receiving taxable income above the threshold laid out in the terms of the loan.

Basically I don't even think he should have to state that he is supporting you. Let them contact HMRC and find out. (I am working under the assumption that HMRC received annual confirmation from employers or other official sources of income that abide by the law of what they paid to an individual. I am starting to think this doesn't happen here and that I am confusing it with the US system.)

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 19:29

Showy just out of interest, did this letter when it came to your dh disclose any of the following:

You have a student loan
You are not currently repaying a student loan

Because if it did and you did not give your express permission to SLC to contact your dh and disclose that information what they have done is illegal.

diddl · 10/03/2015 19:30

Send them blank pages & tell them that that is your income!

Perhaps they've been reading mumsnet about family money!!

Want2bSupermum · 10/03/2015 19:35

Twinkle The passport application process in the UK is awful. Both DC are American as born here. I like the process here where you take your pictures with your child to the post office. The post office employee, as a federal employee, fills out some paperwork saying picture resembles said applicant. They also require that both parents attend the application for passport meetings for minors (under 18). It is a very sensible and well thought out process.

Moving I can easily agree with it being indirect discrimination. It has always bothered me that the new rules result in women who stop working end up paying more in interest than a man. I do think that interest not accrue if you qualify to not be repaying the loan.

Topseyt · 10/03/2015 19:42

Not necessarily, EveBoswell. I came across "home-maker" on quite a few forms over the years that I was a SAHM, including mortgage applications, and I live in the UK.

It is always wise to be alert to the possibility of a scam, I agree there though. The OP and her husband are refusing to provide the bank statements anyway, so that should be an end to it (we hope).

I don't get the impression these letters are a scam (though would suggest people check against their original documentation). It is very widespread.

Hasn't the Government sold some of the early loans on now for a song to a firm of debt collectors? It doesn't change the terms of the loans as far as I understand, but the scare tactics being employed sound typical of those that some such firms might use?? I wonder if that would explain some of this??

HangingInAGruffaloStance · 10/03/2015 19:48

He isn't being unreasonable.

DP is a SAHD. All we've ever been asked for is a letter from me saying by how much I support him. I'd offer that then see how they respond.

Want2bSupermum · 10/03/2015 19:50

diddl Your DH is totally right. It is why I said they need to write to the OP's DH.

Basically this is how I have SLC over a barrel. They contacted my father and shared information with him regarding my student loan. It is illegal for them to discuss this with anyone apart from me as I have not given my consent.

Viviennemary · 10/03/2015 19:53

So who is picking up this slack of all the gleeful people who have loans they will never pay off. The poor old taxpayer. I think the way the loans were set up was wrong. But that isn't really the OP's fault.

TalkinPeace · 10/03/2015 19:56

Vivienne
Repayment rates on student loans are likely to come in at around 45%
Yes, they were badly set up.
But keeping kids in education is just a way to hide the fact that there are no jobs.

flowerygirl · 10/03/2015 19:57

I'm a SAHM and my husband had to send in a letter confirming he supports me financially recently. Didn't have to send in any proof though.

TarkaTheOtter · 10/03/2015 19:57

ToBee it's the post 1998 (although it may be the others too). Apparently the loan holders word that someone else is supporting them is not enough, they need a letter from your partner.
They are basically assuming that you are working under the table (and therefore should be paying) and will only assume otherwise if your partner writes and tells them.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 19:57

No that's'so wrong Viviennemary. The loans have been priced to factor in a number of defaults so it's the people paying back the loans that pay it.

And of course before the loans came in fee were free any way, fully funded by the tax payer because education is a right. Or at least it used to be.

MovingOnUpMovingOnOut · 10/03/2015 19:59

Remember when it was free fees and grants?

Spoilt you were Wink

improbablesaint · 10/03/2015 20:00

i think i fancy your H

IAmAPaleontologist · 10/03/2015 20:04

Gosh.

i don't object as it were to having to supply evidence of how you are living, i can understand that they want to stop people somehow avoiding repayments and would ask the same if it were a sahd. But back statements? Why? What gives them the right to demand personal financial information from someone who is not the one who owes the money?

dh just had to write a letter confirming that we lived together!

BackforGood · 10/03/2015 20:05

Your dh is right. No question. What a ridiculous letter for them to send. It needs to be treated with the contempt it deserves.

Dognado · 10/03/2015 20:06

I don't know, I think if you borrow money and then don't pay it back, you should expect a certain amount of follow up. And if your husband earns enough that you can choose not to work, then it's not unreasonable, as you're married, that he might too be liable.

Technically they're BU because of the loan smallprint, but if it wasn't for that I'd say YABU.

PrettyPenguin · 10/03/2015 20:08

I used to get a letter every year asking DH to write a very short note to SLC to confirm that I don't work and that he supports me financially. No mention of bank statements or anything. Sounds very odd! HINBU at all! How are HIS bank statements going to confirm that YOU are not earning? Bonkers!

ReallyBadParty · 10/03/2015 20:09

HINBU

Viviennemary · 10/03/2015 20:10

I agree with Dognado. I don't think you can sit in a multi million pound house and drive around in a Rolls and say poor little old pme earns nothing so I can't pay back my student loan. Not saying folk on this thread do but you get my meaning. I think people should be made to pay it back by taking their assets and household income into consideration. Because we are always told that the the money earned by the DH is as much the SAHM's money as his. Can't have it both ways.

IAmAPaleontologist · 10/03/2015 20:10

i do see your point though that it isn't the fault of the people sending the letter. But who do you complain to otherwise? perhaps he could ask to have his feelings passed on the the relevant department.

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