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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

A six year old should be capable of feeding himself?

145 replies

Handsup · 09/03/2015 18:25

My friend still has to sit and physically feed her 6 and half year old. He'll feed himself at school but once home it's her job again. Aibu to think 'sort it out?'.

OP posts:
LadyKooKoo · 09/03/2015 18:28

Yes. Mind your own and have a Biscuit .

FenellaFellorick · 09/03/2015 18:28

is there no more to that at all?

an nt child with no disabilities or no issues is spoonfed by his mother?

Does he think it's her job or is she saying it's her job?

DoJo · 09/03/2015 18:28

Does it bother her as much as it bothers you?

MinceSpy · 09/03/2015 18:29

The boy in question can and does feel himself at school. At home there must be a whole different dynamic going on. I'd mind my own business personally.

Aeroflotgirl · 09/03/2015 18:30

Oh gosh I have to feed my ASD dd 8, who will eat a few spoons of food an run off. I remember saying to my mum to feed me, I was 8 and never felt hungry, I can eat perfectly well with a knife and fork, by myself. Each to their own and all that.

Moln · 09/03/2015 18:31

Well yes a six year old should, but I know a six year old who is still fed whilst he sits watching the TV. He screams and tantrums if he has to sit a a table and feed himself (no clue how he gets on in school)

However it's something that the parents of the six year old have got themselves into without meaning to (I think, I've not asked!) but I bet my house it's not that easy to 'sort it out'

So YANBU about a six year old being able to feed himself, but judging another's parenting situation on something that doesn't effect you YABU (though I totally understand why you think it!)

Charlotte3333 · 09/03/2015 18:31

I think there are worse things a Mother can do. DS1 has a friend (9) whose Mum does the same whenever they come for tea. I always assume it's to stop him talking constantly.

fusspot66 · 09/03/2015 18:34

Perhaps the child is worn out and just needs to be babied a little. School days are long and hard for young kids. Perhaps the whole family are fed up of waiting an hour for the child to finish eating.

Original poster
Handsup · 09/03/2015 18:37

I wouldn't ask if he had a disability or other issues.
I just find it odd at this age she has to feed him lunch/ dinner while he he runs around between each mouthful. He demands she feeds him yet he's happy as Larry to eat alone at school.

OP posts:
Moln · 09/03/2015 18:40

Well he does it at home because he can, and it's more fun than sitting still.

Limes61 · 09/03/2015 18:47

I'm really surprised most people don't think there is any issue with this. My own children have fed themselves since age 2, I occasionally cut the food up first if its tough but that's it. My eldest is 6 and a half, I really can't imagine sitting there feeding him like a toddler... If he feeds himself at school then I think he just needs to be told no at home, there may be tantrums to start with if he's so used to it but when does it stop if not?!

Original poster
Handsup · 09/03/2015 18:50

Moln, it does effect me because I too feed him dinner & breakfast when he sleeps over. He's such a sporty independent boy which got me thinking why the insistence on being fed.

OP posts:
Sianilaa · 09/03/2015 18:51

Assuming he's NT then yes I think it is unusual and not doing him any favours.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/03/2015 18:52

As you have said he has no additional needs, I am going to say that no, she absoloutley shouldnt be feeding him, or allowing him to run around between mouthfulls.

However this is MN. The Land Of The Non Judgers. Unless they are judging the judgers of course.

ThinkIveBeenHacked · 09/03/2015 18:53

OP why are you feedng him? Enabling him. Just say "In this house we feed ourselves. Eat or go hungry"

HerrenaHarridan · 09/03/2015 18:54

Yabu

And my dd has fed herself from 6 months, it worked so well for us I find it hard to understand why anyone does anything else (aside from additional needs) but bottom line is it's not your business.
Unless her child's behaviour affects you or your child it's just not for you to decide when they're ready to deal with it

ScaryMaryHinge · 09/03/2015 18:56

If he can feed himself then he should. I suspect if she refused then he'd pretty soon feed himself when he got hungry.

Charlie97 · 09/03/2015 18:57

Well if it bothers you then don't have him stay over! If he can do it at school he can do it at yours, but you are feeding him, so you are bu then moaning about it.

SauvignonBlanche · 09/03/2015 18:58

Why do you do this OP?

FenellaFellorick · 09/03/2015 19:02

Don't feed him when he's at yours if you don't want to.

KeturahLee · 09/03/2015 19:05

I often spoon feed my 4.5 year old Reception child dinner.

MinceSpy · 09/03/2015 19:06

OP I'd actually be quite calm when he sleeps over and just tell him that in your house everyone feeds themselves. I really wouldn't enable his behaviour. If he doesn't like your rules then no sleepovers.

Moln · 09/03/2015 19:08

and when he's with you does he feed himself?

The boy I know who is spoon feed in front of the tv I never have to feed (thankfully) I wouldn't entertain the idea of spoon feeding him - but I have seen the level of tantrum that's thrown if he has to sit at a table so I say that but it's not something I've had to actually do (in other words easier to say it than do it)

EveBoswell · 09/03/2015 19:09

I dread to be in a restaurant and have the OP's friend's child at a table nearby...

PrettyFeet · 09/03/2015 19:12

Of course the child at that age should feed himself. A very important part of a parents job is to teach them to be independent. If a friend of mine started doing this in front of me I'd have to say something. YANBU