To think FIL should not have a key to the house?

[TwigletFiend]

So DP and I have just moved into a new house. It is on the site of a new business venture (garden centre) that DP and FIL have purchased through their company. The house is now separated from the business part by a wall and is completely closed off from the public space.

Yesterday I was feeding our 4 month old DD in the living room when FIL walked into the house. I am not shy about feeding but it scared the life out of me as I thought I was alone! It turns out he has a key to the house and let himself in without knocking, calling hello etc. He wandered around commenting on my choice of decor for a while, running his hand over my furniture (why?!), generally giving ME the feeling that he sees it as 'his'. Which I know it sort of is, but if we have to live here I feel like our private space needs to be respected. DP is going away to Cambodia for 2 weeks on a motorbike trip as of tomorrow and FIL rather ominously commented that I would be seeing a lot of him while DP is away as he left yesterday.

AIBU to think that we should have our privacy respected and ask for FILs key back? DP already tends to bring work home with him and that's before we agreed to move in at his new workplace. I really feel that the two need to be separate for the sake of my sanity.

Why on earth does he think he can drop round for a cup of tea unannounced? I'd be telling him to do one OP

I'm not sure, but i think its a thing around here. It's a slightly odd part of the world where people don't move and you're not considered a 'true' local unless your fathers fathers father was born here - all DPs siblings live within a 5 minute drive of their parents and people (not just family!) quite often drop by unannounced. I thought I was quite cosmopolitan but I admit to finding it very weird and have done since I moved here. It's certainly popped my ego balloon in considering myself a non-judgemental and worldly wise person because I find it very odd!

Anyway, I feel like the saga is considerably less entertaining now that the potential for drama is much reduced. Don't wish to keep boring you, ladies (and gents, if their are any lurking).

Keep us posted, OP.

I'd start sitting round the house in the nude.

Our neighbour used to come through our backgate to our rear patio door which I found a bit intrusive. He stopped after he found me stark bollock naked in the dining room.

Beaver, I am at the size of your ladyballs! I am not that brave though!!

That's agood idea though. Every time he pops in say to him "while you're here just change that bin liner". "Can u unload the dishwasher my back isnt right today".
"Can u mind the baby while i pop out for ten minutes?"

That was to lweji

OP. You must live where i grew up in farm country

anyone and their dog would wander in and put the kettle on, or use the loo, or read our paper.
Pinch bickies out the cupboard for their morning tea

Definitely get him doing jobs for you whilst he is there. "Would you mind taking this rubbish out / moving this chair" or whatever task you can think could be usefully done.

Also, once you've given him a few jobs, say "oh I'm glad you're here, I just need to pop out for ten minutes" and leave him with the baby. Come back in forty minutes. Do it EVERY time he comes.

Get a cheep rape alarm and some sellotape, tape the alarm to the door fraim and the cord to the door. When he opens the door next merry hell will be let loose. He won't do it twice!