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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

dh child was a one night stand

144 replies

proudmummywife · 08/03/2015 18:52

This was of course b4 me I met him when baby was 4 weeks. What annoys me is this is the 2nd child she conceived through one night stand. Any way not that that matters but it annoys me that he can't remember and he was intoxicated (is it possible to orgasm for him if he was that bad? he says it would be if u never had sex for full year) anyway what really annoys me is I feel she took advantage and if it was a man sober slept with intoxicated woman it would be looked at in a different light? My husband is a shy respectable man he wouldn't be type to sleep around.. An in his right mind he did never look at this woman she is very dirty looking bad teeth poor hygiene. This woman annoys me she is really rough lives in a house that is so dirty doesn't bath child child always vomits I think cos of the level of dirt. I love dsd I just hate the circumstances and am I being unreasonable to have it annoys me? This woman started making up illnesses about child to meet her at hospital to be sent home coming up to our wedding three times in one week and thinks she is more to dh than Wat she simply is a one night stand and mother of his child but no relationship. She friended all dhs friends on fb that she doesnt kno tryst with his family to friend on fb they don't get it either. Am I being unreasonable to dislike her so strongly?

OP posts:
FaktiskErJegIkkeEnNerd · 08/03/2015 19:11

to be fair to the OP, although her English is terrible, she is probably emerging from the foggy script he sold her to begin with that he was the innocent hapless victim of not one but two women who fell on to his penis. OP has to try and believe his script or she'd be a mug to be with him but the doubts are circulating in her head and she came to mumsnet for the same reasons women who can construct a sentence come to mumsnet.

browneyedgirl86 · 08/03/2015 19:12

Well, she may be a clatty manky skank, but he shagged her without a condom, so what does that say about him?

This! If your husband didn't want kids there's a thing called condoms he could have and should have used!

Methe · 08/03/2015 19:13

Is this real?

She might well be rough as fuck but your husband found her attractive enough to have sex with her.

It sounds like a classy situation all round tbh.

FaktiskErJegIkkeEnNerd · 08/03/2015 19:13

Do you really want to marry this man? he sounds a bit shabby to me.

AGirlCalledBoB · 08/03/2015 19:13

Seriously she couldn't have been that bad because your oh slept with her.

Of course it was all her fault, your oh's penis just fell into her Hmm

ApocalypseThen · 08/03/2015 19:13

Has he had a DNA test; if he was that drunk could he DTD?

Nice. We haven't insulted this woman enough so we're also going to call her a liar on precisely no evidence.

MrsDeVere · 08/03/2015 19:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BubblesInMyBath · 08/03/2015 19:13

I think the OP meant the woman had 2 kids from one night stands, not both with him?

I think he has had just one woman before her fall accidentally onto his penis

Sortmylifeout · 08/03/2015 19:14

It obviously makes you feel better to defend your husband by saying he is quiet and shy and he must have been really drunk to have slept with her. But he is as responsible as her for conceiving this child and you need to accept that.

FaktiskErJegIkkeEnNerd · 08/03/2015 19:14

oops, too late, you're married. sorry.

FaktiskErJegIkkeEnNerd · 08/03/2015 19:15

ah right, thank you bubbles.

AnyFucker · 08/03/2015 19:15

I reckon your husband has terrible taste in women

fixedit · 08/03/2015 19:16

OP didn't get the response expected (Because seriously who would disagree with her Hmm ) and doesn't return?
Yawn.

googoodolly · 08/03/2015 19:17

Oh, that's interesting MrsDV

MrsTerryPratchett · 08/03/2015 19:17

What stands out is that you think a child that your DH created is being neglected to the point of sickness and your issue is whether the mother is attractive or not Hmm If you think the poor child is living in filth and sick from it, call SS and you and your DH could try for more time with the child.

Poor, poor child.

TheChickenSituation · 08/03/2015 19:19

Oh dear, oh dear.

DixieNormas · 08/03/2015 19:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

70isaLimitNotaTarget · 08/03/2015 19:21

Why not a DNA test?
just because two people have sex does not mean they are the parents.

She can bonk a football team for all I care but how likely is it to get pg from one act of sex with a drunk man?

MrsDeVere · 08/03/2015 19:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

HairyHandedFucker · 08/03/2015 19:23

MrsDV, I think it's only if the poster has chosen to make their name hover-overable, and chosen to link to a previous username, or they can write whatever they like.

OP, you can dislike who you want to dislike. But, you did marry this man knowing he was tied to this lady because of their mutual child. I think you have to be civil, and think about what is in the best interests of the child.

BubblesInMyBath · 08/03/2015 19:24

70isalimit...

How likely? Surprisingly likely, if she was in her fertile period. It only takes one.

I suspect we'd have a much smaller population if being drunk reduced the mans chances of impregnating a woman by much at all.

AliceLidl · 08/03/2015 19:24

MrsDV I think it's a feature you can activate on your profile page.

You can put a quote in it, but it stays the same even if you temporarily name-change.

If you don't chose to have one all it shows is your current name, regardless of what that current name is.

I think. Someone else on this thread has a big quote in theirs, so maybe they will explain better than I have.

OP YABU.

What you think of her character or appearance is irrelevant, and your grasp on the need to orgasm during sex to achieve pregnancy is woeful.

If you really adore your DSS you are going to have to be more accepting and less judgemental of his mother, and take your DH off the pedestal.

BubblesInMyBath · 08/03/2015 19:26

Although I would hope that the OP's DH is certain the child is his, especially if he didn't know this woman at all. I assume by now child is old enough that there are facial similarities or such if a DNA test wasn't done.

mynewpassion · 08/03/2015 19:27

Maybe the OP and the ex aren't different personality-wise but just in hygiene. Some men do have a type, you know.

glasgowlass · 08/03/2015 19:28

It takes 2 to conceive a child. One night stand or not.
You sound like a complete delight OP.Hmm