AIBU to not let my partner replace their iPad?

[letscookbreakfast]

My partner has accidentally dropped and smashed their iPad 4 after putting it somewhere they shouldn't have (edge of the sink). It's an iPad 4, it used to be mine but I gave it to them shortly after I bought it as I got bored with it. I've always said that if they break it then they can replace it, a few days prior to breaking it they were hinting at getting a new one but I'm happy to believe that it's a coincidence that it's now broken.

Anyway they now want to borrow over £500 from our joint account to pay for a new iPad and case, I'm reluctant to say yes as there's not much in our savings account and I'd rather continue to save up to get married, go on a honeymoon and to replace some furniture/decorate our bedroom etc. They say that they'll put a bit extra in the joint account every month to pay for it but as they work term time only they'd struggle to do so and we'd still be over £500 short.

So AIBU?

I also think the fact she broke it has relevance. She should accept a repair or replacement like for like. Although I was pisses off with dh when I got a camera for for my birthday. A few months later our ds broke it and dh suggested I get a replacement for Xmas. Err no that can come from joint funds. The same year he spent some of his bonus on an ipad. I said I would like a tablet so he got everyone to club together and get me a kindle fire. This year I got prescription sunglasses for my birthday becaude they aren't essential really.

Sorry kindle fire for my birthday.

If I were to break my tablet - I couldn't afford to replace it and certainly not for £500. So I wouldn't replace it until I could.

The OP's DP can only even consider replacing it with a more expensive model because she can borrow money from the joint account. But she can;t really afford to pay it back so it's not "borrowing" at all.

I don't consider this controlling at all - if I had a DP who said he wanted to spend £500 on a nice expensive present for himself out of our joint bills money, and he wasn't too sure exactly when he'd replace it but he would at some point, I would be unimpressed.

I think you're getting a hard time on here OP, it would be different if you had children and your partner had children and she was part time because of childcare that was the reason she earned less than you but that isn't the case and she has chosen to work term time only. And that is all well and good but it does mean that it will mean she won't be able to afford luxuries that she otherwise could. And despite what has been said on here, £500 is a luxury item to most people.

If you are paying 1k a month in the joint account and she is only paying 400-600 some of the time it sounds like you are subsidising her choice to work part time already. I think had this been a reverse gender and a man was working part time not through ill health or childcare and the OP a female working full time, the responses would be somewhat different.

I say that as someone who earns less than my DP - we are in the same situation, not married and childless. We have a joint ac for bills and DP pays more in which I think is fair but I don't expect him to subsidise me in other ways - on occasions I have earnt even less due to extended leave or temporary part time working, I made these decisions knowing I could afford to do this without impacting on him. If we had children and that was the reason I was part time then of course that would be different and I would expect him to take the hit also, but when someone is already paying more of the bills than me , I think it would be mightily cheeky to expect them to pay even more because essentially (which is what it comes down to) I don't earn enough to have the things I want because I have chosen to be part time.

If she worked full time also and earnt less I think my response would be different because at 7 years into a relationship I would expect that money is considered equal even without children but I think for me it's the fact that she has chosen to be part time when she wasn't in a position to finance that herself (and has no reason to be part time).

That said, if you have enough money in the joint account that the £500 can be taken account for a couple of months then I'd like to think that through disucssions DP and I could come to some arrangement. But as had alreay been said, £500 seems a hell of a lot of money and I don't understand this obsession to have top of the range technology anyway,.

Haven't RTFT, but I would say that an ipad is a luxury item which comes out of personal spending money, not out of the joint account. If mine broke I'd expect to wait until I could afford it before buying a new one. Borrowing out of the joint account is only for emergencies.

You say she chose to work school holidays only and you don't have children. In that case she should accept that as a part timer she cannot afford to replace such an expensive item. Perhaps she could get a summer job during the long holidays to pay for it?

Completely off topic: have you checked whether it's covered by your contents insurance?

I accidentally smashed my iPad when it fell off a shelf I'd put it on, and it turned out to be completely covered by insurance. I never would have thought of it but a friend mentioned it and sure enough, she was correct.

Worth checking.

I use my iPad every day and it's only now that the battery life is starting to wane, it's an iPad 2 and had it 3 years? Can't believe a new one would be worse!