Aibu To think that dss and dh's ex cause my children to lose out.

[WomenVsBarbie]

I have two dc (15) from a previous relationship with a man who left me 6 months pregnant with twins. I have two dc (8 and 7) with my current partner. I also have a stepson aged 15.

He does provide for his first yet you still have a problem with the step children. Is this personal to you thats clouding your judgement a bit?

I've no problem as long as you provide for yours first.

I dont agree the housing costs need to be included (sorry) the ex would still have housing costs if there was no children.

My problem is that she is complaining about extras when her DH contributes to her twins.

How can a nurse with an injury not be entitled to sick pay?

Are you a first child who felt step.children got more? Its the only way I can understand your irrational problem with step children being treated the same as their siblings.

But they are extras on top of a lot of maintenance. DSS mum has to provide for him too you know.

FFS DSS won't starve. His mother is loaded.

Op can I ask is there any reason that maintenance is set so high, is it to help cover school fees or does it include spousal maintenance at all?

Dss was included on holiday we changed to a cheaper option because of the holiday.

But he wasn't included when you planned how much it would cost hence why you were short. Thats the way it comes across have I misunderstood?

1,500 a month is loads of maintenance, no wonder your pissed off.

70,000 is a lot to some but it depends on where you live in the country/mortgage payments etc.

If I was loaded I wouldn't expect a penny off my ex and certainly not that amount!

iced I'm just surprised by an entitled mother who won't bother with her own twins maintenance but is concerned about extras he doesn't mind paying.

iced, you don't think NRPs should pay towards ensuring their children have a home? That speaks volumes.

1,500 a month is loads of maintenance, no wonder your pissed off.
Why waste energy on a man supporting children, than chasing on your children's maintenance.

I agree the op should try for maintenance from her ex, no matter how difficult it would be.

The extras are things that the op feels should be taken out of the 1500 like winter coats etc. Isnt that the sort of thing cm is for? And the extra big gifts a month that dss gets but im assuming the other children dont get them.

I was entitled to sick pay I'm not nhs

Don't think it really matters what the RPs financial situation is BingBong both parents should financially contribute to their childrens upbringing.

We don't know that she's loaded, it could very easily appear that way without being the truth. OP has no way of knowing the truth about the ex's finances.

Even if she does have a lot of disposable income, that's no reason for someone she has a child with not to provide half of their costs.

Jessica, the Dh has his own mortgage and housing to pay for, why shouldnt the ex pay for her house as well? I believe NRP should pay for their child obviously, but dh pays mortgage himself why should.he pay exs aswell?

Likemother, he was abusive, and is a drug addict with MH. Even if she managed to track him down, how much CM do you think she will receive, if anything?

OP, so as I understand it now:

Dss was included in the holiday, but when you were unexpectedly short of money, and ex wouldn't lend it to you, you had to go somewhere cheaper instead.
You have no problem with the CM, but you think the extras should come out of that.
The gifts are an issue while money is tight, so should stop for a while.
The ex is complaining that dss doesn't have his own room and you think that's unfair.

If I've understood the above correctly, then YANBU, except that you can't really blame the ex for not lending you the money for the holiday.

She is loaded or shall I say parents are. They are very wealthy multiple homes and cash assets.

Jessica that's correct

Likemother, you are sure the DH is happy to pay for extras for his DS, why do you think he isn't happy to help support his DSS's?