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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

Aibu To think that dss and dh's ex cause my children to lose out.

560 replies

WomenVsBarbie · 07/03/2015 22:30

I have two dc (15) from a previous relationship with a man who left me 6 months pregnant with twins. I have two dc (8 and 7) with my current partner. I also have a stepson aged 15.

OP posts:
icedgem30 · 08/03/2015 18:12

The OP has always said the issue wasnt 1500, it was the 1500 plus big extras, and things that should be included in the 1500.

People are criticising the Op for not working even though she clearly stated she did work before injury.

surely there is no reason why the ex cant buy a coat out of the CM, isn't that what it is for?

and only on here have I seen a man being criticised for providing for his wifes children whose own father left them.

PtolemysNeedle · 08/03/2015 18:12

Surely if you saved for three years you could have saved for a little longer for an extra £350 to take your step son abroad with all the others?

Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:13

The Barbados trip was not paid because we could not afford to pay half of that on top of the maintenance.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/03/2015 18:14

Soup dragon we could not afford for all we really wanted everyone to go we even offered to pay £350 back in a couple of months but she also refused which in my opinion is a nasty and selfish thing to do.

Then you need to choose a holiday that you can afford, just like everyone else.

The fact that the ex would not pay to enable you to go on holiday doesn't make her nasty or selfish.

Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:15

Oh and a previous poster asked about older dc's and dh they have had a relationship for 10 years and we tried adoption but it got tricky and it wasn't really worth it.

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/03/2015 18:15

It is becoming clear that this has nothing to do with being fair or right and everything to do with jealousy.

Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:15

We did soup dragon

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/03/2015 18:16

You asked of you were being unreasonable and you refuse to accept anyone's opinion that does not agree with yours. One wonders why you bothered asking.

I'm out.

Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:17

I can accept others opinions. I admit I have not organised my posts well dripping info to yoy

OP posts:
SoupDragon · 08/03/2015 18:17

We did soup dragon

Most people don't complain about it being unfair and the fault of the ex though.

PtolemysNeedle · 08/03/2015 18:18

Right, so it's ok for your DH not to pay for half of his sons holidays, but when the ex does the same it's nasty and selfish?

Can you at least see from that your dss mum is providing for her own son, and if she only has one child (does she?) compared to your five, then it is normal that she will have more disposable income than you even if her family is rich?

PtolemysNeedle · 08/03/2015 18:19

You haven't drip fed anything that makes much difference.

Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:22

Dh did pay half Hmm

OP posts:
Charley50 · 08/03/2015 18:24

I think if you genuinely couldn't afford it and genuinely asked his ex to lend you the money and she refused, it is a little different, and you should have said this earlier in your thread.
Men with kids are always expected to be generous, can't women with kids be generous too? If she had the money and could lend it, it's fair enough to ask.

PtolemysNeedle · 08/03/2015 18:25

You just said he didn't. Which is it?

Charley50 · 08/03/2015 18:25

DH paid half of what?

Starlightbright1 · 08/03/2015 18:34

The Barbados trip was not paid because we could not afford to pay half of that on top of the maintenance

You said he didn't pay half

AyeAmarok · 08/03/2015 18:35

Did your DH pay for half of the cost of his son's holiday to Barbados with his mum, ON TOP OF his maintenance etc?

Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:37

For Barbados we could not pay half £2000 for the holiday.

OP posts:
Original poster
WomenVsBarbie · 08/03/2015 18:38

Dh was willing to pay half for dss to go away with us.

OP posts:
CantBeBotheredThinking · 08/03/2015 18:41

Can you genuinely not see that it isn't fair to expect the ex to pay half when your dh didn't pay half towards Barbados irrespective of affordability.

Charley50 · 08/03/2015 18:44

You are being really confusing. Do you mean DH was willing to pay half of his DS holiday with you all, or could only afford to pay half?

needaholidaynow · 08/03/2015 18:46

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

AyeAmarok · 08/03/2015 18:47

OP, your DSS's mother paid the full costs for her son to go away to Barbados with her.

Yet your DH only wanted to pay half for his son to go away with him?

That is messed up, can't you see that? Your bitterness is clouding your judgement here.

Nanny0gg · 08/03/2015 18:48

The Barbados trip was not paid because we could not afford to pay half of that on top of the maintenance.

And so you went camping, yes?

Why didn't you go to Spain or France? Cheaper options than Barbados.
Or by 'camping' did you mean a Eurocamp kind of holiday?

I don't see why the Ex should pay for him to go on holiday with you. I also don't think your DH should pay for him to go on holiday with his mum.