For planning to breastfeed?

[ambientolf]

I am only 13 weeks but I knew from the start I wanted to breastfeed. I will try my hardest to do it and if not, then no bother I will have to bottle feed. However when I've told anyone in general discussion that I plan to breastfeed I am getting "It's hard you know!" (This was from my mum who openly admits she didnt nor wanted to with me) or "...If you can that is" from friends. AIBU for just wanting some support instead of negative comments? Or am I just being hormonal for getting annoyed with it?

Of course you're not unreasonable.

Ignore the negative comments.

Job done.

YANBU Not everyone finds it easy. I had to persevere. Nothing wrong to plan for what you want!
The message to be taken is parenthood requires adaptability.
There is always someone with a negative view on whatever you choose for parenting I'm afraid.
Practice your "Thanks for the suggestion I guess I'll see what works for us" in intent and words. You will need this.

YANBU, why do all these people think you have those 2 things on your chest?
later in your pregnancy I suggest you try and pop along to a breastfeeding support group- or anywhere you can just chat to normal women doing that normal thing, breastfeeding. It's true that sometimes people have problems but with the right support these needn't be massive. Don't stress about it now, just think to yourself- 'my body knows how to grow a baby...it knows how to feed a baby too'

Ignore them. My MIL was so prudish about breastfeeding that it beats me how she had 3 kids. Her favourite one was "How will you know when they've had enough?" bangs head off desk

I do wish someone had told me that it possibly wouldn't be a walk in the park TBH.
This was 16 years ago nearly but even at ante natal classes there was no mention of it being anything other than a doddle.

Good luck though, hopefully it will all go well, I know loads of people who did it without a hitch.

YANBU. At the same time they are telling you their experience.
You know some nosey people,I have never asked or been asked about feeding.

YANBU but if you want to prepare get yourself a copy of baby led breastfeeding

And agree with getting along to your bf support group or at least having details to hand for early days.

Yanbu. When I told an old cunt bitch friend I was breastfeeding dd she said "errr cows are the only things that should be milked". Face palm face palm face palm

They may be trying to help. It can be hard and hurt like buggery. It messed with my internal picture of a beatific Madonna and Child type arrangement as I sobbed in pain. Nevertheless, it all worked out in the end.

My mum has been a bit like that.

I just nod, smile and ignore.

The comments aren't negative though and they are supportive because they're true.

I'm sure you'll succeed but you probably have more chance of success, going into it with your eyes open.

Same here sovery. Felt like such a failure, I ploughed on for 6 weeks, 'just one more day' the midwife would say....

YANBU support is really important. I guess maybe your mum and others dont want you to feel too disappointed if it does not work out. I wish I had known quite how hard it could be, I think it is good to be prepared beforehand but it is also truly wonderful and I wish you lots of luck. Certainly look into support groups before your little one comes along.

I got the same, lots of people telling me not to have my heart set on it.

I think lots of it was out of genuine concern that it would leave me upset if I had been unable to as pp have said it IS difficult.

I was determined to do it through mastitis, over production, cracked nipples, reflux puking baby and the general exhausting struggle it CAN be early on. There were points though where I was very jealous of some of the ff mums in my new mums group who shook up their milk and shared night feeds with their DPs whilst DS clawed and screeched at my sore boob both wanting and not wanting to feed!

Despite all the difficulties, it hit a turning point and it all fell into place and its been a wonderful, fantastic journey with DS still feeding at 14 months.

I'm pregnant with my second and looking forward to taking on the challenge ahead again!

To sum up, I think people are trying to be kind and let you know that if it doesn't work or you don't enjoy it, there is no problem to ff, which is exactly the right attitude. The way they are doing it is a bit clumsy and it can feel like they just don't have faith you can do it/ don't support you.

Good luck and congratulations!

Good for you. It can be difficult in the beginning the same way learning any new skill is but you will get through it with good support and time. Once you get the hang of it though it is the easiest way to feed your baby. My mother hated me breastfeeding and was NO support whatsoever. When I had any problem I phoned the Le Leche ladies and they helped me so much. The breastfeeding groups they had were really friendly and supportive as all the Mums were breastfeeding there so it was seen as the norm. I fed two babies (18 month age gap between them) for seven years in total.

If you are determined to breastfeed then you will most likely be able to. Lots of things are hard, personally I found being pregnant pretty hard going.

At 8 months with DS I had a yeast infection in my milk ducts. It was v v painful. Several GPs told me DS didn't 'need' to be bf anymore at the ripe old age of 8 months so instead of helping me their suggestion was just to stop. This made me more determined to continue and eventually I got appropriate help from a midwife.
More support is needed for women at this time, ignore the negativity.
Hope it goes well.

For a lot of people it is really hard. And you have no idea when or if it's going to improve. For me it was about 5 weeks of agony and weeping. Every day I felt would be the last I could cope with.

And then one day it was just really easy and natural. I love it now. Still bf at 7 months and intend to carry on until she's had enough (within reason).

Maybe they don't want you to feel like you failed if you can't? That's what I have taken those kind of comments to mean.

I expect they are perhaps worried you aren't prepared for just how hard it can be.

It's very easy to say "well no bother if I can't" but reality is that hormones and exhaustion will inevitably lead to a bit of a wobble if that's how it turns out.

I wish someone had told me just how hard it was. It was a shock for sure. and I did t last long at all. If id known others had been through it and that I wasn't some Lone failure it would have made it alot easier.

I doubt there is anything besides Concern that you are prepared behind it all.

congratulations on your pregnancy. and I hope the breast feeding g works out for you

Smile, nod and do as you like. I was determined to do all I could to breastfeed and it just seemed like common sense to prepare in advance, read up, suss out the possible problems, buy the Cammilosan (sp?), pads, pump etc. Nowt wrong with a bit of research.Good luck and stick with it!