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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To wish people wouldn't say they are sorry about my toddler having glasses?

108 replies

Ineedacleaningfairy · 05/03/2015 06:14

My 2 year old recently got his first pair of glasses, it's gone really well, he has worn them without and problems (as I think he's happy to be able to see much better with them on) other people's reactions have really supprised me, lots of people have said they are sorry to hear about his new glasses and many people have had a story about a niece/neighbour/child they babysat/school friend who had glasses as a child but who is just fine now.

These things are all said in front of my child.

I had no idea having glasses was seen so negatively, I'm just happy that we live in a country where we have access to eye checks and glasses and I think my son looks pretty cute like the milky bar kid in his glasses.

Aibu to wish people wouldn't say they are sorry about the glasses? I know they are only trying to be supportive but I'm getting tired of trying to explain that we are quite happy about his glasses and he is infancy very proud of them.

OP posts:

UseHerName · 05/03/2015 06:19

Ugh my mum was like this when I got mine and says that she hopes my dc doesn't need glasses 'like you' said with much distaste...I just respond with 'oh why's that then? I like my glasses?'

They are very much part of my overall 'look' as an academic, and I prefer them over contacts,def wouldn't get lasered...

Disabilist in many ways too

RaspberryBlonde · 05/03/2015 06:21

Definitely not BU. I have worn glasses since a similar age and have to say I would love it if I didn't have to. But think you are right to want people to see the positive aspect that he will benefit from them. It's quite a scary thought to think how different my life would be if I hadn't had access to eye care.

I think it's great he's proud to wear them, hope he continues to enjoy all the new things he can see.

confusedandemployed · 05/03/2015 06:21

YANBU. I know someone whose 18mo needed glasses. She looks super cute. DD will almost certainly need them before long (me and DP both blind as bats!).
It would really annoy me OP, probably to the extent that I would challenge them about it. "Why are you sorry?" etc.
If your DS doesn't mind them then that's great. By the time he's old enough to be embarrassed it may be so much part of him that it just never becomes an issue.

DoingIt · 05/03/2015 06:21

That is very strange (and rude). DS has had glasses since just over 1 year old. All we get are comments about how cute he looks (& occasional questions about whether they are real?!)

Eminybob · 05/03/2015 06:25

What a strange attitude. I would never expect people to have a negative reaction to a child wearing glasses .
I'm fully expecting DS to need them as both me and DP have appalling eyesight.
Just ignore ignore ignore op. Glasses are cool.

Sirzy · 05/03/2015 06:28

That is rude. My nephew has had glasses since he was 1 and only ever had positive comments.

Personally I think glasses on little ones look adorable, and even more importantly they make the world so much clearer for them! I would only comment to the child if they were being a monkey about wearing them and a comment from someone else (who wears glasses) may help for a few minutes

rembrandtsrockchick · 05/03/2015 06:32

I am 63 and need reading glasses which I wear on a cord round my neck...saves the bother of having a pair of "looking for my glasses" glasses.
A couple of weeks ago I met a three year old who was wearing the most fabulous pair of purple rimmed specs and we had a long conversation about what colours were best. Mine were fushia pink and she reckons that her next pair will be bright red. I'm going for the purple next time!

Original poster

Ineedacleaningfairy · 05/03/2015 06:33

I was really taken aback by the comments, my mum tried to explain her view to me and she said it was hard to have a child who needed help with something, even something as insignificant as glasses.

I think the comments will pass as people become used to him wearing them.

The eye dr suspect it could be a genetic thing so my baby is going to have his eyes tested later this month, I can't imagine what people will say if she also needs glasses?

OP posts:

18yearstooold · 05/03/2015 06:47

Dd2 needed glasses at 18 months and they were really quite strong

For some bizarre reason people thought it meant she had learning difficulties and I would get people saying 'at least dd1 is a bright little thing'

People are idiots

LindyHemming · 05/03/2015 07:00

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WhoKnowsWhereTheTimeGoes · 05/03/2015 07:02

They are being really rude, I suffered terribly with teasing as a child glasses wearer and still hate wearing them as a result (contact lenses for me every time). So even if they feel that way too there is no way they should be perpetuating that to another generation. Luckily glasses are so much nicer nowadays, lots of my DCs (9 and11) friends wear them and I have never heard of any teasing.

flanjabelle · 05/03/2015 07:03

Toddlers in glasses look so adorable its unreal. If I ever comment it's with enthusiasm about their snazzy glasses!!! Yanbu at all, it's not on. I think you would be well within your rights to quietly ask them not to speak like that in front of your boy.

manchestermummy · 05/03/2015 07:08

YANBU and I am angry on your behalf. I remember being in Specsavers once and a lady was looking at all the kids' stuff saying how awful it was that some parents "put their kids in glasses".

Dd1 went through a period of refusing to wear her glasses because someone said she looked "odd". What is wrong with people?

Dontunderstand01 · 05/03/2015 07:10

I am sorry if this sounds rude or insensitive but how could you tell your lo needed glasses? I only ask because my eyesight is shocking, and I recieved glasses at 7, but this was far later than I should have. I wonder because I have a little boy and would hate his sight to be neglected like mine.

Original poster

Ineedacleaningfairy · 05/03/2015 07:14

It's not rude at a dontunderstand I noticed that my ds had a white reflex in one of his eyes when I took photos of him with a flash, that can be an indication if cancer in the eye so we went to an eye dr and they used a machine to check his eyes. Getting the news that he didn't have cancer he only needed glasses was great news! Even the eye dr told us he needed glasses in a sort of apologetic manner.

OP posts:

OddBoots · 05/03/2015 07:21

My 15yo ds was saying only yesterday that when he got his glasses (aged 4) people seemed to feel sorry for him but now they are just accepted or even thought of as cool by his peers.

Sirzy · 05/03/2015 07:28

I am very jealous of the choice of glasses available to children now. When I got my first pair the choice was pretty much pink/white/blue frames. Now there are loads!

I have been wearing glasses so long now I am not me without them, I tried contacts and hated them!

Don't understand - my HV reffered DS to opthmaology because of my history, he is borderline needing glasses so being monitored (although now he is 5 we are back to normal opticians) - maybe worth you mentioning to your HV?

minifingers · 05/03/2015 07:33

Toddlers with glasses look adorable.

So sweet that your ds is proud of them. :-)

zzzzz · 05/03/2015 07:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nultersmum · 05/03/2015 07:36

My DD (11 mos) has worn glasses since she was about 7 mos. We only ever get comments on how insanely cute she looks, plus people saying they didn't realise babies could be given glasses (which is fine - I didn't, either, until we were told she'd need them).
But the optician told me it was very important to react positively when putting the glasses on her for the first time - apparently it's not uncommon for parents and other family members to weep and wail at the sight of a tiny in specs.

Eva50 · 05/03/2015 07:41

I was teased for wearing glasses (and an eye patch) at school but ds's 2&3 both wear glasses and have been patched and have never had any problems. These people are very rude. I would tell them that.

GloopyGhoul · 05/03/2015 07:43

If it's any consolation, I was desperate for glasses as a child. I finally got them aged 28 and love them! Kids in specs look ace.

ChipDip · 05/03/2015 07:48

I too would feel sorry when i see very small children with glasses. Its not because I think it's insignificant just that at such a little age they have to be responsible for taking care of it and all that hassle. I wouldn't say sorry though probably that they look cute which all of them do!

MsAspreyDiamonds · 05/03/2015 07:52

My cousin forced her dds into wearing contacts quite early as she was embarrassed about them wearing specs . She had very strange ideas about lots of things, one of the most offensive was her opinion on
Skin colour. She was Asian & was didn't want her dds to become darker during the summer so she applied factor 50+ sunblock each day.

Eastpoint · 05/03/2015 07:54

Dontunderstand Why don't you just take your child to the opticians and ask them to test your child's eyes? Eye tests for children are free & glasses are free unless you don't like the frames they have (DS is 15 & has worn glasses since he was 4 & we've never bought him frames).

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