To wish people wouldn't say they are sorry about my toddler having glasses?

[Ineedacleaningfairy]

My 2 year old recently got his first pair of glasses, it's gone really well, he has worn them without and problems (as I think he's happy to be able to see much better with them on) other people's reactions have really supprised me, lots of people have said they are sorry to hear about his new glasses and many people have had a story about a niece/neighbour/child they babysat/school friend who had glasses as a child but who is just fine now.

These things are all said in front of my child.

I had no idea having glasses was seen so negatively, I'm just happy that we live in a country where we have access to eye checks and glasses and I think my son looks pretty cute like the milky bar kid in his glasses.

Aibu to wish people wouldn't say they are sorry about the glasses? I know they are only trying to be supportive but I'm getting tired of trying to explain that we are quite happy about his glasses and he is infancy very proud of them.

YANBU. DD's really suit her and she had a huge (positive) fuss of her made at school when she started wearing them in Y1. They're always in her favourite colour and she loves them.

I suspect people will stop being so negative about your DS's as he gets older, and more obviously sentient because some people seem to treat 2 year olds as if they don't understand English

That's really rude of people. You wouldn't say it about an adult!
Besides, I think toddlers look sweet in glasses

I've worn glasses since I was 6 and probably should have had them earlier (I still remember the amazement of seeing the world in actual focus), I can't say at the moment I ever even really think about the fact that I have "a disability", other than when I've needed to get new specs, and I certainly wouldn't feel sorry for a child who needed glasses.

I'd imagine it'd be different if my prescription was so strong I was effectively blind without them, but while I don't like going around without them I can see enough to function. I have very dry eyes so don't wear contacts regularly but can do for eg snorkeling, and use prescription goggles for swimming. I did go through a brief phase of not wanting to look different and hence not wanting to wear my glasses at around 10, but it was very short-lived (not least because I liked being able to see). Currently like my glasses very much.

"I too would feel sorry when i see very small children with glasses. Its not because I think it's insignificant just that at such a little age they have to be responsible for taking care of it and all that hassle."

What hassle? Put on face. Take off face. Periodically wipe lenses. It's not like acquiring a crocodile, or something, and they don't need "maintenance" or "care" other than cleaning or repairs if you, eg, accidentally sit on them, and checkups every now and then to make sure you still have the right prescription. Don't remember ever having any issues with mine as a kid and, as I said, I wore them from when I was 6. I never even lost them because I wore them all the time. It's about the same level of "responsibility" and "hassle" as owning shoes.

You are definitely NBU, OP.

Why does anyone feel sorry for children with glasses? Really, why?

IMHO, resolving a problem in what is a often a very, very simple non-invasive manner is a good thing, no?

I am a glasses wearer. I manage to swim because I don't need to see much swimming up and down at 7 in the morning. When taking the dc before they could swim I would actually wear my glasses and put up with the odd splash so that I could supervise.

Please don't feel sorry for my dd1 who has glasses. We identified an issue (heightened because we are both short-sighted), took appropriate steps with the hv. Underwent two years of monitoring, was discharged, then a further issue was picked at school in yr. Don't feel sorry for us as parents, either: we honestly can cope.

Feel sorry for my MIL instead who spent most of school unable to see because she didn't have glasses (she's -11...).

Sorry, I'm in a bad mood today.

Hi OP. I bet he looks adorable in his glasses.

I wonder if older people worry about teasing / bullying at school and that's why they are "sorry".

If that is it, they needn't worry because glasses are now actively cool (as are braces btw) and nobody gets teased for glasses now.

Try to ignore the idiots who say these things in front of your DS

I think YAB a bit U

Glasses are a hassle, cost money throughout life, you are reliant on them not breaking, etc. I would have thought people are expressing sympathy that your DS needs them (and therefore has this hassle that many people don't), rather than being disparaging about the glasses themselves.

Are they really that much of a hassle/expense, though? I mean, I've been wearing glasses for 36 years now, it's genuinely not something that I even think about most of the time - managing my asthma is definitely more hassle (and much more expensive). Slightly amazed that people are possibly feeling sorry for me and this terrible imposition on my life.

when dd was younger we always went for the free frames so there was no expense. It is only when she got a bit older (8/9ish) that we started paying for nicer frames. Her most recent ones cost me £54! She has rarely broken or lost them in all the time she has worn glasses (nearly 10 years now)

The choice of NHS frames for children is really broad - it isn't like it used to be with blue/pink/brown plastic frames the only option. DS's glasses need wiped quite a lot, as he tends to get fingerprints all over them, but apart from that not much hassle.

As an adult, my glasses cost less than a lot of people spend on handbags, and when my prescription changed last time I got new lenses in the same frames, so it really doesn't have to cost a lot of money. I think the worst inconvenience is them steaming up when I move from cold outside to a warm room. I don't even notice I'm wearing them unless I specifically think about it. And I think I look weird without them, because I'm so used to seeing myself in them.

They are expensive once you have a really strong prescription, mine normally cost upwards of £300, I also pay about £20 a month for contact lenses and solutions. And I'm just getting to the stage where I will need varifocals, so I can't see things getting any cheaper. This is WAY more than I spend on handbags.

They are a hassle and expense compared to not having to wear glasses not compared to having asthma, or to not having any glasses to wear when you need them or any other non-related point. I don't understand the purpose of comparing it with another condition. "Oh asthma's not a hassle compared to diabetes and so on and on..."

I have a very poor prescription. I wear contacts to slow the deterioration. £30 a year for aftercare, plus £10 a month for solution. £30 every couple of years for an exam to check for retinal damage. £200 when glasses need replacing every few years. £120 every couple of years when lenses need replacing. Sometime more if things are lost or broken. Once I didn't replace my glasses straight away when they fell apart because we couldn't afford it, but then I got a smack in the eye which broke my contact. Just a PITA and difficult to find. Compared to my DH who doesn't have that expense

I had anxiety issues as a child related to not being able to see and feeling dependent on them, i was scared of taking them off at night for years.

It wouldn't be the end of the world if my ds needed them, just as it isn't that he needs his inhaler in order to breathe sometimes, but I would still rather he didn't need either.

Glasses are fine, but I don't see what the problem is with acknowledging they are there to correct a problem, not as a fashion accessory.

It's brilliant that you can see with them, but it would be even better not to need them.

Sorry if you thought it was a flippant comment WhoKnows (it is also more than I spend on handbags, but looking at S&B that isn't true for everyone).

My glasses cost about £400 - £500 every other year to replace. (Non-designer frames - the cost is the "thinning.)

Contact lenses plus containers plus solutions are about £350 per year.

Prescription sunglasses are £400 every 4 years. (I let them lag prescription wise as I can xope if they are not "perfect.)

So on average £650+ per year. I've been paying for them myself (rather than the NHS since I was 19 and I'm 35 now.

£650 * 16 = £10,400.

So far.......!

It's ok, I just find it aggravating that it costs so much money just to be able to see properly All these adverts for buy one pair get a second pair free, you just get laughedout of the opticians with my prescription. Admittedly contact lenses could be said to be a luxury item, but I find it very hard to drive in my super expensive thin glasses (straight ahead vision is fine but peripheral is very distorted making parking very tricky, especially after dark). I do get free sight tests but that's all the help there is available, I don't know if you'd get any help towards glasses if you were on a low income, but I suspect it wouldn't be much and you'd get only the most basic of glasses, which would be about an inch thick in my case and render driving completely impossible.

I think theres a huge difference between a 6yo needing them and say a 2yo.
My 2yo cant look after them herself. We've only just got them but the need cleaning after every meal. We've spent 4weekends on picking them up.
I was sad/confused when she got the prescription because
We got referred at birth to eye hospital as i thought she had a squint - rest of family thought i was being a hypochondriac.
So saw them like 3 times between 6m and 2yo, told all fine, a bit ls but that is usual in children (including eye dilation)
We were told likely to be discharged at next appt due to no issues but have the one more.
So i happily went along at appt expecting it to be the last one (phew). But no they thought she was favouring 1 eye, and they said she responsed like the left didnt see as much (well i didnt agree, it seemed exactly the same, especially as this was 2pm and she was likely tired)
So we went down to eye dilation and i think only really looked at 1 eye and gave a prescription based on the eyes being different +3.5 to +1.5. So overall im confused as it means either this appt was wrong, she deteriorated a lot in 8m or previously it wasnt picked up.
I was very concerned she wouldnt keep them on as has always hated sunglasses, but has fingers crossed been ok. Now i just need to worry about losing/breaking them at school or nursery or them not cleaning them.
I also agree about cost not wearing glasses has saves a fortune comparwd to dsis. Neither i or dp wear glasses, but everyone else in family does. Though the have SS.
So ive gone through the last weeks worrying that its related to her flat head on that side and feeling guilty i never saw gp about it. But it doesnt sound like it is, luckily, its just that would have explained how it changed over time.
We also had 1 white eye in photo so they checked that too.
Ovrall its a good thing, obviously that they can see. It really doesnt look bad but i feel a bit sad, it is uncommon to see very young kids in glasses, though this is likely related to us not being told to take them to optician, so its missed until they are at school. Also maybe the natural LS of babies means they dont need them until say 8.

I know i would have been awful with glasses, i broke 2 pairs of sunglasses last summer, they get stuck in my hair, get fingerprints on.

I also wore glasses from 9 months old or so. Late 1970s NHS with an elastic band to stop me pulling them off. I was born with a lazy eye and also had to wear eye patches until I was 7. My mam only put it on me in the mornings and after school - probably afraid I would be bullied. Some of the patches they get now are really good!

"I think theres a huge difference between a 6yo needing them and say a 2yo."

True, though to be honest I almost certainly needed them at 2, my complete blindypantedness(tm) just wasn't spotted until I was 6 (the opthalmologist I saw was very surprised that nobody had noticed my vision was so bad, I apparently had excellent coping strategies/didn't know any better). I think the disadvantages of having to take care of glasses would have been outweighed by my discovering several years earlier that the world wasn't actually blurred.

And yes, can definitely see how the expense could rack up if you have a very unusual/strong prescription or need other aids as well. My glasses are at least 300 euro but i don't need to replace them that often and hardly ever use contacts, so...

(also in a yay? phenomenon, my age-related long-sightedness is starting to cancel out my congenital short-sightedness so I currently have the weakest prescription I've had since I was about ten)

Yy whoknows I get really distracting reflections when driving at night in both contacts and my glasses, so avoid it as much as possible.

This is my inlaws with ds (5).
They said things like: will he always need them? (But said in a pitying way)
Oh what a shame it's spoiled his little face.
Does he get it from your side because he certainly doesn't get it from ours!
Can't they do anything else for him?
Can't he take them off for photos because he looks better without them?

Er no. He has +9 vision.
They said the above in front of ds.

To test my DSs vision before he was able to talk they used a variety to techniques. They observed him focusing on objects and pictures both close up and far away and at different angles, they also used drops to dilate his pupils so they could examine the shape of the lens of his eye and determine how it focuses.

DS has a noticeable squint and is +5 / +5.5, so long sighted - his lens is sort of rugby ball shaped. We patch his good eye a couple of hours a day to encourage him to use both eyes - he is not cooperative with the patching! His squint is better with his glasses but will probably still require surgery at some point.

Are they older people commenting op?

My mum asked if DD was upset at getting glasses for school - she was 7 and over the moon. A girl at ballet got them last week and all the girls (9/10yr)were very jealous/admiring. I went in Claire's today and they had a full rack of fake glasses.

DS has just got glasses, he's 5. They're +8, so pretty thick (at least while we wait for the thinned lenses to be ready). He's had a few pitying looks, and one person said to me: 'he doesn't have much luck, does he?' Which was a bit unexpected! I think he's pretty lucky, overall.

I did want to punch the woman who had obviously just received the all clear following the school nurse's visit and announced to her child, in front of my son : 'oh look, you've got perfect eyesight. No glasses for you. Thank goodness.'

My boy may have shit vision, but at least his mum isn't a knobhead.

It's rude of people to make remarks like that, OP, but it will be water off a duck's back for your DC. I've worn spectacles since I was 3 or 4 - just to see properly - and was called 'Four Eyes' only once since then and I'm talking about many years.

I do not remember anyone saying anything negative about them (unless my mother avoided letting me hear it) so your DC won't remember as he's younger than I was, anyway. I'm just glad that I can see and am proud of the NHS for what it does for people like us.