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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To pretend the cat did it and now I've had to put socks on her?

201 replies

PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 14:28

So,I stupidly left a very large family jar of beetroot juice on the kitchen counter and went away for two days. I returned to shattered jar and dried beetroot juice in the light grey grout of my kitchen floor - cue bloody cat references from DP as nothing is getting the stain out. Sooooo I decided to pour pure bleach into the grout, not just a couple of lines to test the result/effect... The entire floor!! Now DP is on his way home, I've gone bleach blind due to the fumes, the kitchen is soaked in bleach that WONT lift and I've used the steamer on it which has made it worse x 100! The cat is now wearing my socks tied on with my hair bobbles and really not happy, but I can't get it off the floor and I'm worried she will get hurt by the bleach, DP will have final proof that I'm a complete nugget so WIBU to blame the cat for spilling bleach? Hmm

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Thread gallery
11
waithorse · 04/03/2015 19:29

Marking my place until I can get off the app. I have to see these pictures. Grin

Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 19:29

I can see it now! AIBU - my stupid human slave put a noxious substance on the kitchen floor after I had helpfully decorated parts of it purple for her, THEN the stupid human used hair catchers to put frilly white fricken socks on me for NO apparent reason!! I left! AIBU to have left home, sexily taken off the stocking I had on in front of Christian grey (the sexy tom from the next street) and had my way with him? I'm also going to sing the song of my people to her at three am to register my displeasure!!

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Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 19:31

Juggling, I couldn't breed her as she had been tainted According to the posh old burd I bought her from! She's been neutered since

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stubbornstains · 04/03/2015 19:33

Oh God OP, you have just made a pregnant woman properly wet herself and cry at the same time. Have you ever considered doing stand up? Just don't, whatever you do, Nair the cat...Grin.

(I shouted at my vet for calling my cat a whore, once).

JugglingLife · 04/03/2015 19:38

Oh fuck me, I've been tainted too three frigging times, I can't believe you listened to the old bitch, Paula really? I feel robbed.

Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 19:40

This is her modelling Xmas jumper, Xmas day dress and loins mane hat! It's no wonder she hates me!!

To pretend the cat did it and now I've had to put socks on her?
To pretend the cat did it and now I've had to put socks on her?
To pretend the cat did it and now I've had to put socks on her?
OP posts:
WyldChyld · 04/03/2015 19:43

Paula, I love you, will divorce my DH to run off with you and raise crazy cat babies together xD I promise I won't ever be cross if you dye the kitchen floor purple! I nearly weed I laughed so hard

LMGTFY · 04/03/2015 19:45

That last face says 'I'm going to kill you!!'

JugglingLife · 04/03/2015 19:46

Oh bloody hell, I'm peeing my pants, sweetie, what do you do to the children? please, please, please tell us

MyCarHasBrokenDownAgain · 04/03/2015 19:47

'Loins' mane? Are you referring to pubes again? Grin Grin. Fooking hilarious thread, love the last picture!

CatsCantTwerk · 04/03/2015 19:51

Taking aside the hilariousness of this thread, if you ever stain your grout again, use a tip ex pen, it makes it look like new Grin

AlpacaPicnic · 04/03/2015 19:58

Omg! I really want to put socks on one of my cats now!
Op, I luffs you a bit...

sosix · 04/03/2015 20:02

Thank you for being my friend. I second you come on her to entertain us at the witching hour. This should go in classics. Pmsl at straight pubic hair is that even possible not bus Grin

sosix · 04/03/2015 20:02

Nut bush even

stubbornstains · 04/03/2015 20:05

Go on, 'fess up- the loins mane is made from your cast off Tina Turner pubes, isn't it? The resemblance is startling Grin.

Judging by the facial expression in these photos, your cat is probably out trying to recruit a hit man right now. I'd turn the play room into a panic room before she gets back...

Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 20:14

Ha ha ha ha panic room/play room/ hit man/divorcing husbands etc etc I think I have finally found my niche... DP always says "honey, your pretty, we can't expect you to be clever too!" Which can be annoying as I'm shot got a general knowledge!! I struggling to retain anything worthwhile but can rattle of the number for the whitehouse (it WILL come up in a quiz one day It WILL!)

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Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 20:15

And for your information my pubes are harvested to for alopesia suffering hedgehogs!

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minkGrundy · 04/03/2015 20:30

If only you could follow ppl on MN

HemanOrSheRa · 04/03/2015 21:11

This thread is hilarious! Paula if I were you I wouldn't go to sleep tonight. Your cat is plotting against you right now!

Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 04/03/2015 21:42

All this humiliation effort and one ONE classics comment! You lot suck!! Grin

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Crocodopolis · 04/03/2015 21:48

Paula, I love you (n a platonic way). This thread is a hoot.

PivotPIVOT · 04/03/2015 22:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Trills · 04/03/2015 22:50

At least she has FORM for socks.

If she had turned up with a sock on you could have just said well you know she has a bit of thing for socks and brushed it off.

goodasitgets · 04/03/2015 23:53

Oh god the mane hat photo and the pissed off third pic did me in. I have tears streaming down my face!

Original poster
PaulaJane37 · 05/03/2015 00:06

I think she still loves me ... Or that is a look of "you are fricken dead bitch!"

To pretend the cat did it and now I've had to put socks on her?
To pretend the cat did it and now I've had to put socks on her?
OP posts: