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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To ask you to relive a cringey moment

148 replies

heatseeker14 · 04/03/2015 10:16

Need a laugh this morning, after my beloved cat brought in a live mouse, just after 6am leaving me to corner & capture the damn thing.

I can offer the following two:

Wearing what I thought was a rather nice looking, tight fitting, polo neck top. Only to discover later on at a kids party, I had HUGE sweat patches. The more embarrassed I got, the larger they became!!!

On returning to my car, having collected an order delivered to a well known store, I discovered I had a massive, highly visible bogey . I had spent a long time chatting to staff having collected my order, tried the stuff on and then returned a couple of items - Cringe.

Can anyone else trump these?!

OP posts:

theboatisleaking · 05/03/2015 19:20

Was watching a play with DD (7) and DS(5), rows of staggered seats very close together. DD had a wobbly tooth, I kept telling her to stop wobbling it but she ignored me. Suddenly in peripheral vision I saw something fly out of her mouth and into hair of woman sitting in seat in front (woman had a smart up-do). Thinking DD had accidentally spat out a sweet I glared at her, she whispered 'my tooth's in that lady's hair I can see it!' Had to restrain DD from reaching for it, she started crying because she wanted it for tooth-fairy. DS joined in by throwing a piece of popcorn at the woman, who turned round, glared at me, patted her hair and dislodged tooth. DD was getting hysterical so in the interval I ended up scrabbling on hands and knees under the seats in front. When woman came back and asked what i'd lost, DD blurted out 'mummy's looking for my tooth, it fell out and stuck in your hair!'

And yes, I did find it

Original poster

heatseeker14 · 05/03/2015 21:04

That made me snort out loud girlwithagruffalotattoo. Heyheyheygoodbye thanks for sharing I also liked the other sanitary related post, the one with the dog I have enjoyed reading all of these cringey stories, thanks to everyone who has posted. Unfortunately the more I read, the more I remember things I have said or done!

OP posts:

Original poster

heatseeker14 · 05/03/2015 21:21

That is an awesome tale of cringe Gymbum

OP posts:

wartsnall · 05/03/2015 21:25

gymbum I've woke my kids up laughing at that!!!!!

oneofthosedays · 05/03/2015 22:38

I have a history of occasional brain to mouth failure and this particular incident comes back to haunt me frequently. I had left my uni course after I decided it wasn't for me and arranged to go back and meet my fellow students a few weeks later to say goodbye. We were all sat having lunch and a fellow student breaks the news that she was expecting a baby, instead of saying the usual congratulations etc I somehow managed to say 'ooh you horny bitch' to which there was stunned silence and pregnant colleague burst into awkward laughter. Never apologised so much in my life, I still to this day don't know wtf I was thinking to come out with that, I made some excuse that I was working with a load of lads since I left. Sometimes the memory just pops back up and I actually shudder in embarrassment!

GymBum · 05/03/2015 22:47

I still laugh about the poo lady and I heard it years ago.

heat I also keep remembering more. Like going to an Institute Dinner I won't say which or go into too much detail because story is way to identifiable where one of the MDs PAs got so hammered on the free wine she dropped her pants and pee'd in front of 350 people

GymBum · 05/03/2015 22:48

Wartsnall sorry for waking kids.

foslady · 05/03/2015 22:49

Only been in the new job a few weeks, factory was still in the commissioning stage so lots of progress meetings. At a meeting with the Factory Manager (an engineer by trade who quite frankly wasn't exactly Gods gift), the Works Engineer, Quality Manager and the Production Manager (and my boss) we were going through the next weeks planned works when the FM announced that the Fire Authorities were coming to inspect
Ooh, lots of hunky firemen!' I said (this was around the time of the 'Coke Break' adverts).
To which the FM said 'Hmm, but us Engineers are quite sexy too, aren't we?'
Engineer blushed slightly and looked down at the table.

At that point I realised the Engineer was also a retained fire fighter.....

GymBum · 05/03/2015 22:50

Wartsnall sorry for waking kids

ImTakingTheEssence · 05/03/2015 22:53

This morning a dog stopped and was looking at me I said hello to it. I then grinned insanely at the owner saying look hes smiling at me all dogs smile at me . Owner then walked off looking at me like im insane but that dog did smile at me. Babies also stare at me they must sense my strangeness.

gooeycookie · 05/03/2015 22:58

Howling at some of these!
Mine is so horrifically awful but would out me in a heartbeat so I'll let it keep me awake tonight instead.
Loving Mooey's 'flannelling the beaver'. Going try to use that in a sentence at work tomorrow

Rockclimbingtigger · 05/03/2015 23:22

Actually just snorted and woke my husband up at these.

Personal favourites were the "minge trim" and getting 2 detentions - one for the noise and one for the smell.

My mother would have been really fucking proud appalled if that had been me.

funnyface31 · 05/03/2015 23:42

I went to a concert last year with my friend. We decided on a bottle of wine and bought lemonade to dilute it . The cups where huge with a lid and straw (McDonald style) anyway we sat down and I put the cup between my knees to take my jacket off.
The cup suddenly squashed and at least a third of it ended up den the back of the girlie front. She had long hair (looked like she had been the hairdresser that day too), it was matted to her back.
By golly I felt like shit, the poor thing was drowned and probably sticky as hell too.
She left a it long after and I still feel telly bad but peeing my self laughing every time I think about it.

wartsnall · 05/03/2015 23:51

That's okay GymBum they,re used to me cackling away 'like a witch' apparently!

MoonlightandMusic · 05/03/2015 23:52

Well, umm my first post on this thread?

wartsnall · 05/03/2015 23:57

Haha moonlight
Thursday wine night is so worth it though :-)

GymBum · 06/03/2015 06:01

# Wartsnall nothing wrong with a good cackle. Ha ha

hopelesslydevotedtoGu · 06/03/2015 08:03

I was backpacking around India and had a heavy period. I was watching tv with three guys from my hotel in one of their hotel rooms. I felt that my pad was full and got up to change it, only to find that I had leaked a huge patch of blood on his white sheet. I didn't know the guys well and was too embarrassed to admit it, so instead I insisted that we must go to the shop to buy drinks immediately. They really didn't want to go- and it was their hotel room- but I banged on about how thirsty I was, then as they were walking out the door I said 'actually, I'll wait here whilst you get the drinks, I'm enjoying this tv show'!! Whilst they were gone I phoned the front desk and insisted that the bed sheets be changed immediately, stripped the bed, changed my own pad, hurried the hotel staff along when they came to change the sheets, and had everything normal by the time the three guys returned with the drinks.

PHEW! I breathed a sigh of relief.... then promptly leaked period blood on the bed a second time fifteen minutes later! Another huge patch. Oh God. So I insisted we go out to dinner immediately, the guys were evidently pissed off to be ordered out their room a second time, as we got to the door I said 'I'll catch you up' and shut it in their face, phoned reception and insisted the bed sheets are charged again immediately, hurried the pissed off staff along a second time, then finally went down to dinner.

Despite my nutty behaviour I became good friends with one of the three guys and later, wondering if I should have just confessed my leak at the time and we could have all laughed about it, I told him the full story. He was literally disgusted, he said they had all wondered what I was doing in there, but the truth was apparently more revolting than they could have possibly guessed!!

EveBoswell · 06/03/2015 10:54

hopelesslydevoted Your post reminded me of one. I always tried to organise my holidays between periods but was not always totally successful. I was on holiday in Mongolia and was staying in a tented compound with guard dogs and men guarding don't know what against at night. I had to go to the latrine one night and was followed by five or six of the dogs dogs, which would not leave me alone even though I tried to get rid of them. You can all guess why I was so popular . A couple of guards had to come to my rescue.

holls2000 · 06/03/2015 20:40

I went for interview at a Catholic school. in interview with head, he was outlining the pay and benefits etc.....it was a v good deal. rather than saying "oh wow that's amazing" I enthusiastically yelped "jesus christ that's good". I didn't get the job.

Doggygirl · 06/03/2015 21:29

At cinema with boyfriend, had to go to loo... Sat down beside him, put my hand on his thigh and kissed his neck... He turned to me and said, "I think you are sitting next to the wrong man!"

I WAS SITTING NEXT TO THE WRONG MAN!

I crawled, away, in utter shame... When I finally reached my boyfriend, I hissed "As soon as the film ends - WE LEAVE!".

Loletta · 06/03/2015 21:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

manchestermummy · 06/03/2015 22:43

Aged 16, my period started. These days I always generally have something with me at given times of the month, but I never did back then. So I did the old trick of getting a wodge of toilet roll and putting it my knickers.

My friend had a bf who was much older and drove. He gave me a lift once in his dad's rather lovely car. It was new and German and really very posh. The toilet roll wodge was in place before I got in the car. I went straight to the bathroom when I got in to replace the wodge with some official sanitary product.

The wodge was gone.

Simon's dad: I am so sorry.

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